So with all the predator discussions lately, I figured I'd share this story from a few years back. It's hilarious in hindsight to me and my buddies, but it was straight-up nightmare fuel for a group of college kids who thought they were having a chill night in the park.
There's this spot in Cuyahoga Valley National Park (CVNP) – a steep hill that overlooks a parking lot, separated by a creek. To get up there, you cross a small railroad bridge, hop a ditch, then scramble up the hillside grabbing roots and watching your step. At the top it levels out into a flat area where local kids have been known to sneak up for parties. It's a semi-known hangout spot.
One day I'm at the grocery store and overhear some people buying a ton of beer and party supplies, openly talking about hitting "the hill" that night for a big gathering. Being the petty asshole I am, I immediately text a few friends to see if they're free, then call up a buddy who's a National Park Ranger. I casually mention my car will be in the lot later and that I'd "heard rumors" of underage drinking/partying up there... but tell him not to roll in until late so it doesn't get broken up too early.
Friends show up at my place. We lay out the gear: a few sets of night vision, three thermal scopes, and I had the cat owners bring those cheap red laser pointers (you can probably guess where this is headed). On the drive over, I send everyone a link to some creepy predator growl sound bites , sync our phones to small Bluetooth speakers I'd handed out, and go over the plan one last time.
We arrive around 9 PM, slip into the woods quietly, and hunker down to wait. About an hour later, cars start pulling in. People hike up, start a fire, crack beers – party is in full swing.
I give the signal. First guy on the far right triggers his speaker: low, guttural growl echoes through the trees. Only a couple people notice and go "What was that?" Then the left-side guy plays his – now more heads turn, everyone shushes, and they're yelling "Who's out there?!" while grabbing branches like makeshift weapons.
Right-side guy hits his again. Someone throws a rock behind the group to make noise near another speaker. Now panic is setting in. We start sequencing the growls from different directions, tossing small rocks to misdirect, so they have no clue where the "thing" is.
Then the lasers: we'd taped three of them together into a rough triangle and aimed the combined red dot right at the chest of the apparent "leader" of the group. A girl spots it, screams bloody murder – and that's it. Mass hysteria. Everyone bolts, flashlights swinging wildly, people helping each other down the steep hill while yelling stuff like "We're gonna kick its ass!" and tripping over everything in the dark.
They finally make it across the bridge into the parking lot just as the first of three Ranger vehicles pulls in (perfect timing). The group swarms them, babbling about some monster in the woods that's gonna kill them.
Meanwhile, my crew quietly slips out the back side of the hill, crosses the tracks, hikes up the opposite ridge, and loops around to the main road. We stash all the gear in packs, pull out headlamps, topo maps, and compasses to look legit, then casually "hike" back into the lot like we're finishing a night navigation course from the metro park across the way.
My Ranger buddy spots us heading to my car, stops us with a huge grin, and asks what we've been up to and where we were. We play it straight: "Just did a night compass course over in the metro park, hiked in from there. Didn't hear or see anything weird – why, something going on?"
He just chuckles, says "Nah, just some kids spooked by wildlife or whatever," and lets us go.
We piled into the car laughing our asses off the whole drive home. Zero regrets. Moral of the story: if you're gonna underage party in a National Park, maybe don't announce it in public... and watch out for the growling in the trees.
Thank you for reading, these are therapy for me to type out and let others enjoy, some I’ve never told anyone before.
The spot is at the Station Road bridge access if you want to look at the area yourself
The red is where it happened and then our trail to river view rd
