Convincing your wife

[Roofer1]

Everyone seems to be spelling out exactly what I'm doing in a couple weeks. I'm doing a first solo out of state mule deer hunt in a couple weeks. Have been a mad man at home getting chores/projects done, have a very laid out plan of where I'm planning on being, and got the InReach. All that said, she's still not super excited but understands who/what I am is the same man she married 14 years ago. I will not be turning on the tracking option on the InReach but did tell her that I will check in at a specific time daily.

 

[Gobbler36]

Say I’m headed hunting here’s where I’ll be if I don’t come back on time , get an inreach and then say “I love you and see you when I get back, this hunk of a man is going to get groceries!” Works every time for me

 

[ODB]

“Honey, I could have been hit by a bus and killed on the way home from work tonight.”

yes,get an inReach.

but there is a certain degree of concern that’s realistic. I was in Kenya for 11 days with a guide, and while not solo, it was just after an al shabaab terrorist attacked and also in an area that has had shifta (bandit) attacks in the past. The wife was fine with it because she understood how much it meant to me to go.

“He died doing what he loved” is a hell of a lot better than, “he tripped down the stairs carrying the laundry.”

concern is OK, stopping someone from living their life is not.

 

[bbell]

Didn’t read all the posts. Build trust and get a garmin inReach. A couple small trips go a long ways towards building confidence for the big trips. The marriage is more important so approach it with that mindset. Good luck.

 

[WCB]

I get what guys say about"building trust" but you are already married and have kids if she doesn't trust you already probably should have bailed a long time ago. Also, I see on everyone of these types of posts guys mention treating their wife in some way...meal, presents, take care of the kids while she goes with her friends. or, things like "make sure you are pulling your weight"...WTF guys? This is called being an adult and you shouldn't have to give or receive anything special to allow your significant other to do what they love to do.

Inreach is a good idea and let her know your plan A, B, C. Other than that just go.

 

[bozeman]

Any advise on trying to convince your wife to let you go on solo out of state hunts? I’d like to try some solo mule deer hunting next year but the wife doesn’t seem to like the idea.. don’t really have any buddies that would be up for the task. But I’d like to go solo anyways. Any advice guys?

Remind her who the 'man of the house' is and let her know when you are leaving and coming back.......if you will do this just once, you will never have to worry about asking her about solo hunts or any other hunt from that point forward......be a man, tell her and video it so you can share with us......

 

[zacattack]

My wife supports my hobbies and I support hers. End of story.

also find someone to communicate while you are gone

 

[TheGDog]

InReach Mini.

Setup preset msgs for :
"so far so good"
"shutting the inreach down for the night."

ON her end she gets an email with a link that's based on Latitude/Longitude and she can click on it and see exactly where you are when you sent the msg.

 

[AKBorn]

Remind her who the 'man of the house' is and let her know when you are leaving and coming back.......if you will do this just once, you will never have to worry about asking her about solo hunts or any other hunt from that point forward......be a man, tell her and video it so you can share with us......

Not picking at your post...just saying I bet there are probably a few guys on the forum who used this approach over the years...and then videotaped some time later, when the wife left them...lol

 

[bbell]

I didn’t convey it very well but I don’t mean trust in a general sense and maybe trust isn’t the best word. Your wife is obviously worried about it and cares. By doing smaller trips and building up experience she can have more piece of mind when you go out on the bigger trips.
Also taking family on hunting trips is an awesome experience. Different than backpacking in but definitely worth the hassle.

 

[Wrench]

My wife has always nervously agreed to let me go because I was a raging prick if I couldn't go. When I got cliffed out near dark a few years ago and expressed my concern to her....it was a bad idea. I have 5 kids, my income is our only income and she counts on me to make good decisions.

She suggested a partner, I tried that (still taking applications) and it was a handcuff.

We settled on the inreach mini and it saved it for me. I just returned from a 15 day trip in the mountains solo and will leave again in 4 days.

If hunting is part of your personality....you need to be who you are. If being the conforming husband is...then that answers this question.

 

[AKBorn]

...When I got cliffed out near dark a few years ago and expressed my concern to her....it was a bad idea. I have 5 kids, my income is our only income and she counts on me to make good decisions.

If hunting is part of your personality....you need to be who you are. If being the conforming husband is...then that answers this question.

Just curious if you dialed the climbs back a notch after the cliff-out near dark a few years back? My question is based on the "5 kids, sole income" comment right after the cliff-out sentence.

Just asking because some very skilled outdoorsmen fall to their death every year...a reminder to the rest of us to exercise caution if/when we can...

 

[LongWayAround]

I've got a friend who told his ex-wife he couldn't take the kids for his week because he was already in Vietnam... How much do you like being married?

 

[Wrench]

Just curious if you dialed the climbs back a notch after the cliff-out near dark a few years back? My question is based on the "5 kids, sole income" comment right after the cliff-out sentence.

Just asking because some very skilled outdoorsmen fall to their death every year...a reminder to the rest of us to exercise caution if/when we can...

I did. I had a conversation with myself about giving up who I love for what I love.

Spend a couple weeks alone and have a few near deaths and you get pretty right with yourself.

 

[blicero]

Also, I see on everyone of these types of posts guys mention treating their wife in some way...meal, presents, take care of the kids while she goes with her friends. or, things like "make sure you are pulling your weight"...WTF guys?

I'm the one who said to make sure he's pulling his weight at home so I'll respond.

Everyone's got a different home life and different situation going on (young kids, no kids, grown kids, wife's a stay-at-home mom, wife works full time, grandparents around that help with kids, etc). But I see plenty of posts from younger guys who say "My wife and I both work full time and we have 3 young kids at home but I just wanna go hunting and do what I want and she's kinda bitchy about me leaving her alone, how do I make her stop being bitchy about that?", and then they seem confused.

I'm not saying that's the deal with the guy who started this thread; I don't know him or his situation, just saying that I've seen it plenty.

So my advice is always to make sure they're being a solid husband and father, leading their family and getting their shit taken care first. Work hard, play hard. If they're doing that already, great, but a lot of guys do the bare minimum and then expect to be treated like they're doing the maximum.

And I also know plenty of guys who divorced, only see their kids every other weekend, but well at least they get to go hunt now whenever they want without the old ball-and-chain bitching at them. Everyone gets to make their own decisions about how they want to approach it.

 

[shoeshineman]

An inreach was the ticket for my wife.

 

[Beendare]

I've done many solo hunts....no problem.

My wife's attitude is a function of my experience and confidence.

Are you subconsciously making it a big deal.....or somehow conveying to her that it I dangerous?

Personally, I feel safer in the woods than in big city traffic.

_______

 

[TheCougar]

I've got three little kids and so my wife is usually a bit hesitant for me to get way out in the backcountry with no communication. That said , she understands the corollary to "happy wife, happy life." I'm a much better husband and father if I get time out in the woods. Communication has been the biggest thing for us, if I can either use an inreach or find cell coverage to check in once or twice a day things are much better. Hunting with friends is better yet, but sometimes it doesn't work out.

I’ve got 4 younger kids and besides the communication part the most important thing I ever did was freezer meals. Every year before season starts, I spend about. 12 hours in the kitchen making a freezer meal for every night I am gone. Evenings are the toughest for her with the kids, so this is a huge deal. I made 32 meals for her this year and pretty much exhausted all my game meat except for ground elk. The first year I did it, she cried her eyes out because she was so touched by the gesture. It’s a little thing for me, but a huge thing for her.

 

[Rich M]

Get an inreach and check in 2x day.

My wife did not want me going solo on a trip and did online dating... Had a bad date.

Now she's cool w me going solo, then buddies saw success and now want to go.

 

[huntem]

While I wouldn't recommend my approach but I told her I booked the hunt. I reminded her that I'm quite the catch and she shouldn't be upset. (Did not work) I reminded her of my hunting habits when she signed up (Roll of the eyes) I enjoyed the quiet house for a couple weeks (Worked for me). That was many hunts ago. Nowwww, when I missed the second out of 3 Christmas', it was quiet for a couple months.