Your Emotional Intelligence or Handling Stress Tips/ Habits

[WhatToHunt]

I try to remember to focus on what I can control and block out the things I can't control. I'm sadly not always able to do this, but I do try.

 

[loganwayne]

I start every week with making a list of all my projects, what they need done this week. then break that down to what needs done daily. I try to not think about the what ifs there are to many to worry about and just deal with what I know is coming up.

keeping track of what's going on makes things less stressful. I also try to leave the office for lunch, even if its just to walk around outside for 30-45 minutes.

when I get home I spend 10-15 minutes outside with the dogs and wind down (some do this on the drive home but I live pretty close to my office) and then don't look at my work emails once home and try not to answer work phone calls or texts.

 

[5MilesBack]

I stress over the things I can't control, if I could control them.......there would be no reason to stress over them.

 

[awasome]

In most situations a knee jerk reaction isn't necessary. Stop, think about the situation, and come up with a suitable response.

For work, go over any "emergency" situation and have even a basic plan of how to handle it. Visualize how you are going to react and what steps you have to take work on resolving that situation.

Realize the most important things in your life. Mine are family and health. If it doesn't effect the important things in life, it is a game and shouldn't be majorly stressed over.

 

[Scoot]

Say’s the guy who has typo’s in his own post……

I pretty much always have typos when I reply by phone- hate autocorrect. Apparently you missed my point completely because of my offensive typos...

I was trying to point out that he seems to be equating two things that are actually quite different and I wanted to confirm what he was asking about.

 

[Muleyczy]

I'm constantly amazed by the vast array of occupations and backgrounds on Rokslide. In the last year I've seen a lot of news feeds discussing emotional intelligence (though in the past it seems like this was more referred to as common sense, which isn't so common, apparently).

I also suspect there are multiple high stress careers represented on Rokslide. I'm always up for learning new stuff or different approaches.

So, Roklsiders, if you care to do so, please share some of your favorite emotional intelligence or high stress tips or habits for daily life.

1. I've learned over the years, with regards to text messages or emails, never type angry and realize the sender isn't necessarily owed a quick response. Give yourself a response window to reply, hour, day, week, whatever, to think trough the reply.

2. WIN. What's Important Now. The WIN principal helps me prioritize what needs done in the moment when the proverbial excrement has become airborne at accelerate velocities.

Whatcha got Rokslide?

I usually try to remind myself and quickly regret when I don’t follow #1 and 2

 

[Mt Al]

Big thing for me, which i can do at my job, is disassociate with negative people, those who are toxic, poseurs, people who say "I get it" a lot. Conversely, I hire, connect with, work with and develop people who are humble and GSD (Get 'Stuff' Done). One of my favorite quotes, and I should know who wrote it but don't off hand, is "Culture eats strategy for breakfast" - meaning the whole strategizing/strategery/etc doesn't do squat unless you have a culture that executes, gets work done, works well with people.

 

[ReddingArcher]

I think there are just some people who cant deal with stress or stressful situations. They will always have a hard time. When I realized there are things you can control and things you cant it helped tremendously. That goes for work situations or personal life. If I cant control it, it doesnt get another minute of my time. Also being able to detach from work once you leave is a huge thing. Once I leave my office and it hits 5 o'clock, I generally dont deal with work stuff. Being able to spend time with my family is way more important than anything work related. There are contractors I work for who will text or email until late in the evening or at 4 in the morning, to me thats poor time management.

Also, have some whiskey.

 

[packer58]

I stress over the things I can't control, if I could control them.......there would be no reason to stress over them.

This is probably the number one thing that should be controlled.

Stressing and worrying over things that are out of your control make you less efficient with the things you CAN CONTROL.

I worked in heavy construction my whole career (retired 4 years), operator, foreman, superintendent, general superintendent. Dealing with and scheduling multiple jobs, manpower, equipment, materials, subcontractors, sending and returning e-mails and attending jobsite meetings two to three times a week.

Heavy construction is a very expensive game and making a bad decision can potentially be very costly, I will admit it did get stressful at times but also learned very early on that I and most people have a work load limit that should not be exceeded, I found that once your limit is exceeded you become much less effective.

Try to stay structured and focused, make lists that are prioritized, don't let your mind work like a pinball machine.
Try to finish your work AT work and not bring it home with you...........Tuff some times.
Try to find your work load limit and stay within that limit.
Look ahead and do your best to mitigate tomorrows issues and conflicts, monthly calendars are great.

Oh, and yeah.......... I re-read this five times to help eliminate typo's

 

[Elkangle]

If there's no serious injury or death... all is good

I think of calming music when things ramp up

 

[*zap*]

Just chill...

Self imposed adversity will make you stronger for sure, mentally and in some instances physically. But today most folks have problems with just loosing a few pounds...get your fitness up and your body fat % down and you have a good start at structuring what is most important but sitting and watching the tv while eating cheetos is what most folks choose...

I already posted my two rules to live by when dealing with others...then you have acceptance and patience...accepting that you cannot change anyone but yourself is a start. Anyway, it seems that the more folks I get to know the more I miss having a good dog.

Plus I think 'emotional intelligence' gets confused with level of education by a lot of people. Happy New Year to Everyone.

 

[insanelupus]

I pretty much always have typos when I reply by phone- hate autocorrect. Apparently you missed my point completely because of my offensive typos...

I was trying to point out that he seems to be equating two things that are actually quite different and I wanted to confirm what he was asking about.

For clarification, I was not equating emotional intelligence to handlng stress.

I was seeking to learn tips from Roksliders on emotional intelligence or handling stress.

Two separate topics but in the same thread.

 

[Scoot]

Gotcha- thank you. My apologies if my post came across poorly.

If you're interested in emotional intelligence look up the work of Goleman. He breaks it up into 4 facets. I'm not a big fan in some ways, but the way he breaks it down is somewhat helpful IMO. His 4 facts are essentially: understanding yourself, managing yourself, understanding your situation/setting, skilfully interacting within your setting/ with others. That's not his terminology, but that's how I think about his components.

 

[redcorn65]

I work with family daily on our farm and ranch. Not sure how I keep my sanity some days but weightlifting daily and playing golf is kinda my stress reliever. Open to new techniques though. Good thread.


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[MallardSX2]

If I quit or got fired, I could have another job in 15 minutes. That creates a stress free environment for me.

I'm not worrying about things at work. I worry about things at home.

You can only do what you can do.

 

[WCB]

I think the first step in either question you have is to realize how good you have it.

Step 2 is asking yourself does this actually having any effect/ real world consequences on my life going forward (or those I'm closely connected to).

Step 3 cause or intent. Was the cause or the intent of the stress purposely directed at me and/or did I cause it for myself.

Step 4 Realize (IMO) that emotional intelligence does not mean you are void of emotion or because you "feel" a certain way, you have to go with that feeling or stress about it. You can feel it but don't need to really concern yourself with it. My wife has a hard time with this one. She is a teacher and one of the good ones. She personally wants to care for all the kids and help them which is fine. But I need to tell her at some point "that is not your job at school, you are not their parent and there is very little to nothing you can do at a certain point" She asks sometimes how I can be so dismissive of some things and I just tell her...my decision is maybe dismissive or seems cold but that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for the situation or empathy towards someone and I don't need to explain that every time I make a decision.

Step 4 my fall back...F@cK iT! Really and truly is the answer to 99% of questions or decision that come up in life. It will either work out or won't so why worry.


How do I work through stress or similar...I head outside hunt, fish, trap.

 

[CaliWoodsman]

As someone who struggles with stress, I've been working hard on this lately. Some of what I'm doing:
1. Organization. Chaos and disorganization stress me out, which I've just realized in the past couple months.
2. Not letting someone else's problem be my problem. I can do my best to help be the solution to a client's problem, but it's still not my problem. This level of detachment helps me keep my stress down and simultaneously allows me to think more clearly about the problem.
3. I visualize being on the other side of the problem I'm facing. If I'm stressed about a morning meeting, I remind myself that by that very afternoon I'll be on the other side of it. Whether it goes well or poorly, I'll be over it. (Similar to "this too shall pass").
4. Stress kills. I remind myself often that "This isn't something worth dying from a heart attack at 40 about."

 

[Newtosavage]

Emotional intelligence - as I understand it - is the ability to understand people's emotions in the moment, and to respond accordingly. Some people completely lack this skill either by choice or just by being that obtuse. It is a skill that can be developed with time and training but the individual has to care enough to develop it. I have a long way to go but have also come a long way. Being married for 32 years and having two daughters has certainly helped.

As for how to deal with stressful situations, IMO that is not very closely connected to emotional intelligence other than how to manage your own emotions. Again, it can be learned.

I grew up working as a kid, remodeling houses. We would come home from school and be put straight to work on the house for most of my childhood. I grew to hate that and have always been able to separate work from personal time. I have no issues there. For three years I had a job where I was on call 24/7, supervising staff that worked around the clock and on weekends/holidays. Three years of that was all I could take because there was no clear work/personal life boundary. So I left that job and took one where I could leave work at work once again. That is the key.

Some people's identity and self-image are tied to their work. I know many people who measure their worth by the number of hours they put in each week. I feel very sorry for those people. They don't realize that they are the only ones who care how many hours they work each week.

 

[Marble]

I stress over the things I can't control, if I could control them.......there would be no reason to stress over them.

This is me too...anything I cannot rationalize or find a solution for is very difficult to remove from my thought pattern.

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[Marble]

I'll just share a few of my rules. I have a super high stress job and have had two major battles with cancer at a young age. So my cup is full...

10% of what's going on in your life is out of your control, 90% is how you react to it.

When discussing tough subjects with people, use the following rules:

1. Is it respectful to say
2. Is it honest to say
3. Is it necessary to say.

If I can keep my emotions in check and use these rules, I stay calm, communicate better and have better outcomes in tough situations.

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