Getting Married and Hunting

[nrh6.7]

If you’ve got kids (especially a daughter) watch “Courageous”

Seen it too. We own Courageous, Facing the Giants and Fireproof. All great movies.

 

[ODB]

Live your life NOW like you want to live it 10 years from the day you are married. In other words, if you are changing yourself to get married and think you are going to somehow revert to who you “really” have been (unbeknownst to your wife), you’ll regret it and so will she. That sounds harsh, but if you ponder it a bit, it makes sense. Good luck.

 

[flatlanderhuffandpuff]

Love your wife and she will love you back, hopefully. I work hard year round at work and at home and when I want to sneak away for a week once in a while I don't get any push back. She loves venison and even helps me butcher.

My first son was born in July of 17 and I was across the country in the mountains for 10 days in October. I know it makes it more difficult when I'm gone but she shoulders the burden to let me do something I love. We add a second baby in a few weeks which will probably put the kibosh on my spring turkey season but that's alright. We will see how it affects my fall hunting plans.

My honest and cheesy answer is to love her. Don't just be nice and attentive and helpful the week before you go away.

 

[archp625]

So many good responses. I agree, being married didn't change much for me. If anything it helped me buy a few nicer toys including a boat having two incomes instead of one. Like others have said its when the kids come. We had are first child a year ago yesterday. I missed the whole turkey season and fished maybe once. Never pulled the boat out of the garage. Last duck season I was able to go out plenty. I will tell you this. This long nights made it to where I only wanted to hunt one day a weekend so i could try and get some sleep to function at work.

The other day I was watch American Idol with our one and I guess I was way more into it than I should be. She said I think you need to go fish this weekend. My friends and I are planning a trip out west this year.

The advice I will give you when you get married or have kids is never say you are too tired to do something with her but then hunt that morning or the next day. Just suck it up and do stuff with her. I'm talking a balance of hunting and family.

 

[Crippledsledge64]

Not sure if it’s been said yet but Randy Newbergs just put out two podcast (men’s perspective and womens) about marriage and hunting. Thought they were pretty good and the wife enjoyed them too.

I’m pretty new to marriage so this isn’t sage like wisdom but I’ve learned to agree on a budget together. If you can’t stick to it find ways to add to it without taking away from her, plasma gets me an extra 4K a year for whatever I want.

 

[Rich M]

Not sure if it’s been said yet but Randy Newbergs just put out two podcast (men’s perspective and womens) about marriage and hunting. Thought they were pretty good and the wife enjoyed them too.

I’m pretty new to marriage so this isn’t sage like wisdom but I’ve learned to agree on a budget together. If you can’t stick to it find ways to add to it without taking away from her, plasma gets me an extra 4K a year for whatever I want.

That's one way to finance your fun.

My wife got sick and it wasn't cheap - told her that if I'm giving all that money to doctors, I'm gonna spend some on me too.

 

[twall13]

Not sure if it’s been said yet but Randy Newbergs just put out two podcast (men’s perspective and womens) about marriage and hunting. Thought they were pretty good and the wife enjoyed them too.

I’m pretty new to marriage so this isn’t sage like wisdom but I’ve learned to agree on a budget together. If you can’t stick to it find ways to add to it without taking away from her, plasma gets me an extra 4K a year for whatever I want.

Man I do the same thing but I'm only clearing about $3,000 per year from plasma, you must have a better paying facility near you.

Sent from my Pixel XL using Tapatalk

 

[Where's Bruce?]

No matter what, no matter who, no matter when or where...always wear the pants.

 

[boonehuntr]

It only gets better man! Had my boys in May and June so after Turkey season and before Deer season. Great planning! Wife knew the deal going in so was never an issue to go hunt.. changed more diapers and was up in the middle of the night with mine more than the wife though, and loved every minute of it. Bought a kid backpack and camo'd it up and the boys were in the woods with me literally as soon as it was possible. They were both in low ladder stands at 3 yo with me. Of course the seriousness of the hunt wasn't the same, but honestly it was way more fun to be with them. Time flies though and before you know it they were old enough to hunt alone and we were back to pretty serious hunting. The wife was/is our biggest supporter and helps and hangs out with a lot of the pre-hunt and management activities. Trust me, it gets better and better.. my boys are 19 and 23 now!

 

[Wrench]

Marriage and hunting isn't a problem. Marriage with kids and hunting 67 days a year.....that's how you get in trouble.

Ask me how I know.

 

[prm]

My wife has two horses she currently boards at a facility and she rides daily. What I spend on hunting, time and money, is a pittance in comparison. Makes it easy. She loves it, so it doesn’t bother me one bit.

 

[Gatorgrizz27]

My wife is pretty much middle of the road when it comes to how they handle hunting. She’s not controlling and doesn’t have to “ let” me go, but she’s also not cool with being gone on several 7-10 day trips in the same season.

I also don’t want to be the guy who comes home Friday night, and disappears all weekend to the woods. Our deer season here runs middle of September through middle of February if you hunt both zones we straddle. Fortunately, being self employed lets me hunt during the week a lot, which has less pressure from other hunters and I also get to spend time with my family.

I also recommend what other said about pulling your weight, spending time together, taking her on dates, etc. One thing I make damn sure of is that I’m in a great mood and ready to be the best husband/father out there when I get back from a big trip. Even if I’m tired and let down, coming home dragging and depressed isn’t going to make it easy on her to want me to go next year.

From a $ standpoint, I’d say buy any big ticket items you’re planning on now. It’s a lot easier to buy a $200 pair of boots or jacket after you’re married than a $2,000 spotting scope. Fortunately, we didn’t have to watch our budget closely during our first year of marriage, so purchases weren’t weren’t big ticket items didn’t need to be discussed. We bought another house and the end of last year and renovated it out of pocket, so things are tighter now. Luckily I’ve got most of the gear I need.

If you are sticking to a budget, I’d recommend you each have a discentionary fund. Save yours for the year and an expensive hunt shouldn’t be an issue, as you aren’t pulling it out of a joint checking or savings account.

Funny story, the first or second year we were married I told her several weeks in advance when turkey season opened. The Friday before she asked me what I wanted to do that weekend and I told her I was going to be turkey hunting like I’d mentioned. Her reply was that I had told her it was the season, not that I was planning to hunt. I followed that with I didn’t think it was some thing that needed to be said. This year we didn’t have that issue...

 

[DenverCountryBoy]

As others have said, communication is key. That's listening and sharing.

Every marriage is as different as the people in it. What might work for one couple won't for another.

Remember, especially when times are hard, she is your partner and you and her are a team; not advisaries. Figure out what you need to do to help your team be successful. The easiest way to figure that out is to communicate.

 

[Droppndrakes]

My advice is that you need to set the tone of how much you will be spending and how much you will be gone before you get married, and continue on that path for the first couple years of marriage. Once you have kids you can go ahead and cut those numbers in half but if you spend all your time with her in the early years then try and start hunting more it might not work out. Good luck it’s a wild ride!

 

[Glory]

Provide and sacrifice in such a way that she's shoving you out the door as she knows you deserve it. Don't be afraid to take a year off from the big hunts. Get good quality gear before you get married. Big ticket items cause problems unless you both spend money.

 

[Thess87]

Working on about 12 years and two kids. Been with my wife since the 8th grade so I’m sure that’s considered a little bit of a exception. I’m haven’t been married 60 years so I don’t think I’m qualified to give advice. Marry your best friend and you should be good. I haven’t had to sacrifice many days of hunting or fishing. But my wife hunts a lot to. And growing up together helps. Good luck and congrats!!

 

[Kevin Dill]

40+ years married to the only wife I'll ever have. I have often said a good marriage is like a braided stream. No matter how many times you're apart, you are ultimately on the same journey....and it's the journey that counts. I'm not going to tell anyone how to make it work in terms of a marriage and one's love of hunting and fishing.

I wouldn't marry a woman who put me second to her favorite interests in life.

A great marriage is far more rewarding than a great hunting and fishing life.

I'd rather be with who I love than doing what I love, and I tell her that often.

The best trophy room is still a lifeless place full of unseeing eyes.

A trophy wife is not my goal. Making her feel that way occasionally is great.

I don't recommend thinking you can manage a wife, a marriage and hunting.

Marry well, and the right things will happen. Have faith in that. You'll hunt.

She doesn't have to be your best friend when you get married.

You'll be wise to make her your best friend before one of you dies.

It's her life too. Give her more rainbows than rain.

 

[Muley_Julie]

Congratulations on your engagement! Lots of good advice on here already. I'm a woman who would rather go hunting than anything else in the world, and happily married to a man who loves it just as much as I do. While I can't entirely put myself in your fiance's shoes, I am pregnant and know that I won't he hunting quite as much as I'd like to in the months and years to come. A lot of friends are saying my husband's hunting days are over but they couldn't be more wrong. Sure there will be times when he'll need to stay home and help care for the baby but I still want a deer and an elk in the freezer this fall. One thing that may help your situation with your new wife is to start experimenting with different types of wild game recipes and get her really hooked on the meat, if she isn't already. Seriously! Once she starts to have amazing elk lasagna, burgers, tacos, curry, steak, etc, she will want you filling those tags. Hank Shaw has some great cook books if you need inspiration. Another thing that has already been mentioned by several commenters is to be sure and pull your weight around the house when you're not hunting. My husband cooks (incredible wild game meals!), does dishes, laundry, vacuums, and is even shampooing the carpets as I write this. And he ALWAYS makes it a point to say thank you and make me feel appreciated even when I do the smallest productive task around the house. So he's definitely earned as many days of hunting this fall as possible, depending on my needs with the baby We both enjoy hunting together and solo, so we already have a deal that he'll stay home with the baby so I at least get a chance to try and fill a deer tag this year. Even though your wife isn't a hunter, it sounds like she enjoys the outdoors so tey to include her as much as possible. Buy her nice clothes and gear for the outdoors and invite her on trips. Maybe she won't mind staying back at camp on a hunting trip if she has an activity or a dog to keep her busy? I'm sure you will have a great time!

 

[Vaultman]

My wife was outdoorsy before we got married, probably even moreso than me. But she had never hunted. We have now hunted together, and it was good.

I will second the person that said getting married doesn't change a guys hunting habits... but having kids does.

Congrats to the OP! I wish you and yours the best!

 

[keller]

best of luck to you.my wife has been supportive of my hunting addiction for many years.i always brought the bacon home per say. until she was home alone with our teenage daughter who she couldn't handle when I was on a dall sheep hunt and she couldn't call me for support. soooo... things do change.now she don't want me to go anymore because she is afraid of what will happen.