Administrative buzz phrases

[Pochuck]

 

[hoosierhunter11]

"Lead without authority", "let's drive this home", "how fast can you deliver/execute this"

 

[supersonic_g&t]

In my inbox just now after a meeting was cancelled: “…give everyone found time.”

And as often “ok, that’s all we’ve got so we’ll end early and give you XX minutes of your day back.”

Haha, cant go a day without someone pulling the "give you xx minutes back" routine! Had one yesterday say "I'll give you all back 1 minute of your time," like it's the only why he knows to close out a meeting...

 

[JohnnyB]

My buddy works for Bureau of Prisons. The previous administration appointed a director that made it policy to no longer use the term "inmate", the better option is "future neighbor".

I had to ask him what do you call future neighbors with a life sentence?

 

[TaperPin]

“Merit-based pay” in a family run company.

The family members always have more merit than non family. Lol

 

[tuffcity]

"Off the side of your desk". FFS... when they want something done but need it to be deniable or they don't want to pay overtime.

A couple of not used corporate sayings:

"failing up"... generally used to describe some one who should have been fired but is promoted instead.
"I fail to understand" a phrase employed by some people who never "seek to understand".


But maybe I'm just jaded because I pulled the retirement chute due to an individual who fits the above 2 criteria.

 

[CorbLand]

My buddy works for Bureau of Prisons. The previous administration appointed a director that made it policy to no longer use the term "inmate", the better option is "future neighbor".

I had to ask him what do you call future neighbors with a life sentence?

Maybe you are looking at it backwards and its future neighbor because we all are going to be in jail together?

 

[jjohnsonElknewbie]

As a counterpoint:
If they answered the question in a timely manner this wouldn't have been a problem. I dealt with a crapload of mid level management that expected everyting right now, but couldn't answer time sensitive questions (that threatened the very delivery they wanted) to save their lives.

Oh heck yeah, a shared sense of urgency would be so nice in those situations.

 

[D_Dubya]

Now days people use "myself" incorrectly in an attempt to sound smarter. It drives me nuts.

No doubt the improper use of reflexive pronouns aggravates myself like no other….

It is bad enough to hear people say it, but seeing it written out makes me doubt the intelligence of the writer to the point I usually just hit “delete” if encountered.

 

[Billogna]

people utilize the word "utilize" way too much nowadays.

"Modality" was always one of my favorite barf words.

"Initiatives" was a great way to say that they were gonna talk about something in an important way and form some ideas about doing stuff... but not actually do anything.

 

[timberland]

I have an engineer that works for my parent company, and daily, when pushed to a task, replies "I'll take a look at that" and then never gets back or closes the loop.

It is now a running joke that when someone is "going to take a look at that", it's just a flat out, "Not gonna do that"

 

[Poser]

With some time to think about it, I have some more:

"Let's park this"
"Disruptive innovation"
"Core Competency"
"actionable insights"
"Value proposition"
"Paradigm shift"
"360-degree feedback"

The manager who can't hold a conversation about anything without mentioning "KPIs"

 

[NWBLKTAIL]

The best one I ever got that I still use today for a good laugh
“There’s the truth, theres lies, and then there is what I believe”

Other good ones I can’t remember right now,
everyone was referred to as “partner”

Another guy same place
“We have to think about the dynamic here” every time he F’d up and tried to crawl his way out of responsibility

 

[Swamp Fox]

No doubt the improper use of reflexive pronouns aggravates myself like no other….

It is bad enough to hear people say it, but seeing it written out makes me doubt the intelligence of the writer to the point I usually just hit “delete” if encountered.

Please reach out to your parents, teachers, and myself if you need further clarification of this play. Going forward, we recommend non-compliance only for those directives that make no sense, and may God have mercy on your soul.

 

[eddielasvegas]

Boy, did I forget quickly in my nine months since leaving the corporate world in my rear view mirror, but this thread has brought back some bad, bad memories.

I did just think of another one that was common in my group.

"What's your use case?" when an end user wanted to add functionality to ServiceNow.


Eddie

 

[flyfisher117]

The phrase of the year in my company has been "challenge tradition"

Being a younger/newer employee i challenge it often. Just to have the old balls gas light me, shut me down, then explain to the oblivious management why we do it the way we do it.

 

[tony]

I work in healthcare. The two I hear all the time that just make my eyeballs twitch are

“We do what’s best for the customer.” They are patients. This isn’t Walmart.

“Joint Commission preparedness.”

Eff you JCo. I’ll have my water bottle wherever I want.

Dude get a prison gig.

All that is a no go/ doesn't happen!

All I have to do is an assessment and be respectful. The rest of the ass kissing for survey points don't happen.

And to be fair, most my inmates are educated, smart, respectful, and can hold a conversation.
I have to take a second and remember why they are locked up with some of them.

 

[supersonic_g&t]

Someone mentioned stretch goals earlier. At my work there are plenty of "stretch opportunities" as well - which is when they pile a bunch of extra bs work on you without a promotion or pay raise.

Had one guy quite and they just threw all his responsibilities on someone else as a "stretch opportunity." Then they talked down to the guy because he wasn't doing both jobs as well as two people had!

 

[COJoe]

Our new company is said to be "data driven"....

Here's one of my favorite responses to an email I had sent one of our IT engineers, "Within the application, you can define the watermark for utilization." I told the other guys in our office area I would pay them $10.00 if they could find a way to use that phrase during the day, lol. FYI, this was to explain to me how to set the storage limit for recorded video on a network server.

 

[Grumman]

“100%” is getting thrown into use instead of yes way too much


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