The dumbest sh!t hunters say...

[cnelk]

They have nailed it again

The Dumbest Shit Hunters Say

Here’s a rundown of some of the dumbest things you’ll hear from the hunting community. “Harvest” or “Harvested” Are you a farmer? Do you own a combine? No? THEN …

theangrybowhunter.com

 

[Miflatlander91]

@KevinMartinez1

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[TreeStandAthlete]

I don't even know if meat makes my top 3 favorite things about hunting. I also donate most of my deer to hunters against hunger because I'm not poor, beef tastes better, and I just like hunting. Fight me.

 

[Steve1662]

Guys nailing it. Gonna be keeping that site's tab open on my phone.

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[Wvroach]

I don't even know if meat makes my top 3 favorite things about hunting. I also donate most of my deer to hunters against hunger because I'm not poor, beef tastes better, and I just like hunting. Fight me.

So your a sadistic monster deriving pleasure from inflicting pain and death on innocent critters? And you don't even eat them... You make the poors eat your freshly harvested game! #REEEEEEEEEEEEE #SNOWFlAKEMELTDOWN #FIGHTCLUB

 

[ShakeDown]

I could have written this. Beautiful.

 

[LostArra]

Cull buck = I normally shoot much larger deer

translated: I couldn't go to work on Monday with tag soup spilled on my shirt and this is the only deer I saw

(I'm an old peaceful guy but nothing makes me want to punch a computer screen more than the term "cull buck")

 

[Indian Summer]

I guess I’m old and soft. Too old to switch over to politically correct words like harvest. But I also don’t use sayings like “I smoked his ass” either. Nothing against it. Nothing wrong with a hunter getting fired up and using phrases from his generation.

But old and soft also means respectful. I do not hunt anything I won’t eat. I do fill my freezer every year with elk and if I am down to 2 days left in my hunt and I can’t find a big bull I will shift gears to “grocery shopping” for smaller ones.

I’m all about the fun of hunting but I also see it as a way of life. A passion. But I think think there are other benefits besides meat and memories. It builds character. It teaches patience. It teaches us to get our asses out of bed on time if we expect to get anything done. It shows us that nothing is free and you have to work for what you want.

It also keeps us from losing touch with our animal instincts.

Ok now I’ll shift gears too…. That’s why the anti hunting pussies have no Fn clue about realities of life and the world. That’s why they think life should be nothing but a bowl of cherries beside a cup of Starbucks coffee and that we can have a world where nothing should offend anyone ever. They sit there eating a steak and bitch about us doing our own killing.

That’s all fine and frickin dandy but they also want to control or eliminate our way of life and that’s where I draw the line.

I kill shit but I still feel bad for the deer when we get ice storms and it’s sub zero out. I feel bad when I see a road killed doe. But if we had an open season on anti hunters I’d be the first one to punch my tag and show you a video where I said “Booyah I smoked his ass boys. Now off the the animal shelter to donate some meat!” Lmao

Am I an angry hunter? Sometimes. Lol

 

[Clarktar]

A real warrior. Old warrior. Old crusty. Wouldn't have made it through the winter.

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[5MilesBack]

But I also don’t use sayings like “I smoked his ass” either.

Every time I see a guy on a hunting show say "I smoked him", I'm thinking "smoked him????"......you haven't even recovered him". If I ever heard one say "smoked his ass", I'd be thinking "alrighty then.......whatever works for you".

 

[southLA]

I understand his point about "filling the freezer" but his math is way off. Hunting does not have to be expensive.

 

[Indian Summer]

I’d actually watch some tv if they had a reality show like Survivor where they dumped off a dizen vegans and anti hunters on an island. An island with no fruit, vegetables, or tofu. Just a healthy population of pigs and chickens. Give them a .22 and a bow and arrows and see how long it takes them to get back in touch with reality and their animal instincts when they’re starving to death.

I want to be the show host like Jeff Probst. Only funnier and rough around the edges… “Ok you pussies it’s day 5. You’re all looking skinny and weak. Pathetic. I don’t think you assholes are going to make it another 2 or 3 days. You’ll be glad to know we’re feeding your carcasses to the pigs if it comes to that so what’s it gonna be snowflakes…. A slow cruel death for you or a couple quick clean kills and chicken sammiches and pork chops for everyone”

Maybe I am any angry hunter.

 

[Laramie]

Most is spot on. Some of us do fill the freezer though. I haven't bought any beef in over 15 years. We eat elk, deer and antelope for our red meat exclusively. It is getting tougher to do every year but thankfully doe tags are still cheap. If you are a good hunter, process your own meat, and don't buy the latest fad every year it really doesn't cost much more than store bought meat.

 

[TreeStandAthlete]

I’d actually watch some tv if they had a reality show like Survivor where they dumped off a dizen vegans and anti hunters on an island. An island with no fruit, vegetables, or tofu. Just a healthy population of pigs and chickens. Give them a .22 and a bow and arrows and see how long it takes them to get back in touch with reality and their animal instincts when they’re starving to death.

I want to be the show host like Jeff Probst. Only funnier and rough around the edges… “Ok you pussies it’s day 5. You’re all looking skinny and weak. Pathetic. I don’t think you assholes are going to make it another 2 or 3 days. You’ll be glad to know we’re feeding your carcasses to the pigs if it comes to that so what’s it gonna be snowflakes…. A slow cruel death for you or a couple quick clean kills and chicken sammiches and pork chops for everyone”

Maybe I am any angry hunter.

In my mind I like to imagine one of the contestants was just vegan to get laid and as you're yelling at all the other emaciated contestants he's just snacking on a rack of smoke pork ribs tossing in a couple "yeah, you pussies" here and there too as he enjoys the most liberating month of his life.

 

[5MilesBack]

I haven't bought any beef in over 15 years.

I fill the freezer(s) with bacon.......and prime rib when I find decent bone-in vacuum packs of entire sides for cheap. And then have to scramble every September to find room for game meat. I had to buy a new 15 cu ft chest freezer in 2020 when I drew my moose and sheep tags, because I knew I wouldn't have room for both of those. So ya "filling the freezers" really is spot on. And on top of that......they're more efficient when they are full.

 

[CAElkhunter]

Now that was funny to read and for the most part he was right on. I don't agree with point that hunting is all about the killing. If you are only happy elk hunting if you kill something you are missing out. I enjoy my rifles.
I like all of the hunting gear and clothes. The planning of next years hunt, telling stories about last years hunt and getting out of the city into the woods is a big part of it for me. It does suck when you hike 50 miles during a week and don't see anything but it is all part of the game. If I stepped out of my truck and killed something within 100 yds every time that wouldn't do it for me.

 

[Laramie]

Now that was funny to read and for the most part he was right on. I don't agree with point that hunting is all about the killing. If you are only happy elk hunting if you kill something you are missing out. I enjoy my rifles.
I like all of the hunting gear and clothes. The planning of next years hunt, telling stories about last years hunt and getting out of the city into the woods is a big part of it for me. It does suck when you hike 50 miles during a week and don't see anything but it is all part of the game. If I stepped out of my truck and killed something within 100 yds every time that wouldn't do it for me.

Love those years when I fill my tag opening morning... More time to fish, call coyotes, and small game hunt while my buddies are grinding it out.

 

[Firestone]

"Old and regressed" as they are posing with a two year old three point. "Giant backend" or "huge whaletail" and it's a 5 point, that one drives me nuts. "Management buck" haha you mean you shot a dink

 

[Oregonboy]

Damn I like this author, that was hilarious and refreshing to read.

 

[wannakillabigbull]

I’d actually watch some tv if they had a reality show like Survivor where they dumped off a dizen vegans and anti hunters on an island. An island with no fruit, vegetables, or tofu. Just a healthy population of pigs and chickens. Give them a .22 and a bow and arrows and see how long it takes them to get back in touch with reality and their animal instincts when they’re starving to death.

I want to be the show host like Jeff Probst. Only funnier and rough around the edges… “Ok you pussies it’s day 5. You’re all looking skinny and weak. Pathetic. I don’t think you assholes are going to make it another 2 or 3 days. You’ll be glad to know we’re feeding your carcasses to the pigs if it comes to that so what’s it gonna be snowflakes…. A slow cruel death for you or a couple quick clean kills and chicken sammiches and pork chops for everyone”

Maybe I am any angry hunter.

There was a crazy vegetarian or vegan lady on a few seasons back that released her tribe's chickens in the middle of the night. She didn't want to eat the chickens so I guess that meant no one else could? She semi-quit later in the show which wasn't a huge surprise.

They also do a gross food eating competition on some seasons and I remember at least one instance where a vegetarian refused to eat a cow brain and lost her part of the challenge. Would have been great if Jeff wasn't so PC and threw some zingers in there though!