Memorable lines from grandpas

[arrow179]

After being gone on a trip (before the internet & cell phones) to get the latest on local news he would ask:
"Well, so who's wed, dead, or bred?"

 

[HDwild]

When referring to a very small increment of measurement, my Gramps used to call it "a **** hair" hahaha it's especially funny when you realize that this is the best man I had ever known and would never cuss other than this.

And the classic: "I haven't seen you since you were yay-high to a grasshopper"

 

[HDwild]

“You can go broke on good deals” and random Finnish phrases like istu istu “sit down, sit down”

I too grew up with Finnish phrases that I never understood lol but what I do understand is ALWAYS SISU

 

[Midwestwaterfowl]

Some of my dad’s that he got from his dad:
“They must own two farms” in reference to someone putting butter and jelly on the same biscuit.
Goin to some gatherings where my dads family would be at (he comes from a huge family). “Give it a half hour and you won’t be able to swing a dead cat in here without hitting a”insert last name””. When I asked him why a dead cat was a unit of measurement, he just asked “Ever tried to swing a live cat?”

 

[Big Iron]

'never stick your hand in anything you wouldn't stick your dingy in"

 

[JMDavies]

1 You can't polish a turd.
2 That like putting a necktie on a pig.
3 Health plan...plan on staying healthy
4 I'm sweating like a whore in church.
5 Question- grandpa, how did you do that? Answer- PFM (found out that PFM= pure fu%#ing magic)

 

[BackcountryBloodline]

When referring to a very small increment of measurement, my Gramps used to call it "a **** hair" hahaha it's especially funny when you realize that this is the best man I had ever known and would never cuss other than this.

And the classic: "I haven't seen you since you were yay-high to a grasshopper"

Not sure if it's considered metric or imperial but I've heard the same measurements used, only smaller measurement is "a half a **** hair!"

 

[2rocky]

When I was in 4th grade I fell on my right knee while jumping rocks on a rock pile. A few days later there I am with my knee the size of a grapefruit and can't even bend it, and he comes in and yells at me for not getting outside to help him with the work. He says "rub some dirt on it and you'll be fine.......now get out there and give me a hand".

A few days later I'm in the hospital getting treated for a major staph infection. Oh the love....LOL. Pretty sure his demeanor wore off on me. Probably why I never became a doctor......I'm pretty much like Dr. House on TV.

Ditto,

Grabbed a heifer that got out of the head catch and ran a rusty gate hinge bolt into my shin as he hollered "Hold'er!". He gave me grief for going to the house to try and clean it up...Two weeks later during football double days It's swollen and oozing...Doctor wanted to arrest him for child abuse.

10 years later he tells me to vaccinate beef heifers by tailing them up in a head catch. No squeeze chute. The high headed heifer took it until I let her tail down and she fired and caught me high on the cheek. I bled all over the rest of the heifers then got hauled into the ER for stitches.

So I'm a little distrustful of my father's stockmanship and I won't work cattle with him anymore...

 

[Tod osier]

Not sure if it's considered metric or imperial but I've heard the same measurements used, only smaller measurement is "a half a **** hair!"

There is **** hair which is small, but also red **** hair, which is even smaller...

 

[TxxAgg]

^^^ Hahah yeah I've heard it as RCH

 

[snowcamoman]

Some from various folks in my life.

1. Beauty is skin deep, but Ugly goes straight to the bone.
2. When in doubt....whip it out
3. That's so spicy, it'll put hair on yer' teeth
4. He/She's so ugly, they were slingshot fed

 

[MTElk1987]

My granddad's theory in life was "Don't look in the rearview mirror". Didn't work too well when caught the round baler on fire a few summers back.

 

[Gen273]

You could tear up a steel ball with a toothpick.

Never approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.

 

[cmwhitmoyer]

My wife's grandfather would say when he had a leg cramp, "It's tighter than a bull's ass during fly time"

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk

 

[Zeke6951]

If you are not going to use your head, you might as well have 2 butts.

 

[#1antler]

My dad's advice " Best way to lose a friend or customer is loan money or give credit"

 

[HankNM]

"They don't call it shopping!"
"We're not building a piano today"