Family help

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I know this sight has a ton of military and retired military and I’m looking for advice. My brother recently left the marines after 12 years, he was married going in divorced during and engaged when he retired then single shortly after he started civilian life. From what Iv read this is common, what I’m looking for is guys that may have been in his shoes and how best to support him and possibly help him home? I know that’s selfish and maybe someone has reasoning that’s not the best for a military man that’s seen and done allot “ptsd situation” Or maybe it is? Idk? Just looking for advise I guess.

 

[USMC-40]

Spent 8 years in the Marine Corps - had the fortunate opportunity to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan (2x each). What he needs is a purpose, a mission in civvie life. He will never replace the comaraderie or adrenaline, but he can oriente his life towards a ‘new mission’ (whatever that may be). It’s also good to have adventurous hobbies (part of why I hunt in the mountains is to replace the physically challenging, adventurous lifestyle).

I’ve seen, dealt with, and seemingly conquered (with Gods help) the post-war demons. Hit me up via PM if I can help any more.

S/F

 

[Lelder]

i don’t know where you are located but there is most likely a Carpenter’s Union local somewhere near bye and they are part of a great program for veterans called “helmets to hard hats “. The program gets them into the local union and working on job sites pretty quickly. There are a lot of service members in the trades which might make it easier. I agree with USMC-40 that a specific purpose or direction is needed. Im not a veteran but work at one of the union training facilities near Cleveland and am fortunate to get to work with these very driven men and women. If you want some more info PM me. Thanks to your brother for his service and to all our rokslide veterans!

 

[[email protected]]

My sister and I have offered to sponsor him onto our local fire rescue dept hoping that would help him to fill the gap in the adventure as well as bought him a muzzleloader and looking to buy him a left handed bow to get him back outdoors with us. Maybe that would help him with purpose! I’ll also look into a helmets to hard hats program here in Colorado thank you very very much guys!

 

[LightFoot]

I may understand what he is going through. Transitioning from a military at war to civilian life is challenging. He absolutely needs a new mission. Something to focus on.

He also needs counseling/ therapy/mental health support. It is so hard to hear that and admit it. I struggled with that myself. Now I see a counselor regularly and proud to do so.

Pass on my information and I can talk with him about how to approach the VA health care system.

There are some great non-profits that take veterans hunting and fishing. They are easy to find on Facebook and Google.

Also think about letting him decide what his next mission is instead of pushing one on him. Hunting may not be the right thing for him right now.

PM me for contact info

 

[Elkhntr08]

See if there’s a local group of vets already established that he can meet with.
Did my time in the Corps, both boys in the Army, all infantry. I/we can tell you, if you haven’t been thereand seen it, you won’t understand. Don’t feel bad if he won’t open up to you. You’re an outsider, not part of the team.
Purpose and hope are the best things you can show him now.

 

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We are trying hard to not force him into anything when we show him options we’ve thought of and we absolutely are not on the same page as him that’s why I asked your advise thank you guys very very much

 

[Bubblehide]

Here is my take from both sides, personal experience, including recovering from a significant injury; and as a professional. He is very likely grieving the loss of himself. In civilian life he needs to re-invent himself. Until he does that, he will continue to have and likely exhibit issues. He can have both PTSD and be grieving. I believe it is a disservice to just refer to it as PTSD, as who he was is GONE-lost... and he very likely simply does not know who he is anymore. In my case, I was given diagnosis of PTSD and depression. In retrospect I do not believe I had either. Furthermore, the misdiagnosis made it more difficult to deal with. When I finally figured it out, on my own no less, I quickly had perspective and direction.

 

[USMC-40]

Honest advice - stay the hell away from the VA. Pills to go to sleep, pills to wake up, pills to have energy through the day, pills to ease anxiety. After about 30 days he would be a walking zombie - ask me how I know. That was 2013, maybe something has changed, but I doubt it.

 

[LightFoot]

Honest advice - stay the hell away from the VA. Pills to go to sleep, pills to wake up, pills to have energy through the day, pills to ease anxiety. After about 30 days he would be a walking zombie - ask me how I know. That was 2013, maybe something has changed, but I doubt it.

Things have changed and there are options to seek care outside the VA if you know how to ask - ask me how I know.

The VA is not better than private Healthcare in my opinion. They can seem like an automated doctor, which they are in some ways due to an ungodly amount of regulations imposed on them.

VA care is better than no care.

>>>----JAKE----->

 

[Elkhntr08]

No easy way to say this, but watch the alcohol use. We all go through it to some degree.
Things are definitely better today than when I was discharged. It wasn’t something that was talked about back in the ‘80s. Most of my friends were Vietnam vets and it was their fault.
It’s not something that he’ll ever be cured of, you just learn to cope and deal with it every day.
It’s been 45 years for me and I deal every day. Helping my boys has helped me more than anything.