So what cell phone did you finally buy your teenage daughter?

[tdhanses]

While your scenario may be true for the large majority, and I'd agree with that, my experience is not anything close to that. I have 3 kids, they all have phones, and they literally cannot access ANY apps without me inputting a password and biometrics. And again, the most important part here for my family, was having the discipline, trust, and proper upbringing where my kids would never go behind our back on something, because there entire lives they have learned there are serious repercussions for their actions.

So to answer the OP's question, what phone would you recommend? You mentioned doing research, but also said your kids don't have phones. Curious what the info you came across suggested.

Bet those parents didn’t have the phones setup as kid lines with full parental control and only way to access changes etc is through the parents phone. No need for internet browsing which allows for a secondary way to get around SM access. It doesn’t take much to fully lock these down and then allow access to certain game apps, no different then having an iPad.

Problem I see is parents not having a clue about tech and how to use it or lock it down and saying they trust their kids, I trust mine but won’t let them have an opportunity to test it with their phone. I got it for before and after school communication.

 

[Luke S]

This one is tough. My kids are adopted. I won't go into all we've dealt but lets just say not all kids have the same needs. Ours struggle with impulse control so we went farther towards the protective side of things then most.

We tried a flip phone. Then we found out that all the flip phones available in Alaska can get on the internet. Its not as easy, but yes, a young person can look up some pretty inappropriate things on flip phone. So that didn't work out.

We next tried Gabb life phones. They look like a smartphone but they only do phone calls, texts, and a few other things. As far as I can tell they have successfully walled this phone off from the internet. Our kids can't get on apps, social media or websites. As far as I know, three kids have not been able to get around that. A couple just got new phones when they became independent or semi independent. I call that a win.

Funny thing is, even with all that, our youngest still spends a ridiculous amount of time on his phone. Its a real distraction.

So you really need to think about what you are looking at. Here is my list.

1. Can they handle the internet? I.e. will they look up adult content that you don't want them exposed to? Or will someone send them stuff?

2. Can they handle the distraction? Will it ruin their ability to focus on school or real world relationships?

3. Will they be safe online from bullying or harassment?

In our case the answers were pretty much "no." Some kids do better with such things but I would lean towards parental controls and openness. I always made it clear those phones were MY phones as long as I paid for them. You have to do your part as the parent. Good luck.

 

[passinggas33]

Father of 3 teenage girls that are heavily involved with extracurricular activities. They had to have cell phones to call us or text us to have them come pick them up. So we did it in a couple steps and have been very pleased. I’ll share my advice.

Once they started after school sports or activities (6th grade) they were given a flip phone with only calling capabilities. The only two numbers in the phone were mine, my wife’s, and a close neighbor friend.

In eighth grade we moved them to a GABB wireless, but have now moved over to a company called Troomi. I highly recommend both of these companies, but I really like Troomi better. We can have access to their phones, see their texts, etc. But it doesn’t come with internet, or social media apps. It looks like a smart phone, acts like a smart phone, but isn’t. So she doesn’t get teased or anything like because she can text, send pics, etc. But we can also put time restrictions on everything.

We’ve left them on that plan until they become a junior in high school. At that point they have either earned our trust, or completely lost it. The one that earned our trust got a normal cell phone with all the capabilities, but we still put time restrictions on all social media, and texting after 10pm. The one that lost our trust kept the parental controlled phone.

Yes, people may think I’m overprotective, and they are damn right. I only get one chance to be the dad I should be with these kids, and I’m not going to let stupid social media screw it up.

 

[roadrunner]

I clearly remember a time without cellular phones.

A paper hunting application you have to mail in doesn't seem so bad anymore...

 

[roadrunner]

We started off with "dumb phones" and prepaid minutes. That way they could still make phone calls and text, but that was about it.

I think there are still some dumb phone options available.

 

[menhaden_man]

Father of 3 teenage girls that are heavily involved with extracurricular activities. They had to have cell phones to call us or text us to have them come pick them up. So we did it in a couple steps and have been very pleased. I’ll share my advice.

Once they started after school sports or activities (6th grade) they were given a flip phone with only calling capabilities. The only two numbers in the phone were mine, my wife’s, and a close neighbor friend.

In eighth grade we moved them to a GABB wireless, but have now moved over to a company called Troomi. I highly recommend both of these companies, but I really like Troomi better. We can have access to their phones, see their texts, etc. But it doesn’t come with internet, or social media apps. It looks like a smart phone, acts like a smart phone, but isn’t. So she doesn’t get teased or anything like because she can text, send pics, etc. But we can also put time restrictions on everything.

We’ve left them on that plan until they become a junior in high school. At that point they have either earned our trust, or completely lost it. The one that earned our trust got a normal cell phone with all the capabilities, but we still put time restrictions on all social media, and texting after 10pm. The one that lost our trust kept the parental controlled phone.

Yes, people may think I’m overprotective, and they are damn right. I only get one chance to be the dad I should be with these kids, and I’m not going to let stupid social media screw it up.

Great advice, thanks - haven’t heard of Troomi or Gabb.

Three teenage daughters, dunno how you’ve survived !

 

[summs]

Learn about your resources as a parent. Iphone has track my iphone. There are also loads of parental controls you can set like screen time, and app approval notifications. And apps that monitor usage and send you reports.

If she has Instagram, you have her Instagram password. Same for facebook, twitter, etc...

It's not so much about what they have access too, there is always another site. And toeing the line of intervene or not is tricky one. Can build or bust relationships very quickly.

Source: am IT professional and the internet is a scary place.

 

[BigBird69]

I guess I just don't see the need for a kid to have a cell phone. All of our children's extracurricular activities follow a set schedule so we know when to pick them up. Maybe I'm missing something. I think once they start driving by themselves it might change. But until then they're not getting one.

 

[menhaden_man]

I guess I just don't see the need for a kid to have a cell phone. All of our children's extracurricular activities follow a set schedule so we know when to pickup them up. Maybe I'm missing something. I think once they start driving by themselves it might change. But until then they're not getting one.

Yeah that’s where we were… “once you get a job” was what we thought was a good line. But I’m also realizing now that the pressure to communicate with friends, not be left out, etc is different from when I was a kid with free range on a bike with quarters for a pay phone.

 

[Pacific_Fork]

While your scenario may be true for the large majority, and I'd agree with that, my experience is not anything close to that. I have 3 kids, they all have phones, and they literally cannot access ANY apps without me inputting a password and biometrics. And again, the most important part here for my family, was having the discipline, trust, and proper upbringing where my kids would never go behind our back on something, because there entire lives they have learned there are serious repercussions for their actions.

So to answer the OP's question, what phone would you recommend? You mentioned doing research, but also said your kids don't have phones. Curious what the info you came across suggested.

I’m totally with you and agree it’s the majority of parents that are pretty ignorant (most willfully) about what their kids are doing. But I know if not your kids then their friends know how to get around EVERY single password and even biometrics you put in place. Just google-YouTube has how to videos I’m sure, without even looking. Not knocking you and I applaud your parenting otherwise, but I would get a flip phone if I truly wanted to sleep at night over these issues. I’m not looking forward to the day when I have to wade through these murky poisonous waters.

 

[menhaden_man]