So, in the interest of full disclosure and maybe to give everyone a better insight into why bucks get to me far more than doe do, I'm going to lay out a condensed timeline of my hunting career.
1987, I'm 12. A forked horn whitetail crests the hillside and turns. I've got the rifle up and on him almost instantly. My dad is whispering "shoot him" in my ear. I freeze, forget to pull the trigger and he trots off.
2011, I get my second opportunity to shoot at a buck, this time with a bow. I miss low because I have no idea how much larger a buck is than a doe and he looks for all the world like he's 20 yards away when he's actually 30 or a little more.
I need to make it very clear that Pennsylvania is not a draw state. We get a buck tag every year and doe tags are easy to get. I have only missed one deer season in my life and that was the 2022 deer season and it was due to a serious injury that kept me from doing anything.
In 2020, 33 years after that first buck, a friend invited me to their place and pushed a buck in front of me. I used the exact same rifle I had that day. I was strangely calm and can remember thinking "1 2 3. 3 points. Legal buck. Ok. Vitals behind a tree. Wait. Safe off. Clear. Squeeze." And the deer didn't run 50 yards.
Last season, I had an 8 point (eastern count) come in during archery. I do remember having the presence of mind to talk to myself. "OK. Legal buck. Ok. KILL THIS DEER. Head behind a tree. DRAW!. Anchor. Solid. Ok. Wait. Wait. Vitals clear. Settle the pin. Hold low for the drop. And pull, pull, pull pullpullpull" I was NOT As calm and collected as I was with the rifle, but I had some ability and didn't completely black out.
What I failed to do was set my sights correctly for the range, so I shot a 20 yard pin for a 27 yard deer.
So, there. That's my story. A buck, getting a buck is so important because it's something I haven't done. Or maybe I feel like it's something I haven't completely earned having had the only one I've tagged basically served up on a platter.
I cannot really relate. You have hunted a lot more than me and I there is a lot that built to this. The closest I can come is I developed a studder for a short time in a high stress environment, such things are odd and complex. Below is just a bunch of ideas to help you find a creative solution that works for you.
If time allows, work on seeing bucks int he off season, make a point of getting out and getting into positions that would enable a kill. Make it is close to feeling like hunting as you can, but build confidence that you can put in the work and get on a buck.
This will not work for everyone, but try to make a mental commitment that you will not let an arrow fly unless you have taken your time on the shot process and done it right. It is better to let one walk, than to rush it and miss. One puts your psychologically in control, the other makes you controlled by the environment. The closest I can get to your situation is comparing to situations I have been in were serious bodily harm or death was a real possibility, I look at it this way, if I'm going to die, I'm going to at lease me in control of myself until the end.
You can also try to simplify your set up. This really depends on the person, but having to remember to dial a sight before shooting close in is not my cup of tea, I prefer fixed pins. Of course, you can still use the wrong pin, so not fool proof.
Practicing at speed and under time pressure with variable range targets could help. The time pressure can help the shot process become automatic. Have small penalties for missing time or target, something that sucks, but is not too bad. Say a round of push-ups to failure. This will create a snowball in that practice session as each failure will make subsequent failure more likely. After 3-5 failures in a row, end the timed session and get some controlled and successful shots off. Then repeat the next day. For some people the type of training could create problems, so you have to know yourself.
You can film shot sequences under pressure, then review them and work on anything that is not right.
A physical exercise induced increased heart rate does not have the same effect as a stress induced increased heart rate. Box breathing, voice control, and deep breathing will control heart rate under stress; those do nothing for a heart rate induced by running as the system driving the increased heart rate is different.
I have to agree with this
You are very likely thinking about killing the buck rather than executing the shot.
Please don’t be offended, but you are lacking the mental discipline to be present in the moment and do what you need to do. You are thinking of the outcome and not the process, and in doing so neglecting what matters most.
You’ve already given yourself the out in that “I suck and I’ll never be as good as them “. You’ve justified why it’s okay to let arrows go that aren’t perfect.
You say you can execute a shot sequence in demand, but is that a perfect shot sequence every time or is “good enough just good enough”.
In the end, how you approach this problem depends on your underlying philosophy of life. Do you believe in Determinism (we are just a complex machine that reacts to stimuli and have no control) or Free Will (we are in complete control at all times and outside factors have no influence), or something in between. I'm an inbetweener because both Free Will and Determinism fail to explain reality. In the setting of duress, Free Will predominately exists in the time before stimuli and after, but when under duress, our actions are largely determined and we have surprisingly little control. Put differently, no one rises to the occasion, we all sink to the level of our training and preparation. Our thought process and how we frame the situation is itself part of that preparation.