Am I a jerk? (Read before voting)

Am I a huge jerk???

  • Yes

    Votes: 375 83.0%
  • No

    Votes: 77 17.0%

  • Total voters
    452
Joined
Mar 16, 2021
Messages
3,574
Location
Western Iowa
Yes.
1st season- my daughters planned to shoot the first buck that walked in front of them. They were 10 and 12. SUCCESS
2nd season- our agreement was the deer simply had to be bigger than year 1. SUCCESS
3rd season- they were looking forward to mature racked bucks and were willing to pass/wait. SUCCESS
4th season- they were looking for mature racked bucks, and willing to pass/wait for trophy. FAIL. My youngest passed several bucks and ended up eating her tag after 8 sits in Dec. My oldest passed many bucks and ended up shooting a doe the last day of the season (1.10) after 15 sits in Dec. and Jan.

I've never carried a gun or held a tag in the seasons they hunted. I simply enjoy mentoring and teaching them and sometimes sharing in the celebration of a successful hunt. IMHO, they need to be an active participant in every aspect of the hunt including planning, strategy, and setting personal expectations. Once decisions are made, we stick with them, for better or worse.
 

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ODB

WKR
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Mar 24, 2016
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N.F.D.
I’ve never bought into the “it’s for the kids” stuff. Imbue them with that mindset and it becomes the expectation. Kids catch on fast to this stuff…I’ve got stories. Kids need a carrot on a string more than they need a piece of cake.

then again, the “I deserve a little something” is kind dumb. Just set the expectation of what is an acceptable deer and if it shows up, it shows up.

If you take your kid hunting as a mentor, it’s his hunt. If you ask him if he wants to go on your hunt with you, it’s your hunt. That decision is made before you leave the house, not when a deer shows up. The kid has to learn that he too can go on a hunt and not pull the trigger


i took my daughter fishing last weekend as a mentor, she got first crack at everything. I only had the rod when she felt she had played the area out - her decision - when I pulled trout out of the same water she thought was empty, it became instructional. When we moved, it was her go, using what she had just learned by watching me. She got better.

my .02c
 
OP
S
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
1,034
Well damn, I voted no lol.

1. Not shooting small muley bucks because lack of population. That just makes sense.

2. I think you worded it extra selfish than you needed to, but I got it lol. "I'm hunting for giants bucks and spending time with my son. He's hunting for experience and spending time with his dad." Sounds cut and dry to me. You didn't need the crappy explanation about putting time in and how you earned it and stuff haha. But good on you for getting him out in the field! Also, nobody appreciates things they haven't worked hard for. That includes little kids slamming giant deer lol.

I agree that your wording is better, and my wording makes it seem extra egoish which isn't my intent or feeling. as I've stated so far this hasn't happened in the field and this has been a great sounding board.

I have no guilt what so ever about saying no on small mulie bucks. In our area you could kill 10 small whitetails and they will fill back in and still have good deer, but the Mulies are limited and we are trying to bring their numbers up. Looking at deer pictures this year saying shoot or pass (for him) so far he is being more restrictive on himself than I am for Mulies. He also gets the option of a mulie every year where I can only hunt them every 2nd or 3rd year. White tails he will probably tag the first one that walks by and then hunt for a better one which was a success for him last year.

Appreciate the feed back!
 
OP
S
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
1,034
Yes.
1st season- my daughters planned to shoot the first buck that walked in front of them. They were 10 and 12. SUCCESS
2nd season- our agreement was the deer simply had to be bigger than year 1. SUCCESS
3rd season- they were looking forward to mature racked bucks and were willing to pass/wait. SUCCESS
4th season- they were looking for mature racked bucks, and willing to pass/wait for trophy. FAIL. My youngest passed several bucks and ended up eating her tag after 8 sits in Dec. My oldest passed many bucks and ended up shooting a doe the last day of the season (1.10) after 15 sits in Dec. and Jan.

I've never carried a gun or held a tag in the seasons they hunted. I simply enjoy mentoring and teaching them and sometimes sharing in the celebration of a successful hunt. IMHO, they need to be an active participant in every aspect of the hunt including planning, strategy, and setting personal expectations. Once decisions are made, we stick with them, for better or worse.
Awesome work! Appreciate the feed back!
 

jmez

WKR
Joined
Jun 12, 2012
Messages
7,558
Location
Piedmont, SD
Really no reply needed other than a yes vote. Just leave the kid at home and enjoy YOUR hunt.
 

realunlucky

Super Moderator
Staff member
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Jan 20, 2013
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Eastern Utah
I voted hell yes. Hope someone else will offer to take him out for a better experience.

Sent from my moto z3 using Tapatalk
 
Joined
Nov 7, 2012
Messages
8,068
Location
S. UTAH
Not a lot of mule deer? Shooting a small buck wont matter a bit to overall populations. Your 2nd point is completely selfish. Now one exception would be the buck is out of the kids effective range.

I dont have kids but introduced my wife to hunting. She gets to shoot whatever animal she wants regardless of size. If a booner walked out it would be her shot unless I felt it was beyond her ability.
 

LaHunter

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Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
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N.E. LA
So here's the deal last year was my son's first year to be able to shoot a deer, this year is his second year and he's pumped.

However my mother and father think I am a monster. . . All because I have a couple of rules for him.

Rule #1 no small mulie bucks (our mulie population is low and Forky's are dumber than a box of rocks, let them grow)

#2 until your old enough to sit alone Dad (me) is shooting anything Bigger than what I already have at home!

That's it, those are the only rules. My son is perfectly ok with this because he knows most years I'm not shooting a deer and he's going to get to shoot two bucks and a few does. He also knows in a few more years he will sit by himself and shoot whatever he wants. Basically I don't want to spoil the poor kid if some monster walks out, and I've put in my time and all the work for these spots I deserve a little something right? So let me have it am I jerk if I shoot a trophy buck in front of my kid when he's holding a tag?

For reference his white tail range is doe to about 150 inch deer and his mulie range is mature buck up to 170inch class.
Having raised 3 kids who I took hunting, you are being unreasonable (there are better adjectives to describe your position than ‘jerk’ that I will not use). When I took my kids hunting, it was about them and I was the guide. Let him shoot the first legal animal for his 1st.
 
Joined
Jul 17, 2018
Messages
1,357
Location
NW Arkansas
My 12 year old missed a monster Mulie this year with a Muzzleloader. I was sitting right next to him holding the video camera. Wouldn’t change that at all.

He is my third son and trust me, once they kill a few, they will put their own limits in place.
 

CJohnson

WKR
Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
337
Location
SC
I don’t think you’re a jerk. I take my kids hunting and haven’t really been in that situation, but I remember growing up with kids who’s dads got them all set up on big deer for their first hunts. They didn’t take any time to appreciate all the work their dads did to get everything prepped and ready. All they had to do was get up, sit in a box stand a few hours and pull a trigger when a big buck walked out. I don’t think that’s a great experience for a kid. I grew up in the woods with my grandfather scouting stand locations, prepping shooting lanes, planting food plots, etc. all that time meant more to me than pulling the trigger on an animal. I also think that’s why I enjoy hunting now as an adult. There’s a lot more to it than sitting and pulling the trigger.
 

CorbLand

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Joined
Mar 16, 2016
Messages
7,824
Point 1. I can semi understand, if the kid has a reasonable chance at killing a whitetail if he cant kill a mule deer. If it gets down to the last couple days and theres a little guy standing there, let him shoot it. Sometimes you have to give kids a little bit of success to keep them going but this depends on each kid. I have a friend that his uncles hunted hard, even when they took their kids. My friends dad took it easy and made it fun. I dont need to tell you which ones still hunt with their dad and which ones dont hunt period.

Point 2. The only way I would use the term "jerk" here is to tell you to jerk that stick you got shoved up your ass out. The day you had kids, you gave up the right to be selfish and that is exactly what that rule is. Nothing more and nothing less.

At some point, it becomes the parents decision what role they will play in their kids lives. Kids will remember things and when they start to recognize things, it gets hard. Your kid probably doesnt understand the second rule and what it is but when he has the ability, he will recognize it for what it is. Choose now what role you want to play in your kids life.
 
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Eyeman

FNG
Joined
Oct 8, 2021
Messages
79
You must not want everyone giving you crap that your kid shot a Buck bigger than yours.
Just kidding.
 

3forks

WKR
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Oct 4, 2014
Messages
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I’m not much into touchy-feely and overly sensitive child rearing, but someone told me a long time ago that when I kid comes into your life, it’s an opportunity for you to learn as much from them as they do from you becuase they’re a blank slate.

What you’re teaching your kid by taking the course of action you are is your selfishness, greed, comparisons, and judgements.

Kids largely only know what their parents teach them, and are a reflection of their parents. Maybe consider that you’re wrong here, and re-evaluate what you want to teach your kid.
 
Joined
May 10, 2015
Messages
2,473
Location
Timberline
Well damn, I voted no lol.

1. Not shooting small muley bucks because lack of population. That just makes sense.

It makes more sense to just exercise self control and not shoot one at all. A deer is a deer and in a low population environment, why not let the big breeder bucks do their thing?

You take the breeder buck out and leave the immature one alive, well, that just isn't logical at all...
 

svivian

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Joined
Mar 16, 2016
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Colorado
Which are you taking more pride in, the property you are raising bucks on or your son harvesting a bigger buck than you? Or should I ask which is a bigger priority to you? Which will you remember longer than the other? Which will he remember longer? Theres going to be a day he is taking care of the farm and you won't be able to go hunting alone anymore..... guess who will be pulling the trigger if a monster buck comes out if you set these rules. Food for thought
 

M-Wig

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
May 8, 2018
Messages
108
Location
Texas
1. First point I am okay with to a degree.

2. Can't see doing this. Much rather my kid kill a big deer than me.

Dan Infalt said he would interview kids who had shot really big deer. Said it was hardly ever the kid who had the parent that really wanted the kid to kill a deer that shot the big ones. It was the kid with a hardcore dad that wanted the big deer to himself so he would put the kid in a spot no one thought would be productive. Lo and behold that's where ol big was hanging the whole time and the kid takes him down.
 
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