Get your business in order

[Customweld]

My FIL unexpectedly passed at 73 last Wednesday. He was an incredible man who busted his ass his whole life. My MIL never had to do much work wise and depended on him to take care of all of the financial decisions. She has no idea of what they have for investments, bank accounts or bills. He didn't drop the ball very often, but this was a major error. Do your family a favor and have your business in order. Also, if you have a strange pain in your neck, get it checked out.

 

[CorbLand]

Yes, for love, keep your significant other in the loop of what is going on. I deal with the finances in my marriage. I write down all the places we have money, insurance, etc. User names and passwords locked in a safe. Its an extremely stressful time and a portion of that can be mitigated by just talking about it.

Also, make sure that you have enough life insurance to at least cover all debt and if you have kids, day care.

 

[Rich M]

We've done this stuff with my mom, wife's father.

Need a will at minimum. Trusts are better if you have enough assets.

Filed FiL's will w court back in October - still waiting for them to agree to executor. Until then, everything is at a standstill - can't sell nothing, file taxes, etc. They got around a lot by having multiple folks on bank accounts but my wife just deposited all the cash and such into the bank to keep everything up & aboveground for her siblings.

BiL is having issues with his mom - dementia. He doesn't have durable power of atty or medical surrogate paperwork. Everything is a battle.

There is a reason for this stuff, folks just need to do it. Just do it.

 

[Tick]

It is never too soon if you care about your family. Failing to plan for death causes unnecessary stress, pain, and disappointment.

 

[svivian]

I had posted this somewhere else but ill quote it here

PSA since this thread seems fitting.

Even if you don't think you're going to kick the can anytime soon, have your shit together so you're not leaving a mess for your loved ones to clean up. Having a will is a good start, also adding POD's on bank accounts is also a good idea if applicable.

I keep a binder that is organized with

1. who/what/where any investments/assets are and how to access them (life insurance, 401k, Bank accounts, HSA etc..) I use quarterly statements for each
2. titles and deeds
3. a will with designated executor and or clear instructions of estate
4. List of owned items with values: guns, optics, gear etc.. This is helpful if your spouse is looking to sell stuff or find things that may be missing.

I update this a minimum of once a year and it goes in the safe where it can be accessed if needed. Another copy kept with the contingent beneficiary in the event that myself and my spouse pass in an accident.

 

[IDVortex]

Life insurance policy on myself to cover all debt, and to maybe purchase a home.

Her name on all accounts, including business so she can handle things.

Only thing I need to do is get a itemized lost together of valuables.

 

[7mm-08]

Great reminder. My wife and I've been on this subject hard since my 40's (mid-60's now). It just makes a lot of sense to ensure that the passing of assets is as easy as possible for your loved ones. Here's what motivated us - we pay attention to detail when it comes to our finances. We busted a hump to get where we are and want to ensure every penny we have is accounted for at time of death.

 

[Silveroddo]

We’ve been going though this with my Mom. Thankfully she was organized, we had everything place, and we’re all on the same page.
The biggest issue at the moment is dealing with Verizon to get her phone canceled. My blood pressure will go up trying to elaborate further. but make sure the verification/account pin is available somewhere. Verizon is a garbage company with nothing in place to deal with these matters short of driving to a corporate store.
I feel for anyone dealing with these situations.
Also, if you have wishes for your funeral services and change your mind towards the end, communicate those wishes in writing and/or to multiple people.

 

[LostArra]

Mike Piper's excellent short book should be required reading for husband and wife or anyone with elderly parents. It should be read before someone dies.

Amazon.com

 

[chanson_roland]

Cosign this. Mom has dementia and despite pestering her for years to get her stuff together with her accountant, tax preparer, etc, it's a total mess.

You can never do this work too early.

 

[Fireflyfishing]

I am literally flying home today to help my mother pack all my dad’s stuff to go to auction after he passed this winter. Fortunately, my folks did do quite a bit for death planning, but my dad certainly could have helped by unloading stuff he’d never use in his 70’s. Just so it’s clear, the man who dies with the most toys, doesn’t win in my book. He just leaves a lot of work for his family after he passes.

 

[missjordan]

Some people can’t handle these hard conversations whether it’s between spouses or between families. but they 100% need to happen.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[timekiller13]

Never too early to think about this stuff.

My parents are only in their early 60s but I have sat down with them and discussed medical POA, end of life decisions etc. Also financial side of things. Don’t care about money if something happens to them, but someone needs to know where and how to access investments, etc. Also know the location of your loved ones will.

My wife and I are early 40s. My wife handles the day to day finances but I do the investments, long term stuff. Every quarter, we go over everything we have, make sure passwords are in a secure yet known location for the other to find if something bad happens. We update our will every couple of years to reflect any life changes. We have younger kids (9 and 13). We have it spelled it out in detail who would care for the kids if something happened to both of us, where and how their finances are accessed (college funds etc.)

I work in the medical field and I’ve seen so many people just get blindsided when a terrible loss occurs. It’s hard enough planning a funeral. It’s even worse fighting over an estate.

 

[WCB]

100% agree...get everything in order and the people that will benefit/receive stuff should all be informed TOGETHER about it. So if all your stuff is going to your wife and kids. Once finalized everyone is in a room together. If there are brothers, sisters, cousins, friends getting anything significant...have others with you when you explain it. Spell everything out to a T if possible. None of this "well he told me..."

 

[Customweld]

I am literally flying home today to help my mother pack all my dad’s stuff to go to auction after he passed this winter. Fortunately, my folks did do quite a bit for death planning, but my dad certainly could have helped by unloading stuff he’d never use in his 70’s. Just so it’s clear, the man who dies with the most toys, doesn’t win in my book. He just leaves a lot of work for his family after he passes.

My FIL was a retired building contractor that outfitted all 3 of his Sons in laws with piles of tools. Unfortunately he still had enough to start up another business if he wanted to. He was liquidating stuff but simply ran out of time. The MIL isn't a hoarder but has a hard time of letting stuff go. My poor wife and her 2 sisters are going to have to deal with everything.

 

[WV Mountaineer]

My FIL unexpectedly passed at 73 last Wednesday. He was an incredible man who busted his ass his whole life. My MIL never had to do much work wise and depended on him to take care of all of the financial decisions. She has no idea of what they have for investments, bank accounts or bills. He didn't drop the ball very often, but this was a major error. Do your family a favor and have your business in order. Also, if you have a strange pain in your neck, get it checked out.

It’s a smack in the face when that happens. Unfortunately, I’ve watched it unfold multiple times. This example stuck with me.

My grandad was that guy. Financial guru. However, My grand mother worked all through their life as a seamstress in a local factory. She put a lot of money towards their investments and retirement. But, she never got involved in it. Just gave the money to my granddad for him to put where they needed.

Towards retirement, she developed dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Which made him the sole provider, bread winner, and care taker. No one thought what would happen if he wasn’t there. Well, a few short years later he started feeling bad. I took him to the doctor. He had stage 4 melanoma throughout his body. He died 6 days after that initial visit diagnosing his disease.

It was a real turmoil after that. They had money. They had investments. They had a lot of things in both their names that required a lot of work to get right. It took my mother better than a year to get insurance reimbursement for the funeral and burial. It took a long time to get his social security changed over to her. It was a huge hassle and financial burden on my mother and my family.

The medicine my grandmother was on required $1000/month out of pocket after social security covered what it could. It was a complete loss until everything got changed over. The year it took to get $15,000 burial insurance was a joke too.

It gets worse. It took longer than that to get their finances changed to allow my mother to use their money to help with bills. She had to quit work to take care of her mother. So, she needed her income replaced to pay for her car, insurance, etc…. I paid that personally for 15 months to the tune of $750/ month. It was just a mess.

I echo what the OP is saying. Get it done. No one is promised the next second. Much less the time to get every thing planned up on their death bed.

God bless fellas. It’s a tough world out there.

 

[GSPHUNTER]

I have had to deal with a few messes in the past few years. Two brothers passed, not married, without wills/trust. What I'm certain they were not aware of was, in Wis. The nephews and nieces of siblings who passed before they did are entitled to a share of the estate. Brother Tom who passed before either of them had three kids, the courts took what would have been his share and divided it three ways. the same went for other siblings who passed before they did. My wife takes care of the finances in our household because I would Mess it up. We sit down together every so often and go over everything just to keep me up to date and make sure I have the know how to take care of things should she go first. Stay up to date on your finances and for god sake have a will/ trust. It's easy to do, and stupid not to do.

 

[KenLee]

We've done this stuff with my mom, wife's father.

Need a will at minimum. Trusts are better if you have enough assets.

Filed FiL's will w court back in October - still waiting for them to agree to executor. Until then, everything is at a standstill - can't sell nothing, file taxes, etc. They got around a lot by having multiple folks on bank accounts but my wife just deposited all the cash and such into the bank to keep everything up & aboveground for her siblings.

BiL is having issues with his mom - dementia. He doesn't have durable power of atty or medical surrogate paperwork. Everything is a battle.

There is a reason for this stuff, folks just need to do it. Just do it.

He should try to get a poa done just after mom's first cup of coffee in the morning. Sometimes a person clearly w dementia can be "there" early in the day. I say thus after 17 yrs dealing w my Mama's Alzheimers.

 

[AZ8]

My mom and dad did pretty good in planning. They have a family trust with everything spelled out. A Will is also included within the Trust. My father passed several years ago which left my mom as the Trustee of the Trust.

Interesting this topic came up. We actually have an appointment in a couple weeks with the Estate lawyer to go over everything again and update things since Dad passed. We've kinda let things be as staus quo, but my mom's financial portfolio has changed, assests added and/or sold, so some clean up is needed.

It's easy to open a Trust and throw it in the drawer and forget about it. Us included. It really should be updated every so many years.

When my Dad passed, it was still a stressful time, but thankfully everything went smoothly. I can't imagine the immense stress it would have be without the Trust to guide us all.

 

[DustyCogs]

Sorry for your families loss.