keep the house after divorce? financial advisor?

[Billy Goat]

My advice from not being in this situation but seeing it a lot.

Hands down, get best lawyer before she does. Singles bar, hit up everyone in their 40's, know anything about a divorce lawyer? The most loved and most hated will be what you want, however if she already exited, won't surprise me if she has them on retainer already.



Once lawyer is retained, float a buy out price, enough that they think is enough to take and run, but that isn't splitting the value, if that's possible. That's dependent on the individual, how vested they were in things, and how green the grass is elsewhere.

 

[Ucsdryder]

Im not going to research HI but most states have alimony or child support not both.

Sometimes the easiest way to handle these things is just do nothing. Its easy to make bad decisions when emotions are running high.

One or the other? I got screwed!

Higher earner pays the other the difference in salary, usually for about half the time they were married.

Top earner makes 10k a month, other makes 5k a month, then the top earner would pay the spouse a portion of the difference monthly (40% or so I believe). Something about maintaining life style.

Then child support is on top of that. Alimony can be for 1/2 the time they were married, child support ends when the kid reaches 18.

This varies by state.

What I learned…it’s all a crock of BS. The bottom earner gets rewarded by dragging the divorce out as long as possible, alimony doesn’t start until divorce is final, plus it extends the length of marriage. Best thing he can do is wrap it up and move on, but she gets rewarded by dragging it out and both lawyers do too! A week before our court date all of a sudden all our differences were resolved and we settled in a day. Funny how that works!

In the end, it can be a good thing. Best thing that ever happened for me, and probably the kids.

 

[Billy Goat]

I hope the women who come here for gift ideas don't find this thread.

 

[KenLee]

He's consulted with a lawyer once or twice or something like that. I think since they've boh committed to the mediation he hasn't gone all in with the lawyer yet.

Thats not a risk I'd be willing to take, and I'm half crazy.
Multiple ex-wives would probably say it's a higher % of crazy than 50%.

 

[KenLee]

One or the other? I got screwed!

Higher earner pays the other the difference in salary, usually for about half the time they were married.

Top earner makes 10k a month, other makes 5k a month, then the top earner would pay the spouse a portion of the difference monthly (40% or so I believe). Something about maintaining life style.

Then child support is on top of that. Alimony can be for 1/2 the time they were married, child support ends when the kid reaches 18.

This varies by state.

What I learned…it’s all a crock of BS. The bottom earner gets rewarded by dragging the divorce out as long as possible, alimony doesn’t start until divorce is final, plus it extends the length of marriage. Best thing he can do is wrap it up and move on, but she gets rewarded by dragging it out and both lawyers do too! A week before our court date all of a sudden all our differences were resolved and we settled in a day. Funny how that works!

In the end, it can be a good thing. Best thing that ever happened for me, and probably the kids.

Yes sir. In the divorces I handle, I generally push everything towards a speedy resolution and the lawyer on other side gets pissed because they want to drag everything out and bill hourly to milk that $6-20k retainer.
I normally only do divorces for people I know. Usually 5ish a year.

 

[cnelk]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again here….

The best thing that happened was when my wife changed her name to ‘Plaintiff’.

 

[KenLee]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again here….

The best thing that happened was when my wife changed her name to ‘Plaintiff’.

You know why divorces are expensive?

 

[cnelk]

You know why divorces are expensive?

I do.
Because they are worth it!!!

 

[KenLee]

I do.
Because they are worth it!!!

Amen Brother!!!

 

[cnelk]

I will add, we did our divorce without a lawyer.
Filed all the paperwork, did what the Court said and in 90 days it was over.

We vowed to keep it civil and keep the kids as stable as possible.

Cost was $600

Was it easy? Nope.

 

[KenLee]

I will add, we did our divorce without a lawyer.
Filed all the paperwork, did what the Court said and in 90 days it was over.

We vowed to keep it civil and keep the kids as stable as possible.

Cost was $600

Was it easy? Nope.

Y'all were the exception and not the rule.
Out of everyone that tells me "oh we have everything worked out and agreed to" I'd say one in twenty works out that way.
Fights over pets or the old Chevy or Ford beater truck are common.

 

[svivian]

I always found the best deals on stuff from disgruntled ex wives

 

[Flatgo]

Reading through the comments one thing to keep in mind is that family law is extremely different in every state. Alimony child support, no fault, fault, child custody will all vary depending on the state and even district where it’s filed. That’s why a good lawyer ( not sure there is one) is worth the money. I guessing if she up and left this will not be civil.

 

[TaperPin]

It sounds good that they will come to an understanding that’s reasonable, she may even want less than half, everyone will sing Kumbaya, go their separate ways, and live happy ever after. She may say that until the last minute, but warn your buddy all it takes is her getting hooked up with a good lawyer and all that goes out the door! She’ll want half of the net present value of the income stream, half the highest valuation of the property they can get, and half the value of any personal property, and they will argue over the value. Old crap isn’t worth anything. The lawyers will make money, and the longer it goes on the less will be left in the end.

Get a good lawyer, get rid of everything, then it’s simple to split the value and move on. His next future ex wife won’t give two schitts about the location of the property - they will live where she wants to. Lol

 

[TaperPin]

I hope the women who come here for gift ideas don't find this thread.

…we kind of miss her already…

 

[Billy Goat]

…we kind of miss her already…

It seems one comes through every so often, don't worry.

Christmas decorations in stores now, we will get another.






Not positive that we have ever had a wife/gf actually asking, but that just takes the fun out of it.

 

[roadrunner]

WHo would he reach out to for better assessment of his financial options? seems like "financial advisors" are mostly retirement related but is there a subset for this type of divorce situation? or is it better off going with someone local, edward jones type? any guidance is appreciated.Thanks in advance

A financial advisor is probably the last person that needs to get involved...

 

[Fatcamp]

I will add, we did our divorce without a lawyer.
Filed all the paperwork, did what the Court said and in 90 days it was over.

We vowed to keep it civil and keep the kids as stable as possible.

Cost was $600

Was it easy? Nope.

Same, but it was a very nerve wracking time. Nobody I knew thought it would work but I pulled it off. We had identical incomes, very little wealth, and negative equity in our house.

I would never advise others to do the same.

 

[Boarmaster]

Seems some of advice here is missing or underestimating the on going value in that 2.5% interest loan. Yes you can replace the house but not that interest rate. The OP will be buying or renting into a very high market with much higher interest rates. A 2.5 % interest loan is a gift that keeps giving way after the papers are signed.

Additionally the best course is a fair settlement as quick as possible regardless of who suggests it or who wants what. If she is offering a fair settlement then I would get it done. Getting into a long drawn out divorce only benefits the attorneys as they use up all your net worth on legal fees. If your dividing up millions of dollars and assets you need a bulldog of an attorney. Most couples divorcing can be best served by a mediator if you can agree and get along. Three of my friends and their spouses went this route. It was quick and cheap and they all have gone on andcare now living their best lives. On the other hand I got a buddy that is year two of his divorce because he wanted to fight her every step even if it what she proposed was fair. In the end they will be splitting far less as both attorneys are raking it in with every fight.
Just to be fair .
I have never been married or divorced. But I been thru a heck of a lot of them over my 62 years with good friends , men and women.

Best of luck in the future to the OP.

 

[RufusB.Marion]

A financial advisor is probably the last person that needs to get involved...

Financial Advisors can help with anything, just ask them