Loneliness and Fear

rhendrix

WKR
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
2,098
I know this is one of those things that no one talks about, were all a bunch of bad asses and no one suffers from this when they're hunting, but, I watched a presentation that Marc Smith gave at the western Hunting expo in UT this year or lady and the topic of fear and loneliness came up and it struck a chord. I experienced this first hand this year, seemed like nothing was going my way and I actually was at a place where I could get decent enough phone reception to get a pep talk from you guys. Where I wanna go this year though phone reception will be spotty, and quite frankly I don't wanna have to get another pep talk from a bunch of dudes I've never met. I'd like to think i'm tougher than that (and if I'm not tough I can at least be stupid enough to believe I'm tougher than that, sometimes they're one in the same). So for those of you who are able to combat the fear and loneliness of hunting the back country for two weeks solo, how do you do it? What do you do to prepare mentally, besides all the obvious stuff like being in shape, being prepared, having a game plan, etc? What Jedi mind tricks and tips from Mr. Miyagi help you persevere? My goal is to keep me from sabotaging myself next year, I went home defeated and I'm determined to never feel like that again. Sounds ludicrous asking, but I figured of anyone could help me, you guys could.
 

LazyV

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Feb 13, 2013
Messages
195
Location
King Co WA, Purgatory adjacent
I think about the people who I served with who are gone, that normally is all the reminder I need to man up and stop whining in my head. It could be worse is the point of that, it's a blessing just to be out there. Or reminding myself how few people get to see the beautiful places we hunt in and how special it is just to be there. Fear doesn't have to be a bad thing, use it to focus your thinking and prioritizing what you need to do to succeed. Remind yourself of hard things you've done and this is simply one more to add to the list.

All that being said, hunting should be fun, know your limits and slowly expand them. Fear can come from lack of confidence in your skills so furthering your knowledge will make the fear less because you trust yourself. All that fails bring a big book and don't give your mind idle time.
 
Joined
May 29, 2012
Messages
3,474
Location
Lewiston ID
Just as with anything I visualize what its going to be like. Since you've spent one trip solo and know how you can defeat yourself mentally you are way ahead of the game. I've spent maybe only 35 nights solo in the back country so I've got enough of an idea to know what I'm in for. I know that it's all mental so I focus on what my attitude needs to be. I get pretty quiet for a day or two before the hunt focusing on just these things. Don't really get excited till I start glassing...
 

dotman

WKR
Joined
Feb 24, 2012
Messages
8,200
It has always taken me a few days to realize i'm the most dangerous thing that goes bump in the night :). It is always there and I don't discount it but I do not let fear control me. I play it safer now that I have a family and pay attention to my gut.

I have found I sleep better with ear plugs since that seems to be when you hear all the lions and bears :). The loneliness and fear seem to really manifest when it is dark out and it tis just your natural instinct to think something is after you.

All of this seems to be easier the more you do it. Truthfully I really do not get lonely when solo but I do always miss my daughter a ton.
 

LazyV

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Feb 13, 2013
Messages
195
Location
King Co WA, Purgatory adjacent
Agree with mike, visualization exercises can be hugely helpful. You've done this kind of stuff before and survived, so you have the skills to do it. There really isn't the fear of the unknown for you which can get a lot of people so concentrate on running what if's in your head before the season. I do it all the time at work and I know I've had positive resolutions on calls I've never been to simply because I had gamed them in my head before.
 
Joined
Jun 12, 2013
Messages
73
I am just getting started backpack hunting. I've been on a 5 day and 3 day solo trip this year, but I have always been alone backpacking, canoeing for several days at a time. I don't consider myself hardcore, just the opposite really, but I am comfortable being alone. For me it's simple, I trust all things to God , no need to be fearful.
 
Joined
Nov 18, 2012
Messages
97
Location
S.E. WA
I have only a few outings under my belt that lasted more than 10 days. Work and family commitments tend to limit the scope of my adventures to around 4-5 days. But when I do get out for longer excursions, it seems that Day 6-8 tend to be the hardest. Especially if things aren't going my way. What has really helped me in the past is turning off all unnecessary noise like tv, radio, etc. a least a month before the outing. It's actually much harder than it sounds. The first day of driving to work with the radio off will reinforce just how accustomed we become to background noise. Turn the cell phone to vibrate, read a book instead of the internet, workout. Anything that does not involve electronic stimulation. Obviously we still have obligations and cannot cut out all noise, but limiting it in every possible area I think puts us in a better position to deal with the solitude. Also, by the end of the second week it gets much easier to just relax without it. Obviously there are still other mental obstacles to overcome besides just this reliance on background noise and electronic stimulation. But I find that if I can cut my dependency on these things, it greatly effects the transition period from regular daily life to the solitude of the backcountry.
 

Jon Boy

WKR
Joined
May 25, 2012
Messages
1,795
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Paradise Valley, MT
Physical fitness helps me the most. If Im completely drained my mind weakens faster. If I'm cruising through the mountains with out exerting all of my energy I do just fine. Oh yah and I take a couple of Dramamine at night and I pass the hell out with out any fear of bears or the boogy man or what ever else is out there making noises haha
 

Shrek

WKR
Joined
Jul 17, 2012
Messages
7,066
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Hilliard Florida
And just plain avoid areas with grizzly bears ! Lol. All the rest of the critters didn't bother me thinking about them but once I saw the grizzly print in the mud it just wasn't as much fun.
 
OP
R

rhendrix

WKR
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
2,098
Least I'm not alone with wondering what the hell that is going bump in the night. I seriously thought a mtn lion was gonna mall me in neffs canyon, I never saw tracks, but thought I kept hearing something circle me outside. Haha.

Getting in better shape is a top priority, and I like the idea of unplugging a month out. I realized very quickly how often I'm plugged into something when I went to Utah.
 

dotman

WKR
Joined
Feb 24, 2012
Messages
8,200
Seems like most of the time what you hear are actually the f'n deer. This year in ID I swear we had 5 does around and in camp each night. My buddy told me a theory, they were licking our pee spots for salt, not sure if true or not but I have never had a deer problem like we did in ID, lol. Freakin one would hang out within 10ft, we named her Dora. One night it got really quiet and the deer left, makes you wonder what came by camp :)

Never saw a wolf or track but heard the howling a few hundred yards from camp.
 
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
5,237
Location
Colorado
This is a great thread. As a society we are generally always connected to somebody at any given time. Meetings at work, dinner at home, TV, internet and those lovely smartphones. Getting "unplugged" a month out is pure genius. I just had this very talk with another forum member. For the most part, I don't think its fear, or really even loneliness. Its boredom, plain and simple. You have no one to discuss the days events or tactics that were used and it is hard to motivate yourself to go to that next ridge. You will generally play it much safer (not that it is a bad thing) than you would if you have a partner.
 

Ramcam

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Dec 29, 2012
Messages
153
Location
British Columbia
I have only a few outings under my belt that lasted more than 10 days. Work and family commitments tend to limit the scope of my adventures to around 4-5 days. But when I do get out for longer excursions, it seems that Day 6-8 tend to be the hardest. Especially if things aren't going my way. What has really helped me in the past is turning off all unnecessary noise like tv, radio, etc. a least a month before the outing. It's actually much harder than it sounds. The first day of driving to work with the radio off will reinforce just how accustomed we become to background noise. Turn the cell phone to vibrate, read a book instead of the internet, workout. Anything that does not involve electronic stimulation. Obviously we still have obligations and cannot cut out all noise, but limiting it in every possible area I think puts us in a better position to deal with the solitude. Also, by the end of the second week it gets much easier to just relax without it. Obviously there are still other mental obstacles to overcome besides just this reliance on background noise and electronic stimulation. But I find that if I can cut my dependency on these things, it greatly effects the transition period from regular daily life to the solitude of the backcountry.

This is a good place to start.Wein yourself from the constant distractions get your mind quiet.I remember my first fliyin solo trip you could cut the silence with a knife.Good topic
 

focker34

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Feb 25, 2013
Messages
162
Location
Nevada
When I get lonely and start to get down on myself in the backcountry I listen to music and flip through pictures of my family on my iphone. Kinda brings me back down to earth and helps me refocus on the task at hand.
 

crumy

WKR
Joined
Dec 27, 2012
Messages
562
Location
Laramie, WY
I simply use the tactic that saved me from the boogey man in my younger years. I zip my bivy up Can't see me. Can't get me.

Seriously though. It took me two nights of not being able to sleep before I rationalized it away on my first trip into grizz country

Boredom + isolation = fear
 
Joined
Aug 24, 2012
Messages
509
Location
bakersfield ca.
It does help to know a lot of us have or do get lonely or skeered. I been solo backpack huntin for 5 yrs & my first 2 seasons were like that. Then I learned that it was normal for us badasses to feel like that way from time to time. One day I found myself in such a beautiful piece of country, I felt that only me & god was there, & I was glad to be alone there in that place & time. A couple of hours later, I killed my second buck. So loneliness & fear are rare now. I don't know if I could stand to go with someone now!
 

tttoadman

WKR
Joined
Oct 3, 2013
Messages
1,748
Location
OR Hunter back in Oregon
This year is the first time I have committed to more than 3-4 days out. I never thought it would be as bad as it was this year. I went to ID by myself. I was really depressed after a couple days of "0" action after getting my expectations up so high. I also felt really guilty about being hunting on my wifes birthday. She hates it when i go by myself anyway. I packed out and drove for 2 hrs to call her on her Bday. I slept good that night. I got my mind in a better place and ended up successful after 2 more days in the woods. I was ready to go home with my tail tucked, and it took a call home to get back square again. Definitely learned that I need to work on my mental conditioning a little more.

I am a fan of music at night while i am winding down and looking at maps. I try to stay up and look at maps after i eat for as long as possible. I am lucky enough to be able to sleep pretty good. I still take a sleeping pill or a muscle relaxer to help me stay asleep. It is really weird that we can sit staring at the silence in the daytime, but it starts messing with your mind at night.
 

Aussietim

FNG
Joined
Nov 19, 2013
Messages
4
I think certainly at night in the wild it is quite natural to feel a degree of fear or unease at times, especially when you are new to the scene. We have thousands of years of evolution that have conditioned us to be un easy in some situations or when you know that all that stands between you and "things that go bump in the night" is a scant few millimetres of fabric!
 

Jager

WKR
Joined
Apr 25, 2012
Messages
658
Location
Australia
If you are feeling that fear and loneliness on a long trip, perhaps you are doing it for the wrong reasons, remember, you are there to have fun, not stress yourself out.

There is nothing hardass about being out for extended periods, so if it doesn't suit you, do not think you don't 'measure up', you need to be enjoying yourself.

Hunt for periods that suit what YOU want, if that means 2-3 nights, so be it, you will be at optimim performance levels this way and a lot safer when you have the right mindset.
 
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