BYU or University of Utah for daughter?

[Billinsd]

Holy Cow. $200K!!!!!! I have 2 to put through college in the next 10 years. I've already told them 2 years of community college and then transfer on. Sounds as though you put a good head on your daughters shoulders, so she'll do fine wherever she goes!

Community college work, I did that and transferred. The big concern with CC is staying focused and transferring to a 4 year college. Doing 2 years of CC is extremely economical!!! Nothing wrong with that!!!

 

[MTtrout]

I wish your daughter the best of luck wherever she goes and carries on her values. She sounds like a very well rounded individual. But sending her to BYU has to be something you and your wife are OK with handling the outcome if she may find it hard to fit in. College is about gaining educational knowledge and, even more IMO, gaining life experiences and long lasting friendship. This can happen at BYU and ever single college out there. Why make it harder on her accomplishing it if it’s not her #1 choice? My boy isn’t even in grade school so maybe I can’t relate that well...

 

[JimCraig]

Hey Bill, I commend you for having such a sincere interest in what's best for your daughter. It legitimately shows in the way you explained and asked your question. Contrary to the bulk of the responses you got, I would say it looks like your thought process is very sound, and you'll be just fine using your own judgement rather than putting much stock into the biased "advice" you received here. Best of luck to you and your family! If you do end up out in Utah, welcome! It's a great place to be.

 

[cacklercrazy]

Dont you have to be Mormon to attend? I always thought you had to be LDS.

Jim McMan wasn't when he went there,but that might a new rule put in place because of him.

 

[wildwilderness]

Are you LDS? If not are you ok with your future in-laws being LDS and you missing some of your daughters wedding?

Things to consider, but utah is amazing either way.

The policy on civil weddings has changed, so no one has to miss their daughters wedding.

 

[wildwilderness]

There was a very sad incident at the U of U that every parent would dread. Would be harder to happen at a place with stricter housing rules and Honor Code. There is way more to the story and the University’s miss management prior and after the murder that was very appalling.

Here’s an updated timeline of the slaying of University of Utah student Lauren McCluskey and reform that has followed

Here is a timeline of events leading up to Lauren McCluskey's death and the fallout, as compiled by campus police, an independent team who reviewed the university’s handling of her case, and additional reporting by The Salt Lake Tribune.

www.sltrib.com

 

[wildwilderness]

Academically BYU is harder to get in, so the average student will have a higher test scores and GPA. The State schools have open enrollment (at least for residents?)

most of the angst against BYU is the Honor code, where students voluntarily agree to live by a higher standard and values that represent The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. When the rules are broken there are procedures in place, and a process to come back. Yes there have been athletes who had to sit out a year for having pre marital sex, but that is what they agreed to.

I guess society as a whole has gone more secular and doesn’t want to take responsibility for their actions. So the easy way out is to blame the school or church instead of taking personal responsibility.

Yes the average student gets married younger. I see it as a direct result of the high priority the Church puts on family. And the teachings of chastity of no pre-marital sex.

 

[roadrunner]

Wherever my daughter goes to college there is a huge chance of her meeting her future husband. Nothing wrong with that, so long as there is a large pool of potential son in laws. Of course it's up to her, and I'd like her to wait and take her time. However, she really enjoys relationships, not like a butterfly. I think she'd like to marry young. Whatever is best for her and makes her happy is what I want. Thanks!!

The best balance between conservative BYU and party/liberalism U of U would be USU in Logan. There will be a presence of both conservative values and if you want to party it up and get into trouble there is that too. Finding an outdoorsy type family to marry into wouldn't be as difficult as it would at BYU or U of U. There is a decent ski area not more than 30 min outside of town, sledding (snowmobile), fly fishing, snowshoeing, mountain-biking, all wrapped up in a town small enough not to get swallowed up in the big city but large enough to get what you easily need.

Non-resident tuition is roughly $10k per semester and resident is roughly $3.4K. Residency for tuition purposes in any UT school is one year with proof of 3 out of 5 criteria such as voter registration, employment, a driver's license, vehicle registration, etc.

My daughter is a senior in HS this year and getting ready to hit the college road next fall. She too is wicked smart, good in pretty much all subjects and will have completed a semester worth (12 hours) of college credit through AP and dual credit HS/College courses by the time she graduates. She has no interest in being an engineer, attorney, or health professional. That all changes when they actually get into the university lifestyle. She will be starting at USU.

I know this thread is about your daughter, not mine. My point is, she needs to decide what she wants to do. I too chose the engineering path because of the "opportunities" it could offer and the normally higher paying jobs. I regret it now and should have taken the path I originally started down instead of caving to the encouragements of others saying to take the engineer's path although it has had some benefits, but not necessarily more than anything else.

I wish her the best and hope she discovers what she really wants to do for a career. Like I said, nothing worse than to take an educational and career path that you'll regret. Of course, there are the alternative licensure programs for educators now in case people discover education is meant for them and can easily switch if they had an undergrad degree in engineering....

 

[brsnow]

Where does she want to go?

 

[PredatorSlayer]

My daughter is a Junior at a Charter HS in San Diego County. She's got straight As in honors and AP classes and good SAT scores. She dosen't like UCSD near us and likes UCI 90 miles north. She's a hard working kid, that likes the outdoors and my wife and I think BYU would probably be a good fit. Good education, Conservative, traditional values, and excellent outdoor recreation!!! The University of Utah is probably good, but not as good or traditional as BYU? My sister in law lives close in South Jordan. I think the University of Utah has a Western Undergraduate Exchange program and I wouldn't have to pay out of state tuition? BYU has scholarships it looks like. Either way I doubt either school will cost more than $30k for tuition and room and board?, which is well under my budget. Utah is on my wife and my short list to move to. I want what's best for my daughter and I believe the quality of people is better in Utah. I think Utah has much better potential son in laws. Have you or someone you know graduated from either school? Thanks Bill

I am a BYU alum - education is excellent. The culture there can be a little frustrating depending on your personality...that culture expands to most of Utah. Its a self righteous, keeping up with the Jones kind of culture. I grew up in Idaho and currently live in Tennessee. My wife and I have talked about moving back a couple times (her parents live in Orem) and we always end up deciding we would rather not. Hope my kids go to school somewhere in Utah - I think Utah State is a great school as well. I just hope they don’t live their forever or else my wife will want to move back to be around grandkids.

The housing and culture loosens up a bit if you go more towards UVU - my first year I lived in an apartment complex right next to BYU and hated it, I was also just back from a 2 year mission to Japan, so part of that may have been just trying to normalize and not be so awkward. 2nd year I moved to Raintree apartments where probably half the kids there were going to UVU - I had a blast and ended up meeting my wife.

 

[PredatorSlayer]

Dont you have to be Mormon to attend? I always thought you had to be LDS.

You don’t have to be a member, but I believe the Tuition is cheaper if you are.

 

[2ski]

I went to a school that was religion-based for a while. There was plenty of things going on you'd not want for your daughter. But that I enjoyed. lol.

Any campus your daughter can surround herself with people who's beliefs match up with hers. There should be a campus crusade for Christ on every campus pretty much. There's Lutheran Campus Ministry, Methodist, Baptist, ect organizations. And they tend to be small tight groups. CCC is usually a bigger group. I knew people at Montana State that were in sororities that were very active in CCC. At U of Idaho I went to a church that was very good to students and was a nice support group.

I know Mormon people who are all good people. The boys all were married before they left college. Their wives don't have degrees. The two girls did wait until after college I will say. One was almost 30.

Ultimately let your daughter make her choice. On her place of college and her field of study. She'll probably change the filed of study a few times. Don't try to plan it all out right now. Let her use college as a time to grow and learn. Who she is personally and who she is in this world. Let her make mistakes and learn how to correct them herself, of course helping when she asks.

I live in Bozeman. I can find people that are party people and I can find people that don't do anything. Really easily. So if I want to live a certain way, I can seek those people out and segregate myself to only them. Its REALLY easy. Some campuses have dorms that are catering to people that either want to have people of the opposite sex escorted 24 hours a day, or say after 10 and noone of opposite sex in the room after those times. In Bozeman, it was Hannon. Maybe still is. But the other dorms it doesn't matter. At PLU, the all girls dorm was and we hide to hide in a room one night because we spaced the time and couldn't walk out. But in my dorm, no problems. You make of it what you want.

Check out Carroll College in Helena, MT. Really good nursing program. Small private catholic school. They have rules I think you would like. Close skiing is at Great Divide. Skiing is really feast or famine there though. Some years are awesome. A little further is Showdown. But Bridger Bowl would be 1.5 hours away. If she really enjoys the slopes.

 

[brsnow]

I went to a school that was religion-based for a while. There was plenty of things going on you'd not want for your daughter. But that I enjoyed. lol.

Any campus your daughter can surround herself with people who's beliefs match up with hers. There should be a campus crusade for Christ on every campus pretty much. There's Lutheran Campus Ministry, Methodist, Baptist, ect organizations. And they tend to be small tight groups. CCC is usually a bigger group. I knew people at Montana State that were in sororities that were very active in CCC. At U of Idaho I went to a church that was very good to students and was a nice support group.

I know Mormon people who are all good people. The boys all were married before they left college. Their wives don't have degrees. The two girls did wait until after college I will say. One was almost 30.

Ultimately let your daughter make her choice. On her place of college and her field of study. She'll probably change the filed of study a few times. Don't try to plan it all out right now. Let her use college as a time to grow and learn. Who she is personally and who she is in this world. Let her make mistakes and learn how to correct them herself, of course helping when she asks.

I live in Bozeman. I can find people that are party people and I can find people that don't do anything. Really easily. So if I want to live a certain way, I can seek those people out and segregate myself to only them. Its REALLY easy. Some campuses have dorms that are catering to people that either want to have people of the opposite sex escorted 24 hours a day, or say after 10 and noone of opposite sex in the room after those times. In Bozeman, it was Hannon. Maybe still is. But the other dorms it doesn't matter. At PLU, the all girls dorm was and we hide to hide in a room one night because we spaced the time and couldn't walk out. But in my dorm, no problems. You make of it what you want.

Check out Carroll College in Helena, MT. Really good nursing program. Small private catholic school. They have rules I think you would like. Close skiing is at Great Divide. Skiing is really feast or famine there though. Some years are awesome. A little further is Showdown. But Bridger Bowl would be 1.5 hours away. If she really enjoys the slopes.

I agree with the wild nature at religious schools, my college was in the same town as one. At the end of the day, behavior is up to the individual, not the school.

 

[2ski]

I grew up in So Cal and also loved to ski and outdoors. I went to BYU and loved every minute of it. Yes I am a Member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I met my wife there. She grew up in San Diego. We got married after she graduated and didn’t have kids until I graduated and was in Grad school.

I agree with you the types of kids she meets in college will go a long way in determining her long term relationship s

I'll disagree. The type of people she meets but then CHOOSES to associate with in college. She'll meet people but she makes the choice to associate with them. Outside of her roommate, the people she hangs out with will be who she chooses. She could go to school in liberal Missoula, but they won't corrupt her. She will choose to let them or not. The world is not some big bad evil place that corrupts people without them having choice. You educate them young so that they can start making choices when they get put on their own and thats when they let the world corrupt them or not. And you make her aware when she goes to college, here are some groups to go to so you can meet people. Not to say bad things can't happen, but being corrupted is a choice.

Like mentioned above, I went to the U of ID. Seeking out Lutheran Campus Ministries was the only thing that got me through that year. I hated that place. But I at least had support. But it goes to show you how preparing before getting to campus is wise. It shouldn't be drop her off at school and okay now go find friends. But people do that and that's where they end up in the wrong groups because they're lonely and they need friends.

And on the converse, when I went to MSU I joined a Fraternity. Yeah we had fun. But almost all the guys in my life that would bleed for me came from that group.

 

[Scoot]

Where does she want to go?

This! I think it's great you're trying to collect info and help with an informed decision. However, if you make the decision for her, I think that's a mistake in the end. It's got to be her choice, IMO. But, I'm not you and that's just my opinion... Also, sending her to a place where "people don't have pre-marital sex and don't party" is delusional. She is going to college-- if she's going to find trouble, she'll do that anywhere. If she's going live a virtuous and clean life, she'll likely do that anywhere too. The notion that you'll control that through the school that is selected is not overly realistic. Sounds like you've done a good job of raising a level-headed girl. She'll likely do well where ever she goes... I wish her, and you, good luck!!!

 

[Squincher]

Where she wants to go is all well and good, and she certainly needs to have a say, but Dad gets a say as well if he is footing the bill.

 

[brsnow]

Where she wants to go is all well and good, and she certainly needs to have a say, but Dad gets a say as well if he is footing the bill.

Where she wants to go is all well and good, and she certainly needs to have a say, but Dad gets a say as well if he is footing the bill.

no doubt, I have seen kids bypass parental support to forge their own way as well. Never dull.

 

[Billinsd]

I'll disagree. The type of people she meets but then CHOOSES to associate with in college. She'll meet people but she makes the choice to associate with them. Outside of her roommate, the people she hangs out with will be who she chooses. She could go to school in liberal Missoula, but they won't corrupt her. She will choose to let them or not. The world is not some big bad evil place that corrupts people without them having choice. You educate them young so that they can start making choices when they get put on their own and thats when they let the world corrupt them or not. And you make her aware when she goes to college, here are some groups to go to so you can meet people. Not to say bad things can't happen, but being corrupted is a choice.

Absolutely agree. It's up to the individual and their upbringing. Knowing my daughter she'd like to go a college with a serious ton, but not too serious. For example we went to Standford and the atmosphere was serious but most of the kids looked happy and were smiling. She liked Stanford. She went to UC San Diego a couple of times and definitely does not like the vibe. LOL neither do I. No one will make eye contact, kids look clicky in ethnic groups, feels like a big black cloud is above. She went to UC Irvine and liked the vibe and atmosphere. She went to Caltech and when the tour guide glowed about how much fun she had staying up all night talking about theoretical science and math, my daughter definitely didn't think that kind of activity would be the kind of social activity she'd like to chill with. My daughter is extremely serious and also likes to chill out and be a teenager. She loves to be outside and is very athletic.

 

[Billinsd]

Where she wants to go is all well and good, and she certainly needs to have a say, but Dad gets a say as well if he is footing the bill.

Mom and dad will have to approve. We won't force her to go someplace she doesn't want to and won't disapprove of places or careers that we don't think are ideal for her. We ultimately want her to be happy and independent. We won't allow her to go to some school and not apply herself. If she insists on a college and or career that we think is bad for her, we will talk with her. Ultimately, we want her to understand what's she's getting herself into and we will not support her forever. She needs to understand careers, the pay, the benefits, the downsides. She does say she wants to make a lot of money and live in a beach house. I tried to persuade her of wanting materialistic things.

 

[Billinsd]

This! I think it's great you're trying to collect info and help with an informed decision. However, if you make the decision for her, I think that's a mistake in the end. It's got to be her choice, IMO. But, I'm not you and that's just my opinion... Also, sending her to a place where "people don't have pre-marital sex and don't party" is delusional.

Right, we won't make the decision, however we are gently guiding her. Right about places that don't party or have sex, that is delusional. On the other hand I don't want to send her to Chico State or SDSU. My daughter wouldn't like a true party school, because she is serious. She'd like a serious, rigorous academic college that isn't too serious and that the kids are happy and social.