Quitting Alcohol

[KenLee]

Good on ya for taking the plunge!! Quitting alcohol is like anything else you learn to do. The more you do it (don't drink) the better you get at it!! One thing I started doing early on is reframing how I thought about it. I started telling myself and others, "I don't drink", not "I quit drinking" or "I gave it up". Words have power!! I still have triggers to drink. Firing up the grill is the worst one for me. I just started drinking seltzer water like Bubly or LaCroix to help with the itch to drink. They have enough bite to em to curb the cravings. N/A beers just didn't do it for me. Too similar to real beer... just made it worse. lol... Good luck in the quest! You can do it!!

I think hours at a grill is harder than being at a bar for hours without drinking.

 

[LFC911]

Any advice from the guys that struggled quitting because of being a "functional alcoholic"? I am one who definitely drinks well more than one should, but never hit that rock bottom. Seems like a dumb question with a simple answer. Hoping some one that understands that mindset could shoot me straight.

A good friend of mine told me "you can't out train a bad diet", which hit home in my case. I was just at the point that I've abused my body for the last 30+ years and wanted to see if I could really quit or if this thing was going to rule me for the rest of my life. It is a month today and like others have said it is day by day, some times minute by minute. I have kept a calendar since I quit where i marked every day w/o alcohol, now i use it to mark everyday I've worked out...this week I've only missed one day. I sleep better, I know I'm a better person for my family, don't have to worry about getting a DUI or killing someone, should live longer and be able to hunt elk/hike longer...just a few reasons for me. Good luck in your journey!

 

[KenLee]

Any advice from the guys that struggled quitting because of being a "functional alcoholic"? I am one who definitely drinks well more than one should, but never hit that rock bottom. Seems like a dumb question with a simple answer. Hoping some one that understands that mindset could shoot me straight.

Don't look for reasons or excuses to drink.
I was completely functional before I started having unrelated (mostly) health issues.
The required meds multiply the effects of alcohol, and started making me non functional on many weekends. Losing some of my physical abilities made me want to drink more. Newfound depression, frustration, boredom, whatever you want to label it. Alcohol only amplifies the first 2.
My advice to you is to stop while you're healthy. It's easier.

 

[ODB]

Any advice from the guys that struggled quitting because of being a "functional alcoholic"? I am one who definitely drinks well more than one should, but never hit that rock bottom. Seems like a dumb question with a simple answer. Hoping some one that understands that mindset could shoot me straight.

Yes. Here is my advice: stop drinking for ONE month. You will find at about week three the bottom will come rushing up at you when you find yourself reaching for a drink and it seems like someone else is controlling your hand. Your alcohol brain will try to convince your sober brain that it’s just one drink, it’s with dinner, it’s a weekend, it’s hot, it’s just beer, it’s just wine, and that you can stop again tomorrow.

That’s when you will know you’ve been at the bottom for a long time and never realized it. Best of luck to you.

 

[schmalzy]

Any advice from the guys that struggled quitting because of being a "functional alcoholic"? I am one who definitely drinks well more than one should, but never hit that rock bottom. Seems like a dumb question with a simple answer. Hoping some one that understands that mindset could shoot me straight.

Yep, happy to discuss in as much detail as you want. Essentially, I had to make the decision was mediocrity and living so close to the edge of trouble worth it. With that, a couple small factors changing, one too many beers so to say, can be the catalyst to a painful rock bottom.

May not be a perfect and clear answer, but happy to talk about it as much as you want.


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[ODB]

At the risk of being too talkative, let me relay an excellent reason to get a stay sober: your parents.

Whether we want to or not, there is a great likelihood that you will need to spend a great deal of time in your mid-years dealing with aging parents, and it will take all your energy to deal with the complications of elder care. My mom has severe dementia and in care, and my dad is over there all the time every day. We are heavily involved in their care, finances, dealing with various government agencies and in general trying to stay above water mentally.

Might sound like a moment to have a drink, but you need all your faculties to make the best decisions.

 

[Customweld]

At the risk of being too talkative, let me relay an excellent reason to get a stay sober: your parents.

Whether we want to or not, there is a great likelihood that you will need to spend a great deal of time in your mid-years dealing with aging parents, and it will take all your energy to deal with the complications of elder care. My mom has severe dementia and in care, and my dad is over there all the time every day. We are heavily involved in their care, finances, dealing with various government agencies and in general trying to stay above water mentally.

Might sound like a moment to have a drink, but you need all your faculties to make the best decisions.

Man, Jimmy Buffett sure hit the nail on the head when he said "growing old ain't for sissies". I kinda miss the days when I thought about 5 minutes in front of myself.

 

[CRJR45]

Any advice from the guys that struggled quitting because of being a "functional alcoholic"? I am one who definitely drinks well more than one should, but never hit that rock bottom. Seems like a dumb question with a simple answer. Hoping some one that understands that mindset could shoot me straight.

Please don't take offense to what I or anybody says in response and welcome to the group . And I can only reply from my experiences , but you say "more than you should" , and to me that implies you know you are drinking to excess .
I , when I was young , used alcohol as a release , at first . Bad day at work , woman troubles , whatever , I would drink to get loose or relaxed . I had other methods of release , but alcohol was the easiest .
Then it became my only form of release , half pint at lunch , case of beer for Fridays night , unless I went to the bar , drinking all weekend , and on Mondays start all over .
I too got to the point of thinking I should stop , and tried , but didn't . Then I started getting in trouble , DUI's , and fighting .
My rock bottom was all alone in a rental house , no license and no friends or family .
So I had to quit , or go risk going away for a long time . So I quit , it sucked at first , but got better fast . That was 32 years ago and still getting better .
My point is , I wished I had quit before I hit rock bottom , but either way I'm glad I quit .
Rock bottom is there waiting for you , but why go there ? Get it under control NOW . Please .
Hitting rock bottom could be too late .
If you or anybody needs to chat , shoot me a PM , I'll send you my cell # .
I might not have the answers you need , but I will listen while you figure it out .

 

[Johnboy041586]

The positive replies are much appreciated. I've read through this whole thread. It has definitely help give me the last push I need to get back on track. I'll post an update in the future.

 

[survivalistd]

The positive replies are much appreciated. I've read through this whole thread. It has definitely help give me the last push I need to get back on track. I'll post an update in the future.

You'll make it brother. Get hobbies and things to do it helps pass the time and take your mind off of it. A much better life without alcohol.

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[schmalzy]

You'll make it brother. Get hobbies and things to do it helps pass the time and take your mind off of it. A much better life without alcohol.

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Well said. A brand new world awaits, with infinite possibilities of cool new adventures and experiences, not to mention the 99.9% chance that every important relationship you have will improve.


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[Yoder]

Any advice from the guys that struggled quitting because of being a "functional alcoholic"? I am one who definitely drinks well more than one should, but never hit that rock bottom. Seems like a dumb question with a simple answer. Hoping some one that understands that mindset could shoot me straight.

I struggled with the same thing for probably 20 years. I drank about 5 days a week 4-6 beers a night. Never missed work. My ex must have told me 100x I drank too much. My kids even joked about it. Unless something really bad happens, it's tough to realize it's a problem. Two biggest things, Is your wife telling you that you drink too much, and do you wonder if you have a problem? People who don't have a problem don't lie awake at night thinking about it. Here's something else, do you make justifications to drink? Good day, bad day, worked hard, need to relax, celebrate..... I always found a reason.

 

[survivalistd]

Well said. A brand new world awaits, with infinite possibilities of cool new adventures and experiences, not to mention the 99.9% chance that every important relationship you have will improve.


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Agreed on the relationships we have destroyed or distanced from ourselves. Everything comes full circle without drinking.

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[hunt1up]

I was with a coworker of mine on a work trip last September who I know well and respect. He’s in his mid 60s, me in my late 30s. I was about a month into being sober and we were talking about it. I told him I was a functional alcoholic. He said he has a friend who quit drinking years ago who said, “A functional alcoholic is just an alcoholic with a job.” That stuck with me since.

While I got through life pretty successfully while drinking I cut a lot of corners because of it. I’d cut elk hunts short cuz there was beer at camp, sleep in during deer season here and there cuz I was too tired from drinking the night before. My kids would want to do something fun and I’d have to tell them I was tired(hungover). Functional maybe, but not highly functional whatsoever. The amount of energy and ambition I have now is a night and day difference. It’s not even comparable.

 

[schmalzy]

I was with a coworker of mine on a work trip last September who I know well and respect. He’s in his mid 60s, me in my late 30s. I was about a month into being sober and we were talking about it. I told him I was a functional alcoholic. He said he has a friend who quit drinking years ago who said, “A functional alcoholic is just an alcoholic with a job.” That stuck with me since.

While I got through life pretty successfully while drinking I cut a lot of corners because of it. I’d cut elk hunts short cuz there was beer at camp, sleep in during deer season here and there cuz I was too tired from drinking the night before. My kids would want to do something fun and I’d have to tell them I was tired(hungover). Functional maybe, but not highly functional whatsoever. The amount of energy and ambition I have now is a night and day difference. It’s not even comparable.

Another great post. Very well said!

Not to be a cheerleader or whatever, but man I am excited for you and the new life you’re living. Don’t look back.


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[hunt1up]

Another great post. Very well said!

Not to be a cheerleader or whatever, but man I am excited for you and the new life you’re living. Don’t look back.


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Hey, cheer away. I’ll take it!

There’s no looking back for me. I’m routinely reminded that I made the right decision when I’m around my friends who drink as much as I did. I had the initial fear of missing out but that subsided much quicker and easier than I’d expected. For anyone else that’s apprehensive about that I can assure you it’s purely mental. You won’t miss a thing.

When I look back on how much I thought I needed alcohol I feel really stupid. And honestly I don’t want to lose that feeling. It’s a good reminder.

 

[lak2004]

Hey, cheer away. I’ll take it!

There’s no looking back for me. I’m routinely reminded that I made the right decision when I’m around my friends who drink as much as I did. I had the initial fear of missing out but that subsided much quicker and easier than I’d expected. For anyone else that’s apprehensive about that I can assure you it’s purely mental. You won’t miss a thing.

When I look back on how much I thought I needed alcohol I feel really stupid. And honestly I don’t want to lose that feeling. It’s a good reminder.

I agree whole heartedly. I thought I needed to drink to be social, now I'm the one who leaves, goes to bed and wakes up feeling good rather than like crap like my buddies. Doesn't bother me if they have drinks, I just bring bubbly water or some NAs to have while we are hanging out. I feel better everyday I don't have a drink and it gets easier to see how it was negatively affecting me and my relationships. It definitely helps to have some friends who don't drink too. My wife and I have a couple friend that the gal was like me and has quit for almost a year. We got to share stories this weekend and it was nice to know I wasn't alone.

 

[Kilboars]

And how about the money we’re saving?

It’s always a shock when I get the bill and how much less our meals actually costs when you don’t add on drinks and wine.


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[lak2004]

And how about the money we’re saving?

It’s always a shock when I get the bill and how much less our meals actually costs when you don’t add on drinks and wine.


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Right!? I can't believe how much I've saved over 2 months.

 

[hunt1up]

And how about the money we’re saving?

It’s always a shock when I get the bill and how much less our meals actually costs when you don’t add on drinks and wine.


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My problem is I use it to justify buying stuff with the wife, lol. "This gun was basically free."