Advice on Dating as a hunter

[Spartan]

As a man dating women throughout my 20's and now 30's, I can offer a few observations and advice. I've found, in general, women tend to age and mature a lot around 24-28 y.o, and their personalities tend to be pretty stable after that (men, 30's on up, or never). Allow yourself to take these years to figure out yourself, address some insecurities, make mistakes, meet lots of people, and consider world views outside your own. To me, the most important qualities in a partner are kindness, intelligence, friendly, and capable with life skills. My advice, man to woman, is allow yourself to grow freely while nurturing these positive traits. Don't discriminate against others or put people down, be friends with anyone, and be kind and respectful to everyone. Most importantly, respect yourself. Don't put up with a man who doesn't treat you with kindness and love and respect that you show others. If you think you love someone and want to marry them within a year, don't. Re-evaluate your relationship with honesty after a year and don't be afraid to move on. There's a difference between love and lust/infatuation. Allow yourself to feel those emotions, but don't mistake or be consumed by them. Those feelings eventually pass and you can look at things more objectively with time. Trust your friends and family; they can see whether or not you're in a healthy relationship, and they're almost always right. Men will flock to you if you're a high value woman who treats everyone (not just people you're attracted to) with kindness... but don't give guys the wrong signals and make them think you're interested if you're not. Guys are stupid and obviously can't read the situation.

Besides that, date lots of people, be friends with even more people, and enjoy a world full of people without expectations. Make yourself beautiful and the world will reflect that.

That’s good advice, especially about waiting a year for perspective and on listening to my friends and family. I definitely think you’re right about that. Thank you! I hope you find success in the dating sphere as well!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Spartan]

“Settle down with” should be “enjoy life with”. Don’t settle for anything and be who you want to be. I feel sad for a lot of folks who just settle and take what they’re given. Go be you and the rest will work itself out. You don’t sound like you need a man and for a good one that is one of the most attractive qualities.

That’s a good point. I definitely want a family sometime down the road, but I’d rather not marry than settle for someone. Thank you very much for the advice!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Lionhound1975]

I enjoyed reading the comments on this thread. I'm glad that you have established that you will not settle on guys that hook up with frat boys... LOL.

I have a son who is a freshman in college and probably around your age so my advice probably sounds very dad-biased. But to add to the priceless nuggets on this thread, here goes...

There are plenty of good guys that like women who love hunting and the outdoors. The issue I have seen is that some men, especially younger, more immature guys but some older guys as well, get intimidated by women that also hunt and shoot. It is as if their skill (or lack of) as a hunter and outdoorsman is directly tied to their ego and the thought of a girl being able to outshoot them puts them into a tizzy and makes them feel like less of a man. Needless to say, I would avoid those kinds of guys like the plague. On the flip side, the decent guys out there will not be looking for competition in a relationship, if they were they would just date their hunting partners.

I'm in federal law enforcement and have worked with a number of women in my career. One of them was my partner for a few years and I saw some of the challenges she had as a very attractive woman in her late 20s trying to date. Some men would learn she was a federal agent and carried a pistol off-duty and would freak out. She was very much a "girly girl" and was much more Bath/Body Works and Kate Spade than 5.11 or Kryptek. Other guys she went out with, even some who were also in law enforcement or military, would also act weird if they went to the range and they saw how good she was with her pistol. I guess dating a woman who was very, very good with her service weapon was a deal killer and made them feel insecure... I was just glad to have a partner who I could trust 100% in a situation that was quickly going south.

Like others have said in this thread, the most important thing is to be you, have a "what you see is what you get" attitude, and not lower your personal standards or change who you are in order to try and be more desirable. Being an enthusiastic hunter who loves the outdoors does not make you any less of a lady and avoid any guy who thinks or treats you otherwise.

Also, especially as a young woman, be very careful on internet dating sites, there are some weirdos out there but there are also some truly evil and dangerous people. I am not trying to be misogynistic, but I will call a spade a spade because there are some dangers out there that affect young women much more than young men. I told my son before he got too enthusiastic about some dream girl online to be aware that that person could be some fat dude with a neckbeard in his underwear typing on the other side of the connection. That cooled him down a little. The internet is a great place to pretend to be something we are not...

 

[Spartan]

I enjoyed reading the comments on this thread. I'm glad that you have established that you will not settle on guys that hook up with frat boys... LOL.

I have a son who is a freshman in college and probably around your age so my advice probably sounds very dad-biased. But to add to the priceless nuggets on this thread, here goes...

There are plenty of good guys that like women who love hunting and the outdoors. The issue I have seen is that some men, especially younger, more immature guys but some older guys as well, get intimidated by women that also hunt and shoot. It is as if their skill (or lack of) as a hunter and outdoorsman is directly tied to their ego and the thought of a girl being able to outshoot them puts them into a tizzy and makes them feel like less of a man. Needless to say, I would avoid those kinds of guys like the plague. On the flip side, the decent guys out there will not be looking for competition in a relationship, if they were they would just date their hunting partners.

I'm in federal law enforcement and have worked with a number of women in my career. One of them was my partner for a few years and I saw some of the challenges she had as a very attractive woman in her late 20s trying to date. Some men would learn she was a federal agent and carried a pistol off-duty and would freak out. She was very much a "girly girl" and was much more Bath/Body Works and Kate Spade than 5.11 or Kryptek. Other guys she went out with, even some who were also in law enforcement or military, would also act weird if they went to the range and they saw how good she was with her pistol. I guess dating a woman who was very, very good with her service weapon was a deal killer and made them feel insecure... I was just glad to have a partner who I could trust 100% in a situation that was quickly going south.

Like others have said in this thread, the most important thing is to be you, have a "what you see is what you get" attitude, and not lower your personal standards or change who you are in order to try and be more desirable. Being an enthusiastic hunter who loves the outdoors does not make you any less of a lady and avoid any guy who thinks or treats you otherwise.

Also, especially as a young woman, be very careful on internet dating sites, there are some weirdos out there but there are also some truly evil and dangerous people. I am not trying to be misogynistic, but I will call a spade a spade because there are some dangers out there that affect young women much more than young men. I told my son before he got too enthusiastic about some dream girl online to be aware that that person could be some fat dude with a neckbeard in his underwear typing on the other side of the connection. That cooled him down a little. The internet is a great place to pretend to be something we are not...

Thank you so much for the advice! I’m glad you mentioned your partner, as it is nice to know that I am not the only one who has experienced this. Misery loves company, as they say. But seriously, I’m glad other people have dealt with this before.

I also appreciate the advice on online dating. I have been very hesitant to start online dating for this reason. While I know it would give me the chance to meet people I might not otherwise run into, I also have some serious doubts that most of the people on there would have the right motives. Obviously good people exist on there, but I won’t pretend that I have the worldly experience needed to pick them out based on their profile. I might try online dating at some point, but right now I want to hold off as it concerns me.

Thank you!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[TheGDog]

Don't let your desire to be paired up exert internal pressure upon you to hurry that process along, this ALWAYS creates expensive mistakes that cost you TIME.

Know your value an worth you bring to the table, as compared to most other people.

This will help you more readily know/detect when this other person is not deserving of the caliber of person you are!

Me being a city dude, that got into hunting later in life, if I had it to do over again? I'd be soo stoked to find some chic that was down to hunt! That basically doesn't exist out here on the West Coast. I'm sure there are some, but probably more rare than teeth on a chicken.

Do make sure you're doing your part to also regularly be that pretty girl he first noticed!

It's soo great that you already know these things about yourself. Do NOT worry about your passions being "off-putting" that just means those particular guys were not meant for you that's all. And probably not confident in themselves yet.

SIDE NOTE: If any little voice in your head, gives you any bad feelings about a new suitor... ABORT MISSION!!!

That little voice is your sub-conscious trying to tell you that something seems familiar here, but not in a good way. You get those feelings? Bounce!


SIDE NOTE-> In Today's age... you have to EXPLICITLY tell that other person if you want them to be exclusively dating only you. Do not be foolish and think they are being exclusive right from the beginning. They are foolish as well if they don't ask that question of you.

 

[Where's Bruce?]

Give up on the guys, find a partner like this and get rich producing backcountry videos. JMO

 

[Clearedhot1]

Here’s my advice: Be like Jesus, and love them all.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Insomnia]

As a junior in college: worry about your grades. If you're at a point where your grades aren't a worry, you either screwed up really bad and you won't have time for a boyfriend anyways, or you're in a really good place in life and if you just let things come, it'll probably come eventually. Unfortunately I am in the former case myself, so sometimes I see posts like this online and realize I should really get my shit together soon, because I'm kinda running out of time.

 

[Marbles]

Two things to contemplate (you don't need to answer them here, and the answer may change with time).
-Are you looking to date or are you looking to find a life partner? The two are different, but share some similarities.
-Why are you looking for one or the other?

These are geared toward finding a life partner more than dating.
-Know the things you cannot live with, now the signs of these things. Have a low threshold for ending relationships early of these. This list should be focused and uncompromising.
-Remember, many of the things we think we want in a spouse are just that, wants. Be flexible on required characteristics.
-As long as preferences are not opposed (one person wants to live in a city and the other wants to homestead in Alaska), character is what matters most. Refine your ability to judge character, it will serve you well. Too often our society mistakes bravado for strength. Given your user name and avatar, if you have not already, read Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield. Compare it to the movie 300. One of the two represents bravado and teaches nothing of value, while the other has much to offer, yet they are both fictionalizations of the same events.
-If looking for a life partner, beyond the first stage of building interest, don't only put your best foot forward. Make sure they know who you actually are, and realize that if that causes them to reject you they were a waste of your time anyway. While there are things we should work on changing about ourselves, those should be directed at making ourselves better people, not at making one person happy. Plus, the process of self improvement can be slow and is life long, you want someone who is onboard with that and is along to grow with you.

Final advice, don't need a significant other. The need will get in the way of acquiring one. Learn to be content being single and you will be available if the right person comes along. If you come from a background were it is instilled that a woman needs a man, I recommend ditching the idea as I have seen that way of thinking lead to a lot of needless pain for women I grew up with.

 

[TheGDog]

NEVER think you are "running out of time" because that mindset will cause you to exert an inner pressure upon yourself to meet some kinda "deadline" in order to "be on track" in terms of potentially having kids. This will essentially cause you to EFF-up and make you not pay attention to all things about this other person perhaps as closely as you should.

Also.. let's say you're now paired up with someone, and are considering making it permanent.

>>> Does this person, for you, pass "The Mack Truck Test?" <<<

"The Mack Truck Test" =
If this person, were to get hit by a Mack Truck, the very next day after you guys get married.. and it turned them into a life-long forever vegetable... would you, because you purportedly "love" this person... would you be willing to continue on with that relationship for the rest of their days? Because you know and truly believe if the tables were turned they'd totally be down for you? If NOT? ABORT MISSION!!!

This above test is EXTREMELY important... because there are no guarantees in this life, and this literally could happen to the two of you the very next day. So if that other person is Bona-fide "Ride-or-Die" then you're straight. But if you have any doubts about them, or you, being able to step up to the plate in this regard. It's time to ABORT MISSION!!!.... at the very least until the one that's not ready, is ready.

ALSO... if it looks like things could get serious...and you're considering advancing it to the next level of we both agree to proceed to the goal of marriage... you NEED to know both their credit rating and their outstanding liabilities/debts. This person could be amazing in terms of how they treat you and make you feel... but if they're a phuqqing idiot in terms of what they're willing to carry debt for, and how much they're willing to needlessly carry... then cut your losses and bounce. Remember, the moment you marry, you become somebody the loaning institution could pursue, for repayment of that debt, should they default for any reason. Also... it is the combined credit rating of the two of you which will determine the lending rate you qualify for, for a home loan. So the consequences of not making yourself familiar with these aspects of a potential partner could literally "cost you" for a long time.

 

[CoHiCntry]

Wow… didn’t know there were so many relationship experts on Rokslide.