"Funny" TSA Thread

[tdoublev]

I had an elk bugle tube in my carry on last year. They flagged my bag in the xray machine to be pulled aside. The agent starts pulling out all my items, which included my Spot Hogg (solid metal) sight and binoculars. Gets to the bugle tube and starts looking at it funny - clearly has no idea what he’s looking at. Decides he can’t make a decision on it so he needs to pull in his supervisor. His supervisor felt very high and mighty and looks at it for 2 seconds and says it can be used as a weapon so it has to be checked. I remind him it’s just a hollow plastic tube and I have much more heavy metal items in my bag that would be a lot more dangerous than that. He said doesn’t matter, plastic can hurt too and this looks like a bat. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get a new one once I landed so I paid $125 to check a third bag. Easily found tubes once we landed for $60 - I made the wrong choice. Next time I’m telling them it’s a megaphone for search and rescue.

 

[Laelkhunter]

I remember that when the troops were leaving Afghanistan, some flew back on chartered commercial flights. The troops were allowed to bring their rifles on board, but could not bring their bayonets aboard because they could be used as weapons..

 

[3forks]

Once while standing in line waiting to go through security, an airport police officer and his dog were walking though the crowd. I realize that these officers and the TSA have a job to do, but this guy was young and seemed to be on a power trip. The officer would walk up to a person and sternly quiz them about their travel similar to what you would expect when you go through customs.

Our trip was domestic travel, and the young officer seemed to really be enjoying making people uncomfortable and asking questions that to me, seemed over the top. When he came up to me and my wife, he asked “where are you coming from?” in an almost hostile tone. I laughed and said “your mom’s house.” People in line next to us started laughing, and I quickly said in a casual manner, that I was just kidding and answered the question. The officer was flustered, and moved on with no other questions.

 

[ez_willie]

I walked through security (3-d scanner I’m guessing) and homeboy pulls me aside “mannn you got a necklace on or something?” and pats at my chest…nope just a big dented chest or Pectus excavatum if you wanna be all scientific about it. I lifted my sweater and he seemed like he’d never seen something like that in his life lol

 

[Eleven]

I remember that when the troops were leaving Afghanistan, some flew back on chartered commercial flights. The troops were allowed to bring their rifles on board, but could not bring their bayonets aboard because they could be used as weapons..

This is a true story!

 

[Beendare]

Just for AK Airlines flights. So flying from Kodiak to ANC on AK Airlines you have TSA, but flying an airline like Ravn from Kodiak to ANC would not have TSA.

Yeah, beentherdonethat- never again.

I missed my connection in Anchorage one year because Ravin in Kodiak had no security...so I had to walk my baggage and firearm to the agent for inspection then recheck- too late.

Sadly, I booked it through Alaska air...but I failed to notice the one leg was on Ravin.

 

[Beendare]

Probably the funniest TSA encounter I had was years ago when the screening was fairly new.

I was carrying on about 50# or elk meat in my day pack to avoid the excess weight charges. I had it double wrapped in food grade plastic bags.

The problem for the Xray machine was it looked like a big black hole and they freaked a little about that. They looked at me like I had 40# of C4 wrapped in lead to hide it.

I had it cold not frozen. They made me unwrap....gasped a little- relieved, "Yeah, thats a pile of red meat" and sent me on my way.

I think the machines now can tell what's in there.

 

[ChrisA]

Our party was called to the loading gate at Sangster International Airport in Montego Bay, Jamaica for a luggage inspection. My wife was thinking WTF did you pack Chris, and I was shitting bricks because there may or may not have been a short dozen seeds strewn in my checked bag. They informed us that 3 of our 4 suitcases tested positive for narcotics so we had to open them and let them inspect, infront of us and all the passengers waiting to board. While they rifled through our dirty clothes I asked what particular narcotics did the scanner sense, we were informed "methamphetamines". We all laughed and commented on being from Iowa which was nearly a meth capital of the US at the time. My brother even grabs his fat belly and shows his teeth and proclaims he ain't on meth. I breathed a sigh of relief when they surmised it must have been the laquer on the wooden trinkets we packed. They did repack my bottles of rum much better than my hasty cram job though.

 

[Pony Soldier]

I remember one when one of my friend had been on a consulting job at a mine. He put his mine boots in a plastic bag and then into a garbage sack with his diggers.

Going through the line the TSA sensors picked up the scent of explosives on the boots and confiscated them. I just don't know where you could encounter explosives in an underground mining operation- like everywhere.

 

[long hunter]

Power moves mostly from people in positions because of social economic situations, never had a position of control in their lives. Needed security operations staffed by mostly bye those who have no to little ideal of what is going on around them.Hired bye those of the same intellect. Come to think of it just like politicians.

 

[GSPHUNTER]

Power moves mostly from people in positions because of social economic situations, never had a position of control in their lives. Needed security operations staffed by mostly bye those who have no to little ideal of what is going on around them.Hired bye those of the same intellect. Come to think of it just like politicians.

A little power is a dangerous thing.

 

[long hunter]

A little power is a dangerous thing.

Especially with a little brain.

 

[BigNate]

I used to travel A LOT for work, several trips a month, many connecting flights, even in/out of the country. Customs still had greasy palms in Central America, but TSA was the worst to deal with. I hate power trippin' minimum wage earning tuffs.
I traveled a couple days after 9/11 for a hunt and it was interesting. Some stuck to existing rules, some were looking for non existing problems. I had to switch planes in Portland, Oregon and had to go pick my rifle out of an unmonitored stack of luggage myself, and go back to check it in at the next airline. Literally anyone walking by could have picked it up and walked away. The next flights on the return were like polar opposite, one acted like it was no big deal, and the next had a bunch of questions, wanted to open and handle everything.

 

[Elk botherer]

My wife and I were in the Fort Lauderdale airport returning from a vacation waiting in line to go through the scanner at the TSA security check when I was vacantly staring across the room at the other line when I noticed a guy in his 60s or so with his pants drooping significantly due to the removal of his belt. Just then his pants dropped straight to the floor in a pile around his ankles without him noticing at all. He just kept casually staring around the room. What made it great was his buddy about the same age traveling with him that was standing behind him in line didn’t say a word to his friend that his pants were on the floor and was instead doubled over silently laughing and pointing at his friend to everyone else in the room. After a full couple of minutes of this going on a TSA officer finally came over and alerted the guy his pants were down. The guy quickly pulled his pants back up looking all around the room embarrassed and then his friend really started laughing- out loud this time and he didn’t stop harassing his friend until they were out of hearing range from us. Made the wait in line pretty entertaining!

 

[JFK]

My wife and I were coming back from Mexico. She had put some sand from a couple beaches we had been to in bags. Maybe 1/2 cup of sand in each bag TSA pulls her bag and starts inspecting the sand. We tell them it’s just sand. It’s coarse sand, has shells in it. It’s obviously sand. They landed on the decision that she could keep one of the bags of sand, but not the other. True story. Lost all faith in them when I saw that clown show.

This year we were also flying home from OKC. I had stopped at a shop and bought some bullets. Not ammo…just 100 bullets I wanted to try out. Being that they are just chunks of lead and no different from a fishing weight I didn’t think it would be a big deal to carry on. Aaaannnnd…I was wrong. TSA lady asks me what they are and I said “bullets”. She freaks out. Multiple supervisors get involved. They ultimately understood that they were harmless pieces of lead, and it didn’t seem like they believed in their own BS, but that one ended up being a very fun time. My wife just laughing and shaking her head at me saying “why do you always do this” was truly priceless and almost worth the trouble.

 

[Forestryguy]

I remember that when the troops were leaving Afghanistan, some flew back on chartered commercial flights. The troops were allowed to bring their rifles on board, but could not bring their bayonets aboard because they could be used as weapons..

Made me remember flying with military gear after 9/11. In civis but with obvious military-style bags. Had a whole over-stuffed duffle bag torn into at the check-in counter. It tested positive for gunpowder. I just looked at the agent with a "no shit" look on my face. Once they were done and found no actual ammo, they wanted me to repack the bag. I told the lady you unpacked it, you can figure out how it all goes back in. Ended up having to repack the bag myself in front of everyone in the line. The same deal happened when getting checked through TSA line. Makes me wonder how people get to foreign countries with ammo in their bags.

 

[7mm-08]

I remember that when the troops were leaving Afghanistan, some flew back on chartered commercial flights. The troops were allowed to bring their rifles on board, but could not bring their bayonets aboard because they could be used as weapons..

For the win!

 

[mtwarden]

TSA related. My wife dropped me off at the airport (and promptly headed back the 100 miles to our home). As I'm dicking around the airport (not gone through security), it occurs to me that I have folding knife still with me- $hit! An expensive folder, one that I don't want to give up. I'm sitting in a chair and look at the large planter (and plant) next to me- hmmm.

I stuff the knife a couple of inches below the surface of the soil. Go through security sans knife. Three days later on my return, go to the planter and pluck out my knife— yeah baby!

 

[jwatts]

Not the TSA but the way Denver handles firearms vs Philadelphia is entertaining if not sad. In Denver they pulled the firearms and kept them in a place that you had to check them out of separate from baggage claim. My brother and I went to pick up the guns while our Dad went to get the rental car.

The lady working the counter gave us our firearms but initially wouldn’t give us our Dad’s as he needed to be present since she could only release the guns to the person named on the ticket. After talking for a minute and explaining that he left to get the rental plus our IDs that show the same last name along with my brother who is at the same address and the fact that all three were in identical cases she decided to let us take his guns with us even though it was against the rules.

In Philly though, they tossed them on the baggage carousel and I got to watch mine bob up and down the ramp for 5 minutes before enough stuff got stuck behind it to push it up onto the carousel. Apparently 65 pounds in a smooth sided pelican case was a bit much for the surface of the ramp. But they just dumped them onto the regular baggage claim right next to the door, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear of people stealing guns from the airport as it would have been super easy to do so.

I had a similar experience with Denver and New Orleans. The Denver airport completely disassembled my gun case, removed everything including the foam, and fumbled around putting it back together. I was seriously concerned I was going to miss my flight. In New Orleans they took the case and said they'd call if there were any issues. Didn't even ask me to open the case for them.

On the other side of things, I had to go to the separate location to get my gun while my bags rolled around the carousel waiting on me. In New Orleans the guns came out on the carousel before any other baggage showed up.

 

[JBrew]

Nothing bad from me, but a buddy of mine flew out of Nashville a few days ago and ran into a TSA agent who evidently wasn't aware that an Insulin Port is an actual thing. Said he had to get damn near naked.