Administrative buzz phrases

[Poser]

For humor in this area, I recommend following the Reddit sub "LinkedIn Lunatics"

 

[EastHumboldt]

I worked for a local government for 26 years as a building maintenance technician, and as superintendent of the maintenance division. We had a poster in our office that listed the five phases of a project as follows:

Enthusiasm
Budget cutbacks
disillusionment
search for the guilty,
praise and honors for non-participants

I’m surprised nobody ever made us take it down.

I was very fortunate, in that my boss was an intelligent pragmatic and energetic leader who was fond of getting things done instead of spewing buzzwords. His boss was the city manager, a revolving door position, and buzzwords were pretty common.

 

[MTtrout]

“How can we make sure your work obligations don’t interfere with your hunting season”

 

[Swamp Fox]

opportunity--

as in we have an opportunity in such-and-such area.

no, you have a problem in such-and-such area and need to figure out a way to fix it that doesn't involve doing the same ole thing you've been doing all this time such as not assigning enough man-hours to the task or using tools that are basically unusable or just not understanding wtf goes on around here in the first place ...

 

[longspeak74]

Bandwidth - our company president uses this term constantly, it's maddening.

 

[5811]

As per my previous post, Im going to put a pin in this thread and circle back to huddle up with the team.

 

[Ucsdryder]

my wife’s company doesn’t have employees and managers, they have team mates and team leads.

 

[LongWayAround]

Bandwidth - our company president uses this term constantly, it's maddening.

"I don't have the bandwidth."

 

[Milestone522]

I had this at my desk in the Detective Division until I retired. Worked great for responding to emails from Admin Staff.

 

[COJoe]

Be the best you.
so stupid and gets our company nowhere...

Ok one more. When you tell someone thank you, they respond with, of course!. That really bugs me, just say You're welcome.

 

[MallardSX2]

“From cradle to grave”


I despise that. It makes my freaking skin crawl. I actually told one of my guys that if he didn’t stop using it I was going to stop letting him in client meetings.

 

[MallardSX2]

“Pull back the curtain” another one I don’t like. It’s weird. I hear upper level management use it all the time.

 

[dribeerfeht]

Opportunity for excellence

 

[mgray34]

Game Changer

 

[mgray34]

Paradigm Shift

 

[supersonic_g&t]

SME (subject matter expert). Particularly bothersome when someone is saying "SME" multiple times in a meeting like, "I consulted the SME and the SME recommended..." Are you just trying to be annoying !!

 

[mxgsfmdpx]

Two from this week…

“Let’s circle back on that” I found out actually means they have no clue how to answer the question and will never actually “circle back” to it at all.

I told a “senior director” from an OEM partner that I didn’t think we needed the call to be weekly anymore given the current state of the project and suggested meeting every other week. His response was “I’d like to stick to the current cadence for a while longer”. Nobody actually talks like that dude.

 

[Dave_]

On job description: "Other duties as assigned "

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

 

[COJoe]

Nobody actually talks like that dude.

That is the true rub with these dumb statements, no one goes home and talks with their spouse and family or neighbors that way. I need to write down the saying one of our IT engineers used on me the other day, it was ridiculous. I've had to email him back and ask him what the heck he's actually saying.....

 

[BRTreedogs]

That is the true rub with these dumb statements, no one goes home and talks with their spouse and family or neighbors that way. I need to write down the saying one of our IT engineers used on me the other day, it was ridiculous. I've had to email him back and ask him what the heck he's actually saying.....

Idk man
I think some of those dorks do.

Like in the movie step bros where his wife hates him and is trying to climb in dales pants