Military service late in life

[HighUintas]

Have any of you decided with a strong conviction very late in life (late being relative to service age limits) that you should have served in the military when you were younger and absolutely would at your current age if your family situation was different?

I'm at 37, have a 2 year old daughter, two teenage step sons, and wife. My wife can't move anywhere out of town until the 15 year old is out of high school due to their divorce decree. Regardless of the divorce decree, it is extremely likely that my wife would not move with me to wherever I would be stationed... Unless it happened to be one of a few select states. And, she would not be ok with moving to a different station every couple of years with having a young daughter.

I have always felt the need and desire to serve in the military to do my part and gain invaluable experience and training. I've always been interested in the Army Rangers and SF. Being young, dumb, and unsure of life for a long time prevented me from pursuing that.

I have a degree, a very good professional career, I'm a great team leader, handle stress well, I'm in great shape and would have no issues with training, and I'm absolutely certain I would make it through selection and training with no issues, barring a serious injury.

Having the discussion with my wife, she said she fully supports me pursuing whatever I want to do in a career if it will make me happy and is something I really want to do. However, she wouldn't be moving to most of the places those groups are stationed. I'd very likely be living alone for a long time, missing a lot of my daughter growing up.

Well, I don't think I could miss that much of my girls' lives, and I don't think I could do that to either of them. It is much better for my family to not pursue that.

However, the Utah Army National Guard is still an option with a waiver, so long as I'd be able to stay in my current location, but haven't looked deeply into that yet. There is also the option of going in as a CO with a needed MOS, but I'm not sure on the specifics of age waivers for that or if I'd be likely to be stationed in some random place without choice.

I'm not necessarily looking for answers, just a discussion. Have any of you found yourselves in this type of scenario?

 

[ReaptheHeat]

Blink twice if you need rescued...

On a serious note, Joining as enlisted at 37 with a degree is going to be a culture shock. Also, going through RASP and staying in Bat and/or SFAS is a tough, high paced lifestyle. I'm not saying its impossible, but its definitely a young man's game.

You sound like a successful guy with kids. Just be prepared to be treated like a child and given orders by people 15 years younger than you that would use a screwdriver for a hammer.

If you are looking to scratch that itch, go with NG or Reserves. Keep your career and be there for your family as best you can.

 

[TandKHunting]

If you wife isn't willing to move, I think Active Duty would be nearly impossible in your situation.

If you have the itch, I would definitely go Army NG. You can keep your good day job, keep your marriage healthy, and be there for your kids...while still serving your country. It's a win win for all.

 

[Roguemountainhunter]

I retire in 2 months after a 24 year career in the Army, much of my time spent in SOF. I can provided some insight off line if you would like to discuss. I also have friends in UT NG SOF units. Send me a PM.

 

[HighUintas]

Blink twice if you need rescued...

On a serious note, Joining as enlisted at 37 with a degree is going to be a culture shock. Also, going through RASP and staying in Bat and/or SFAS is a tough, high paced lifestyle. I'm not saying its impossible, but its definitely a young man's game.

You sound like a successful guy with kids. Just be prepared to be treated like a child and given orders by people 15 years younger than you that would use a screwdriver for a hammer.

If you are looking to scratch that itch, go with NG or Reserves. Keep your career and be there for your family as best you can.

Yes, absolutely a young man's game. I would expect to be treated no differently than any other enlisted man until I prove myself, which is part of the draw for me. And... No kidding... When I called a recruiter to ask about getting a discussion opened, he asked me all the questions that are likely typical disqualifiers and asked about myself a bit, and seemed dumbfounded I was calling.

If you wife isn't willing to move, I think Active Duty would be nearly impossible in your situation.

If you have the itch, I would definitely go Army NG. You can keep your good day job, keep your marriage healthy, and be there for your kids...while still serving your country. It's a win win for all.

Yes, the Guard would be much better for my family.

 

[DenimChicken]

You listed a whole bunch of reasons/excuses why people don’t join. They are very real concerns and a big thing that prevents people from joining. Are you really interested in joining, or regretting that you didn’t?

You might be in great shape and think you’re a great leader but it might not be as easy as you think. Like someone else mentioned, the smartest way to do something typically isn’t the way it’s done in the military. As a successful almost 40 year old, it could be a tough pill to swallow. I was a bit aimless in my youth and enlisted in my mid 20’s. Best decision I made but I can’t imagine joining in my late 30’s.

 

[HighUintas]

You listed a whole bunch of reasons/excuses why people don’t join. They are very real concerns and a big thing that prevents people from joining. Are you really interested in joining, or regretting that you didn’t?

You might be in great shape and think you’re a great leader but it might not be as easy as you think. Like someone else mentioned, the smartest way to do something typically isn’t the way it’s done in the military. As a successful almost 40 year old, it could be a tough pill to swallow. I was a bit aimless in my youth and enlisted in my mid 20’s. Best decision I made but I can’t imagine joining in my late 30’s.

I am interested in joining, if possible. I didn't get it into my extremely long story above, but the first hurdle I'd need to jump is an eye issue. It may be a disqualifier, but could also be waiverable. I haven't figured that out yet. IF that doesn't disqualify me, I'd likely be looking at NG to be able to serve and be with my family.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think it'd be easy and the historical odds are probably not in my favor one bit.

 

[KBC]

Your 2 year old daughter is more important than your career.
I've had similar thoughts and I also work in an industry I could easily take a touring job that pays a lot more, but at the end of the day, your kids are more important.
There are many places you could do things that serve your Family, Community and Country that are close to home. Volunteer for those things and take comfort in the fact you are also there for your family.

 

[Rokbar]

If the itch is that bad I'd go NG or reserves in the closest infantry unit to you. With the right pull of higher ups you could possibly get a Ranger school slot. I wouldn't think it would be impossible. But be ready to be called Pops.

 

[Nick Muche]

I am your age, been serving since I was 18, can't wait to be done

But... It's been the best ride ever for me.

In short, I can't imagine joining at 37.

 

[wavygravy]

Sounds like you're having a mid life crisis there, you sure a fast car wouldn't help? I just spent 1.5 months away from my family for work, it sucks.

 

[timekiller13]

I joined at 27. Got out as soon as my contract was up.

It’s not what you think it is.

Am I glad I did it? Yes. Would I do it again. Absolutely not.

 

[sconnieVLP]

Based on what you described as your life situation, AD is absolutely out from both a lifestyle and pay perspective - particularly if you’re coming in enlisted. Check out the DoD pay scales for an E-3 and see if you think you’d like to support a family on that paycheck. I’ve had troops do it, but it’s not pleasant.

If you’re absolutely set on it, then NG is probably the way. Realize that you will be 20 years older than the kids (and I mean that) you’d be going through training with. I echo what is said about it being a young man’s game - I’m 33 and I’m an old guy by now. Much of the life, particularly in the jobs you are interested in, are NOT easy on your body. You’ll also end up working for someone who is maybe 15 years younger than you when you finish training, and age peers are all going to be SNCOs and FGOs. It’s going to be weird and regardless what you think now, not something you’re likely going to understand until you’re in it.

Also know that at the onset of your training, even if you join the NG, you will be away from your family for months. Don’t really care to go into details here, but my personal life is pretty screwed up because of my job and years of a pretty brutal ops tempo (I’m AD though). There are lots of things I love about what I do, but there are a lot of times where I wonder why I did this at all.

 

[Roosterstraw]

I have a lot of respect for the men and women who serve in the military. The older I get the more I see the corruption and lack of leadership. Go listen to Shawn Ryan Show to see how incompetent some of our top leadership is. No way I would serve under them.

 

[Yarak]

With thing heating up around the world even in the NG/Reserves you can pretty much count on being sent to some conflict but then thats what serving is about
I served under 3 presidents and I can tell you things were much better with every facet of military life when there was a R along with their name
Think long and hard about this

 

[TheGrayRider]

Thank you for your patriotism. Also consider joining your local police department or fire department as a reserve officer at your age and family situation. I would think long and hard about active or reserve military training and service with a wife and young kid. Google military divorce rates. Knowledge is power. Happy hunting, The Grayrider.

 

[BravoNovember]

I had regretted not serving and ended up in the NG at 25, a compromise so my wife and I didn't have to move or give up our careers.

Ask yourself if getting yelled at by an NCO who is younger than you and still living at home about the proper way to sweep and mop a floor is something your up for?

All jokes aside. I wanted to go do cool guy stuff, but after getting to my unit, the wind was quickly let out of my sails. Been out for 2 years and have a 2 year old daughter. I couldn't imagine going on a deployment and leaving her. I would highly recommend thing long and hard about what you are wanting out of service and ask others their experiences and see how they line up.

At 37 with no prior service you are past the age limit for SF. May be wavers, that's a question for a recruiter.

 

[2531usmc]

Joining the Marine Corps at 18 was the best thing I could have done with my life at that point in time. And I’m glad that I did it; it gave me a chance to grow up and figure out what life was all about.

But any fantasies I had about military life evaporated on the third day of boot camp as my squad was assigned to clean the platoon urinal!

 

[DenimChicken]

Lots of good comments so far. I recommend you read them and give some more thought to your decision. If you have been dissuaded, no harm no foul. If you're still interested, go and talk to a recruiter immediately before you time out of anything else. For your situation, I think Reserve or Guard is the way to go.

 

[sodaksooner]

If you have a degree, whatever service you choose, go the officer route. Not that it is easier (which in some cases it is) but pay is better and at 37 you have already probably built some leadership skills. I will say that when I was a 22 year old 2nd Lieutenant in the Marines, we had some mid to late 30's prior enlisted Mustangs that struggled physically to keep up. Just saying you should really think long and hard about any special forces type gigs as that is a young mans game. 37 is old in military terms. I am 56 now and have a HS buddy that was full time SDNG(South Dakota) his entire career. Just retired as a full bird Colonel after starting as an enlisted guy when we were still in HS. Lived his entire career in our hometown, did a few deployments, and gets a FULL pension and is loving life.