On being a flake

[JeffRaines]

Guys, I’ve gotta be honest. I’ve been looking for a hunting partner forever and man, I don’t know if it’s a northwest thing, a hunting thing, or it’s just an adult thing in general but people are hardcore flakes.

I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve made plans with someone, only for them to disappear the day before, and pop back up a week or two later. Case in point - I made plans with a guy that’s been talking about elk hunting with me to go into the mountains and go fishing. Nothing too big, dude agrees and we set a weekend. I get back from being out of town, shoot him a message and I literally don’t hear from him until a week later telling me happy 4th of July and that we need to talk about elk hunting(spoiler alert - there ain’t gonna be any elk hunting because I can’t rely on you).

I get that we’re all adults - we all have stuff come up occasionally… hell I would’ve accepted “it’s too hot sorry” or “sorry I changed my mind I want to stay home this weekend” but the bullshit of not reaching out when you make this decision is childish.

Where I’m from, when you say you’re gonna be somewhere you’re there early. If you decide you don’t want to go, you let the folks know ASAP. I also don’t commit to things I don’t want to do - I say no if it doesn’t interest me or if I have other plans

I wish I could say this is the only time it’s happened or the only person it’s happened with, but it’s a thing.

Any insight on this at all?

For the record, these people aren’t members of this forum to my knowledge.

 

[CamoPirate]

I'd venture to say it's a West Coast thing, but tbh I think lately it's everyone. I just hunt solo, way more fun.

 

[KBC]

I've had some pretty comical things go down that resulted in not hunting with people so many times, or trips getting cut short that now I just go by myself. I would love to have a great friend/hunting partner to go with though but sadly I'm pretty much a loner.

 

[BBob]

It's always been a thing but the thing seems to be getting worse especially with the younger crowd. I only need a handful or less of fingers to count the people I've known or know that have been truly reliable over many decades. By truly reliable I mean from start to finish, making a plan, sticking to the plan, letting you know imediately if there's a problem with the plan, and reliable out in the field. It's not just hunting either, it's everywhere.

 

[JeffRaines]

Most of my hunting has been solo so far. I’m looking to dip my feet into archery elk in state this year and out of state next year and I’ve heard about how great it is to have a partner for calling and whatnot… at this rate I’m gonna have to pay a guide to have a partner

More likely I’ll just venture out on my own again and hope for the best.

 

[Marble]

Guys, I’ve gotta be honest. I’ve been looking for a hunting partner forever and man, I don’t know if it’s a northwest thing, a hunting thing, or it’s just an adult thing in general but people are hardcore flakes.

I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve made plans with someone, only for them to disappear the day before, and pop back up a week or two later. Case in point - I made plans with a guy that’s been talking about elk hunting with me to go into the mountains and go fishing. Nothing too big, dude agrees and we set a weekend. I get back from being out of town, shoot him a message and I literally don’t hear from him until a week later telling me happy 4th of July and that we need to talk about elk hunting(spoiler alert - there ain’t gonna be any elk hunting because I can’t rely on you).

I get that we’re all adults - we all have stuff come up occasionally… hell I would’ve accepted “it’s too hot sorry” or “sorry I changed my mind I want to stay home this weekend” but the bullshit of not reaching out when you make this decision is childish.

Where I’m from, when you say you’re gonna be somewhere you’re there early. If you decide you don’t want to go, you let the folks know ASAP. I also don’t commit to things I don’t want to do - I say no if it doesn’t interest me or if I have other plans

I wish I could say this is the only time it’s happened or the only person it’s happened with, but it’s a thing.

Any insight on this at all?

For the record, these people aren’t members of this forum to my knowledge.

Here's my thoughts as I've been through this.

Some of us are more intense and truly dedicated to our hobby, some aren't. Both are just fine. A lot of guys want people to believe they are more "hardcore" than others. But when it comes down to doing the work and dedication, they can't finish.

I have found that doing several smaller activities with potential partners will shed light on their dedication and grit to persevere to survive some of the hunts I do. I am not saying I'm a bad ass, fat from it. But I know what I want to do and not many things will stop me.


Take potential partners to archery tournaments, early morning turkey hunting, sporadic hunts that test readiness and gear prep, their punctuality (big one!) and having a good idea on their home life and money situation. Both can tank a hunt.

I wouldn't necessarily write him off. But I would tell him and let him know what my expectations are.

Lastly, just hunt solo. It's much better IMO.

Sent from my SM-G986U using Tapatalk

 

[Cliffy65]

I make all my plans solo, whether it’s around the corner or the other side of the world, but I invite others to come along.....knowing that I’ll be heading out solo 99% of the time and loving it.

 

[Desk Jockey]

I have one hunting buddy that talks a big game but between his job and his wife he comes up short. He either has to leave early or doesn’t show at all. I won’t plan big hunts around him and I assume I will be solo on the small stuff. I stopped cari g and just enjoy it when he is there and plan accordingly for wen he isnt.

 

[Clintopher]

I don’t have any friends…maybe I’m the flake.

 

[gearguywb]

It has certainly gotten worse, and not just related to hunting.

Like many here, I just plan on going alone. If someone joins me then all well and good.

 

[Wags]

I have 2 Hardcore friends that, when they are available, they are as solid & savage as they come. That said the availability has been an issue over the last few years. Which happens in life as things change. I am perfectly comfortable hunting alone and do so about 80% of the time. I hate having to cut my hunt short because people got to leave unless I know that ahead of time & can plan accordingly. I'm a duck hunter to my core and one of my buddies routinely needs to pull the plug early to get home. That irritates the crap out of me, but I get it to an extent. This year my oldest boy is old enough to shoot and is physically fit enough to join me.... he has no idea what's ahead of him.

I tore my bicep tendon this January on a solo duck hunt 2 miles from the truck. I got all my stuff back, got it loaded & got myself home. I was in surgery 2 days later and less than a week after that I was back out in the marsh still in a sling. I couldn't lift or hold a gun but I was at least able to be there, call, spot & help set decoys. Gun or not I wasn't missing the rest of the year.

 

[Oregonboy]

I've had similar experiences in fishing. Everyone's excited until the 3:30AM alarm clock goes off...

 

[Avalanche123]

Hunt solo....similar to what the OP suggests this happened too many times. Seems more prevalent these days and I hate to say it....more the norm. Commitment means very little. So..hunt solo.

 

[mtwarden]

choose your hunting partners wisely- there are only a very small handful of guys that I would hunt with, most of the time it's just me, but there are a couple of guys that I wouldn't hesitate to hunt with (or call to help pack an elk out and vice versa)

 

[Dos Perros]

I've hunted with quite a few folks once. I think just keep taking chances, you'll find a good partner eventually. I met one of my best friends (fishing and bird hunting buddy) on a forum, another at a dog park, met another at a RMEF banquet, another at a Rokslide meetup, another at a BHA event, couple more at work. In the meantime hunt solo if you must. That helps build your credibility with new folks.

 

[5MilesBack]

I make my plans and if someone wants to go.......fine, but if they don't show, no big deal as I'm going anyway.

 

[GSPHUNTER]

The handful of people I hunt or fish with have come to understand the way I do things. I won't actually invite them, I'll just say I'm going too such and such, tell them when and where, if they show up fine if not fine. I have one guy who always wants me to book multiple day offshore fishing trips with him. we have booked a few 5 day trips out of San Diego, only to have him call me at the last minute and bail out, just, I decided not to go, I say, Mike you talked me into going and now you bail on me WTF. The last trip I booked and did not tell him about it, well I get to the dock and there he is. He said why didn't you tell me you booked this trip we could have drove down together and shared a stateroom. I just told him flat out you're a flake.

 

[cnelk]

I tell em to keep up or catch up

 

[Bigcat_hunter]

Wow I feel blessed to have good hunting partners after reading this. We were all raised hunting together with our dads who all hunted together. Guess that has something to do with it.

 

[Poser]

I think it’s best to plan a scouting trip or a aggressively difficult day hike first to get a feel for them. A backcountry partnership for any pursuit (I also have partners for backcountry skiing, peak bagging and Mtn biking) should be built one brick at a time. You want to know how they handle pain, anxiety, fear, stress and discomfort of varying degrees.