Men’s Mental Health Challenge

[lyle_destroys]

It’s tough being a man in today’s world. It’s easy to beat ourselves up and bring ourselves down, often forgetting what we have to appreciate. I’m going to update and bump this thread at least weekly, my plan is to state something I’m thankful for and maybe sometimes things I struggle with.
This can be an open forum for discussion, an outlet, a place to vent or my main intent; remind ourselves that no matter how dark life seems to be, we can brighten it up together.

I went squirrel hunting a few weeks ago and ran into a couple guys that invited myself and kids to tag along on the youth pheasant opener. I’m still pretty new to the area, I’m thankful for this.

Guys, tell me something you have to live for, something you appreciate. Struggling with life? A relationship? Kids? Work? You’re not alone, lots of us are so let’s talk about it. Need someone to talk to? PM me.

 

[Jsmalls273]

Good topic sir. It is tough being a man in today's world of high prices and dangerous people. I try my best to provide for my family, protect my family and be a good dad, step dad and husband. Things pull us in all different directions so ya gotta figure out the good routes to take and stick to them. Though I work over 100 hours a week between jobs, I thank God that I have the opportunity to have those 2 jobs and provide for my family. Living is so damn expensive now.

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[Yoder]

I wrote a long woe is me reply initially. I read it and it made me want to puke. I was super depressed this year. I felt pretty empty and hopeless. Why??? What is wrong with me? I have a good paying job, a beautiful wife that is awesome. My oldest son just hit two years sober and started going to school to be a mechanic. (I get on my knees and thank God for that.) I have enough saved up to pay off my house. All of our health is good. Things are just way different than I expected they would be. I'm learning to stop trying to control everything and leave it up to God. I still have to be smart and prepare for the future but it's not up to me how things end up. I really need to be more grateful. So many people are struggling right now. My problems are pretty insignificant.

 

[Rotnguns]

"I really need to be more grateful. So many people are struggling right now. My problems are pretty insignificant."

Well said, and words to abide by. I try to remind myself of this every time I get frustrated about something. I volunteer at a food bank once a week and we see people literally living in their cars with dogs and kids. Puts it in perspective when I forget to take out the garbage or buy mustard at the store.

 

[DenverCountryBoy]

An easy an affective way to develop a grateful attitude is to change just one word. Instead of saying or thinking "I have to...", say "I get to..."

I get to go to work Monday.

I get to pay our mortgage and vehicle payments.

I get to take my son to football practice.

I get to fix stuff at home this weekend.

I get to take my family to mass this evening, then come back home for leftover pizza and family movie night part II.

 

[lyle_destroys]

Good topic sir. It is tough being a man in today's world of high prices and dangerous people. I try my best to provide for my family, protect my family and be a good dad, step dad and husband. Things pull us in all different directions so ya gotta figure out the good routes to take and stick to them. Though I work over 100 hours a week between jobs, I thank God that I have the opportunity to have those 2 jobs and provide for my family. Living is so damn expensive now.

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I’m right there beside you brother. Kids, stepkids (still my damn kids), work, trying to find time and money to spend with my beautiful woman and myself. It piles up. I’m proud of you man.

 

[lyle_destroys]

I wrote a long woe is me reply initially. I read it and it made me want to puke. I was super depressed this year. I felt pretty empty and hopeless. Why??? What is wrong with me? I have a good paying job, a beautiful wife that is awesome. My oldest son just hit two years sober and started going to school to be a mechanic. (I get on my knees and thank God for that.) I have enough saved up to pay off my house. All of our health is good. Things are just way different than I expected they would be. I'm learning to stop trying to control everything and leave it up to God. I still have to be smart and prepare for the future but it's not up to me how things end up. I really need to be more grateful. So many people are struggling right now. My problems are pretty insignificant.

That’s the big question, why? Why do I feel like this? I’ve been to countries that are absolutely horrible, I don’t have to live anything like that. But a lot of the time depression doesn’t have a why, it just is. It just exists and we have to find a way to mitigate that. You don’t have to tell yourself that your problems are insignificant, they’re still significant to your mental health. I’ve been focusing on things that I know help that, sometimes they don’t make me feel good in the process but they help in the long run (exercise, abstaining from drinking, getting the mundane chores done). Thanks for checking in to this thread brother.

 

[lyle_destroys]

"I really need to be more grateful. So many people are struggling right now. My problems are pretty insignificant."

Well said, and words to abide by. I try to remind myself of this every time I get frustrated about something. I volunteer at a food bank once a week and we see people literally living in their cars with dogs and kids. Puts it in perspective when I forget to take out the garbage or buy mustard at the store.

I think the trouble is that our monkey brains aren’t really wired that way, we’re wired to survive and thrive in what we are going through, sometimes it’s hard to put these things in perspective, but you make a great point. Even though it’s difficult, sometimes really taking a step back and looking around can put things into perspective.

 

[lyle_destroys]

An easy an affective way to develop a grateful attitude is to change just one word. Instead of saying or thinking "I have to...", say "I get to..."

I get to go to work Monday.

I get to pay our mortgage and vehicle payments.

I get to take my son to football practice.

I get to fix stuff at home this weekend.

I get to take my family to mass this evening, then come back home for leftover pizza and family movie night part II.

Mindset is everything! This is something I heard a long time ago, certainly helps but we have to put it into practice.

 

[MountainAddict]

Grateful to be able to own guns and other weapons and hunt on public (and private) land with friends and family. Gratitude takes practice and work, but it's not hard work.

Great post. We get so caught up in the small stuff it's hard to look at where we are in life and all the things we have to be grateful for. Thank you for the reminder to do it today!

 

[SCHUNTER73]

I feel what you guys are saying. Sometimes the grind and stress of providing for your family, being a good father and husband and also performing at work can be a lot to shoulder. At the same time, it is easy to lose focus and remember that no matter how bleak you think things may look for you, there is some one looking at you with envy.

 

[JP7]

Today, even though western Wyoming's deer population is in the gutter, the weather is unseasonably warm and unhelpful for hunting, I've gotten to go walk around in the mountains with a tag in my pocket and a weapon in my hand. I've gotten to spend time this year with people I love in places I love. Things this year haven't aligned to allow as much hunting as I'd like. But I've got a good job and I'm doing really well in school while pursuing my master's degree.

I also understand the sentiment of "I should be more grateful. My problems aren't that bad. Lot's of people are suffering." True. I need to be more grateful. I don't think any of us couldn't benefit from having more gratitude in our lives. Lot's of people are suffering. They're going through very hard things. As far as our problems, I don't think we should compare problems. There are people who could go through what any of us are struggling with and not even blink. That level of issues is as minute to them as having a cup of coffee. But there are also people who would crumble under the pressure of the issues some of us deal with on the daily. Just like in the mountains, problems, like miles, are not created equally. I hope I can encourage others to see this to not be so hard on themselves for struggling with something, whatever it is or however small it seems in comparison to what anyone else is going. We're all running our own race, some of the hurdles we clear with no issue, some we clip. I just want to join in on this and let you know that even if you yard sale over that hurdle, you can get up and keep running.

 

[socoalt]

I’ll start by saying how grateful I am for my wife and her family. I wasn’t raised in a faith based family and only had negative preconceived notions about religion. When I met her I attended an easter service and immediately felt at ease and relief from the word I was receiving. It was only through me asking questions about God and Jesus was there ever any talk about Christianity. There was no pressure from her or her family, only knowledge when I asked.

We have been married for 17 years now and had known each other for 7 before that. I have her and her family to thank for bringing me to the Lord and for their love and support. It is because of them that I am saved today. For me this has been huge for my mental health.

I don’t want to get too evangelical here so switching gears just a little I also want to say that I am grateful for rokslide and the community. The mods here are the best and keep the site productive and troll free. Also the community is all solid people who want to share knowledge and make each other better. I have gained a lot here especially with posts like this.

 

[Jsmalls273]

I’m right there beside you brother. Kids, stepkids (still my damn kids), work, trying to find time and money to spend with my beautiful woman and myself. It piles up. I’m proud of you man.

Thank you sir, definitely proud of you too. Tonight me and my wife were able to go and buy a trampoline for our girls. Now their jumping around like animals and living their best life. Makes me so happy to just be able to do things like this. Makes the 100+ hour work weeks completely worth it.

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[Jsmalls273]

I feel what you guys are saying. Sometimes the grind and stress of providing for your family, being a good father and husband and also performing at work can be a lot to shoulder. At the same time, it is easy to lose focus and remember that no matter how bleak you think things may look for you, there is some one looking at you with envy.

It is. Feels like the weight of everything just keeps stacking and it absolutely cannot be dropped. Hearing that I not the only one is so helpful. We as me. Must provide and take care of our families.

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[schmalzy]

An easy an affective way to develop a grateful attitude is to change just one word. Instead of saying or thinking "I have to...", say "I get to..."

I get to go to work Monday.

I get to pay our mortgage and vehicle payments.

I get to take my son to football practice.

I get to fix stuff at home this weekend.

I get to take my family to mass this evening, then come back home for leftover pizza and family movie night part II.

Couldn’t agree more. Well said.

On days I’m trying to be a victim I remind myself there’s a man out there that would give everything he had to give to be able to spend one second with his family.


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[COJoe]

lyle_destroys, thanks for posting this topic, it's truly relevant to us all whether we want to admit it or not. I live for serving the Lord and bringing Him all the glory I can. I state this because serving the Lord is the basis for my mental state. The closer I stay to Him, the Lord Jesus, the greater my ability is to withstand the onslaught of life and it's constant pressure to perform above others and to deal with wickedness and evil. What I appreciate is God's overwhelming grace that allows me to remain in His presence, spiritually and peacefully, after I have sinned in my struggles.

I also greatly appreciate my wife for her understanding of my desire to hunt elk. She knows this week coming up for me is so instrumental for me to be refreshed mentally and emotionally. My job has been very stressful this year with a new company taking us over. I think about what is really worth it in life and the struggle of getting paid well verses the stress level from my job that has affected my ability to handle my fits of anger. I'll feely admit that stress directly effects my emotional level and I am allowing God to help through these times. As a man, society has there expectations but I no longer care one bit what they think as I am not led by their standards. I don't do social media, Facebook or anything like that.

Earlier this year, I answered God's calling on my life to join the Chaplain core for our local police department and it's been such a blessing and source of peace. I greatly enjoy talking and helping all those who serve in this department. Once again, my wife has been awesome in supporting me in this service. Being there for other people is so needed in this society now. I am praying for an open door to go full time in this and to leave my dependence on my job and the harmful stresses there. My job is fulfilling though because I can troubleshoot and repair systems at work that help others do their job better.

Rokslide has been a wonderful resource for me in more ways than I could have thought of, so I appreciate you all, even if we don't agree on everything. I use Rokslide as a source of relaxation (and sometimes entertainment) after work. I prepared for my hunt this year based upon many recommendations and warnings from you all so it's up to me to do the rest. My hunting buddy and brother in the Lord is up from Texas and is staying with my wife and I so I also appreciate him and his willingness to show me what he's learned in his hunting experiences. Staying strong as men in this current society is a great challenge for sure but it's who we are and we need to learn the proper boundaries of it to lead our families well. I also am willing to talk with anyone if you want to PM me. See ya on the mountains.

 

[Rich M]

I don’t have a lot of oomph for mental health. Im deaf, been dealing w chit all my life and then i meet someone w beautiful wife, good kids, and he’s having a breakdown over something.

Toughen up and understand that our families look to us to be the rock in the storm. We rely on them to help us be the rock and they rely on us.

C’mon guys. Rise to the occaision. Im deaf. BS and MBA degrees. Part owner at a mid-sized engineering company cause i just wouldnt stop. Even had 6+ coworkers try to get me fired at one point. Some had been friends.

First marriage failed cause wife was lesbian she never formally told me, marriage counselor did.
Lost everything during 2008-2010 recession.
Recently lost both of my employees of a 3 person dept at work - leaving me doing 3 workloads.
New help starts next week.

Love yer wives and kids.
Stand tall.
Aint no-one who can do as well as you at work or as a parent, manager, ministry leader, or whatever calling has been put on your life.
Own it.

You can do it says the deaf guy!

May God bless and strenthen you! To those who will receive it.