So what cell phone did you finally buy your teenage daughter?

We have found my old iphone set up for her has been good. She literally cannot download any app without my permission. As far as the wide open internet, you tube etc, we have spent years discussing what is appropriate and what is not. She exceeds our expectations in that department.
Impromptu, covert checking on things wouldn't hurt as well.
 
It’s unreal how many parents are clueless regarding putting limitations on their children’s phone. I’ll keep it simple, kids are smarter than you. They have all the SM apps and can hide them even if you think you blocked them, they can get around screen time limitations, they can find ways to really do anything they want with their phones when they have them in hand. I’ve seen parents think they have everything locked down or blocked then see their kids on SM on that same phone. How’d you do that!? - they are better at playing the game than you. I feel like (just my opinion) Apple doesn’t care about your permissions and they make more off your kids so they leave gaps somewhere. Kids will screen record without you knowing and get all your passwords FYI. I’m not there yet with my kids being under 4. But I’ve done plenty of research preparing and I’ve seen relatives who say they got it covered when they don’t. Kids tell on other kids and some will show their parents what so and so is actually doing on their phones.
 
Pacific_Fork said:
It’s unreal how many parents are clueless regarding putting limitations on their children’s phone. I’ll keep it simple, kids are smarter than you. They have all the SM apps and can hide them even if you think you blocked them, they can get around screen time limitations, they can find ways to really do anything they want with their phones when they have them in hand. I’ve seen parents think they have everything locked down or blocked then see their kids on SM on that same phone. How’d you do that!? - they are better at playing the game than you. I feel like (just my opinion) Apple doesn’t care about your permissions and they make more off your kids so they leave gaps somewhere. Kids will screen record without you knowing and get all your passwords FYI. I’m not there yet with my kids being under 4. But I’ve done plenty of research preparing and I’ve seen relatives who say they got it covered when they don’t. Kids tell on other kids and some will show their parents what so and so is actually doing on their phones.
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This is true. My kids get around stuff on phones and iPads pretty easily. The best thing to do is limit their use and set some firm ground rules. At minimum keeping them off social media as much as I’m able and limited the time the phone can be in their hands.

Last night I forgot to take my daughter’s phone at bed time. I went upstairs unannounced and I was really happy when she was reading a book and her phone was on the other side of the room. It felt like a small win, lol.
 
My wife brought this up a few nights ago. Glad we don’t have to deal with it for another 10 years or so, but there will probably some crazy different thing by then!

Ran into a friend and her girls in the lodge after skiing the other day. We had a couple beers and her pre-teen girls sat there with their embroidery boards while we talked. Was cool to see, and I made sure to compliment Mom. The young female bartender came over and showed the girls her mini quilting kit she does when the bar is slow instead of staring at her phone. Hopefully the tides are changing and stuff like that is considered cooler than phones and social media when my kids get there, but I won’t get my hopes up!
 
Pacific_Fork said:
It’s unreal how many parents are clueless regarding putting limitations on their children’s phone. I’ll keep it simple, kids are smarter than you. They have all the SM apps and can hide them even if you think you blocked them, they can get around screen time limitations, they can find ways to really do anything they want with their phones when they have them in hand. I’ve seen parents think they have everything locked down or blocked then see their kids on SM on that same phone. How’d you do that!? - they are better at playing the game than you. I feel like (just my opinion) Apple doesn’t care about your permissions and they make more off your kids so they leave gaps somewhere. Kids will screen record without you knowing and get all your passwords FYI. I’m not there yet with my kids being under 4. But I’ve done plenty of research preparing and I’ve seen relatives who say they got it covered when they don’t. Kids tell on other kids and some will show their parents what so and so is actually doing on their phones.
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I remember going to my in laws once and my mother in law was bragging how she had their internet so guarded that her teenaged kids couldn’t see anything she didn’t want them to. I said something to the effect of “oh, they have found a way around it, trust me.” She went on some 5 minute rant about how smart she was, blah, blah, blah.

How did I know her kids knew a way around it? They showed me how they did it. Took them about 5 minutes.
 
kpk said:
We got our oldest a phone when she started doing the extra curricular school stuff. 11 or 12 maybe?

We've been using Life 360 since it was in development - very handy app to have and we required location services to be on all the time. I used to use Life 360 to find softball fields and schools in towns that I wasn't familiar with. A lot of the fields aren't at the schools around here so I could just look on the app and find her.

Honestly, if they want to get around locks or screen times bad enough, they'll find a way. Just make sure she has a good head on her shoulders and a full understanding of the consequences that may arise if she does something stupid. Once those pics or messages go out, they are out for the whole world to see forever.

Lots of benefits to the kids having a phone too - its not all gloom and doom. She's to that age she's gonna start running around on her own and needing to get picked up from school, practice, friends, field trips, and just calling mom or dad to ask questions.
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This was what worked best for us getting our daughter a phone, of coarse not to sound like I'm bragging or anything but our daughter was as easy as it gets growing up she is now 17 graduated 2 years early and has 2 semesters of college in so far with good grades, so we're pleased with how she turned out.
 
Cwsharer said:
Why not get em a flip phone?
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This is where I’m at. I investigated child crimes for a while and there was no segment of society that wasn’t targeted and exploited via social media on iPhones. One case I worked with a 15 year old girl, she was contacted 10-15 times a day via Instagram DM by adult men. These apps aren’t safe for kids to use. I allow my 10 year old son access to supervised interested usage, while I’m in the same room. One day when he gets a phone it will be text and call, that’s it.
 
Guess I’m an asshole.
My daughter is 30, thinking that far back we got her an iPod touch when she turned 14 or 16. Those were iPhones without the phone for the youngins here. :p
Her mom and I made her interact with people and make friends she could actually see. She played outside, got dirty and was active daily.
We also knew her whereabouts when she was outside.
We made her buy her first car as well. I’d like to think what we did helped. She graduated culinary school, is a chef and owns a restaurant in downtown Pittsburgh PA now.

Just got back from a cruise and the amount of fat kids I saw with headphones on and buried in a phone or tablet was off the charts.
 
My daughter is also 30. I have no idea what phone I got her when she was 13-14.

But I know it was a flip phone with only a few numbers stored in it with my supervision 👍
 
tony said:
Guess I’m an asshole.
My daughter is 30, thinking that far back we got her an iPod touch when she turned 14 or 16. Those were iPhones without the phone for the youngins here. :p
Her mom and I made her interact with people and make friends she could actually see. She played outside, got dirty and was active daily.
We also knew her whereabouts when she was outside.
We made her buy her first car as well. I’d like to think what we did helped. She graduated culinary school, is a chef and owns a restaurant in downtown Pittsburgh PA now.

Just got back from a cruise and the amount of fat kids I saw with headphones on and buried in a phone or tablet was off the charts.
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There was a group of traffickers caught in a neighboring state distributing “burner phones” that get circulated in school. Most kids with married/involved parents like us are generally ok, it’s the third of the kids that are completely unsupervised… and sometimes their friends. Talking with a local investigator, he’s saying having a known commodity is probably better than pushing them to consider other options if the pressure/desire is there.

Trust me, I woulda bet $1k we would never be crossing this bridge this early.
 
Pacific_Fork said:
It’s unreal how many parents are clueless regarding putting limitations on their children’s phone. I’ll keep it simple, kids are smarter than you. They have all the SM apps and can hide them even if you think you blocked them, they can get around screen time limitations, they can find ways to really do anything they want with their phones when they have them in hand. I’ve seen parents think they have everything locked down or blocked then see their kids on SM on that same phone. How’d you do that!? - they are better at playing the game than you. I feel like (just my opinion) Apple doesn’t care about your permissions and they make more off your kids so they leave gaps somewhere. Kids will screen record without you knowing and get all your passwords FYI. I’m not there yet with my kids being under 4. But I’ve done plenty of research preparing and I’ve seen relatives who say they got it covered when they don’t. Kids tell on other kids and some will show their parents what so and so is actually doing on their phones.
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While your scenario may be true for the large majority, and I'd agree with that, my experience is not anything close to that. I have 3 kids, they all have phones, and they literally cannot access ANY apps without me inputting a password and biometrics. And again, the most important part here for my family, was having the discipline, trust, and proper upbringing where my kids would never go behind our back on something, because there entire lives they have learned there are serious repercussions for their actions.

So to answer the OP's question, what phone would you recommend? You mentioned doing research, but also said your kids don't have phones. Curious what the info you came across suggested.
 
menhaden_man said:
I didn’t know they had that for a phone… looks pretty solid. I already own the one for your router and it’s done OK near as I can tell.
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iPhone really allows parents as good of control as you can get, no social media is easy to stop, asking permission electronically for everything. Monitor screen time, apps, set what rating they can see and li it any adult related material.
 
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