September call your buddies.

Loo.wii

WKR
Joined
Sep 23, 2022
Messages
631
Its almost the eve of the rok's favorite time of the year, unfortunately September is also suicide prevention month. This year I've had not one, but 2 friends take their own lives, I've been unfortunate enough to have to had to deal with this 6 times. In both recent cases I had spoken with them shortly before their life ended. I felt an extreme sense of guilt that I could have done something to prevent their lives from ending so abruptly. Both young men, one I met in the service and the other was an extremely talented athlete who made it to the olympic trials as a marathon runner a few years ago.

I say all this, to highlight the endemic nature of suicide, specifically in men, especially as the days get shorter, and holidays that may exacerbate feelings of loneliness.

Call your friends, be kind to strangers, and don't wait till a funeral to share kind words about your friends.
 
Joined
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Good post. So damned hard to deal with and try to comprehend/understand when someone close does this and you didn’t even realize they were going through something.


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Marble

WKR
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
3,519
One of my hunting partners killed himself on my birthday this year. This was back in June. I knew he had some personal issues but not like that.

Pretty crappy.

I never really got sad. I guess I got, and still am, pretty damn mad about it.

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BravoNovember

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
242
Location
Wisconsin
Talking is good, but what's better is actually telling someone when you feel depressed or have thoughts of self-harm. It's not uncommon, and you owe it to people who love you. You're not helping them by keeping it all in.
I just went through this myself. It’s not easy to talk about. After several years feeling depressed and alone, even with those close to me. I was at a point that I was more afraid of what would happen if I didn’t talk. Not everything is better, but I can tell you that the weight off my shoulders is tremendous. Thanks for posting this.
 

Jimmy

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Joined
Apr 18, 2016
Messages
372
Location
California
I just went through this myself. It’s not easy to talk about. After several years feeling depressed and alone, even with those close to me. I was at a point that I was more afraid of what would happen if I didn’t talk. Not everything is better, but I can tell you that the weight off my shoulders is tremendous. Thanks for posting this.
Absolutely man, once guys start talking they often realize that there's way more people around them going through stuff too than they imagined! It's not about being 'tough', it's actually more tough to talk about it.
 

BravoNovember

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
242
Location
Wisconsin
Absolutely man, once guys start talking they often realize that there's way more people around them going through stuff too than they imagined! It's not about being 'tough', it's actually more tough to talk about it.
For years I’ve felt very ashamed. Now I talk about it. Hopefully it helps someone else out.
 

CMP70306

WKR
Joined
Mar 3, 2023
Messages
326
I have luckily only had to deal with it once, a good buddy of mine took his life less than 2 weeks after his 20th birthday 11 years ago. He had been struggling with what to do with his life and career after college and the military didn’t work out but he was living with and working for his Dad so he had a place to stay and a steady job in the meantime.

Our families were good friends and he was like an adopted son to my parents with how much time he spent with us over the 13 years we knew him. He had spent the prior weekend with us at our cabin and seemed back to his old self, my parents had even mentioned afterwards that he seemed happier than he had in months.

We thought it was due to him finally deciding on what to do with his life, we just had no idea that his plan was to end it until we got the call from his Dad at 6am when he found him after he didn’t come down for work.
 
Joined
Mar 13, 2024
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417
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Missoula, MT
Talking is good, but what's better is actually telling someone when you feel depressed or have thoughts of self-harm. It's not uncommon, and you owe it to people who love you. You're not helping them by keeping it all in.
Agree fully. Man up and be brave. Suicide is the coward’s way out. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.
 
Joined
Jul 31, 2014
Messages
685
Location
Colorado
Agree fully. Man up and be brave. Suicide is the coward’s way out. That may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.
This used to be my viewpoint, but after losing a couple family members to suicide, it has changed. My own dad committed suicide after 35+ years of chronic pain, multiple surgeries, and cycling on-and-off of pain killers. He got a diagnosis that lung cancer was coming back a couple months before he died and didn't want to deal with everything again at the age of 60 and had exhausted all medical treatment options. It was a difficult time in my life, and I wouldn't wish losing your dad upon anyone, but I can empathize with his situation and understand why he did what he did.

I did lose a couple friends to suicide in high school and college based on bad break-ups, girlfriends cheating, etc. that seem like the end of the world when you're 18, and totally agree it's important to talk to your kids/friends about this as it is a tragic reason to commit suicide and loss of life at such a young age.

I'm rambling but just wanted to say I see reasons for committing suicide as more of a gray area now. It's still a tragic loss that is tough on friends/family, and it's important to reach out for support and make sure people know what you're going through, so they can at least try to help. But I don't see it as black-and-white as a cowards way out anymore and try to be more empathetic to people who have lost loved ones to suicide.
 
OP
Loo.wii

Loo.wii

WKR
Joined
Sep 23, 2022
Messages
631
Thank you for this! Going to make sure I reach out to friends today

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Yeah dude do that asap. I was planning to call my buddy the week he died. I picked up the phone to call him and my friend called me and told me he died.
 
OP
Loo.wii

Loo.wii

WKR
Joined
Sep 23, 2022
Messages
631
This used to be my viewpoint, but after losing a couple family members to suicide, it has changed. My own dad committed suicide after 35+ years of chronic pain, multiple surgeries, and cycling on-and-off of pain killers. He got a diagnosis that lung cancer was coming back a couple months before he died and didn't want to deal with everything again at the age of 60 and had exhausted all medical treatment options. It was a difficult time in my life, and I wouldn't wish losing your dad upon anyone, but I can empathize with his situation and understand why he did what he did.

I did lose a couple friends to suicide in high school and college based on bad break-ups, girlfriends cheating, etc. that seem like the end of the world when you're 18, and totally agree it's important to talk to your kids/friends about this as it is a tragic reason to commit suicide and loss of life at such a young age.

I'm rambling but just wanted to say I see reasons for committing suicide as more of a gray area now. It's still a tragic loss that is tough on friends/family, and it's important to reach out for support and make sure people know what you're going through, so they can at least try to help. But I don't see it as black-and-white as a cowards way out anymore and try to be more empathetic to people who have lost loved ones to suicide.

I’ve noticed that suicide is almost hereditary. Before my friend died he had shared that both his father and grandfather committed suicide. He took the same path, leaving 2 daughters behind and honestly i fear that they may do the same at some point.
 

BTLowry

FNG
Joined
Aug 31, 2018
Messages
66
Location
Texas
Its almost the eve of the rok's favorite time of the year, unfortunately September is also suicide prevention month. This year I've had not one, but 2 friends take their own lives, I've been unfortunate enough to have to had to deal with this 6 times. In both recent cases I had spoken with them shortly before their life ended. I felt an extreme sense of guilt that I could have done something to prevent their lives from ending so abruptly. Both young men, one I met in the service and the other was an extremely talented athlete who made it to the olympic trials as a marathon runner a few years ago.

I say all this, to highlight the endemic nature of suicide, specifically in men, especially as the days get shorter, and holidays that may exacerbate feelings of loneliness.

Call your friends, be kind to strangers, and don't wait till a funeral to share kind words about your friends.

Great reminder

Fortunate that I have not had anyone I know take their own life and hope it stays that way
 
Joined
Jul 31, 2014
Messages
685
Location
Colorado
I’ve noticed that suicide is almost hereditary. Before my friend died he had shared that both his father and grandfather committed suicide. He took the same path, leaving 2 daughters behind and honestly i fear that they may do the same at some point.
Looks like the U of U published a big study in 2023 that does show 30-55% heritability of suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/10.1176/appi.ajp.21121266

I'm sorry for your loss of your friend, and I'm sure his wife and daughters are devastated. I hope you all can find comfort with each other in this time of grief, and hopefully it at least offers a chance to discuss suicide and the impacts it has on loved ones.
 

Yoder

WKR
Joined
Jan 12, 2021
Messages
1,546
Faith, exercise and diet are a good place to start. Next, I would put therapists, and the last resort would be a psychiatrist. Psych doctors are almost completely useless. They talk to you for 10 minutes and prescribe you something. If it doesn't work, you'll be on three different meds in six months.

A family member of mine tried ketamine infusion treatments and it was absolutely life changing. There are clinics all over. We also looked into a site called mindbloom. I heard about it on the Shawn Ryan show. It's a lot cheaper than infusions and the ship a single dose to your house. I think it's a nasal spray, not sure. They seemed legit. Very helpful. They actually were the ones who recommended the infusion therapy.
 
OP
Loo.wii

Loo.wii

WKR
Joined
Sep 23, 2022
Messages
631
Faith, exercise and diet are a good place to start. Next, I would put therapists, and the last resort would be a psychiatrist. Psych doctors are almost completely useless. They talk to you for 10 minutes and prescribe you something. If it doesn't work, you'll be on three different meds in six months.

A family member of mine tried ketamine infusion treatments and it was absolutely life changing. There are clinics all over. We also looked into a site called mindbloom. I heard about it on the Shawn Ryan show. It's a lot cheaper than infusions and the ship a single dose to your house. I think it's a nasal spray, not sure. They seemed legit. Very helpful. They actually were the ones who recommended the infusion therapy.
I agree. I personally am a godless heathen and plan on keeping it that way but I understand the place of faith in hard times.

I think broadly therapists are great and I would argue that church in the traditional sense can provide that. Priests etc.

Dude I had some sleeping issues and I got prescribed an antidepressant that had a side effect of sleeping and I had the worst reaction. You could have pushed me out of a building and i wouldn’t have cared. IMO antidepressants aren’t it.

I have heard K therapy is extremely beneficial.
 

Yoder

WKR
Joined
Jan 12, 2021
Messages
1,546
I agree. I personally am a godless heathen and plan on keeping it that way but I understand the place of faith in hard times.

I think broadly therapists are great and I would argue that church in the traditional sense can provide that. Priests etc.

Dude I had some sleeping issues and I got prescribed an antidepressant that had a side effect of sleeping and I had the worst reaction. You could have pushed me out of a building and i wouldn’t have cared. IMO antidepressants aren’t it.

I have heard K therapy is extremely beneficial.
Even if you don't believe, the Bible is an amazing source of wisdom. So many people disregard it as primitive people believing in magic. It's full of broken people just like us.
 
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