Where to move?

[cjdewese]

If your wife can stay at home with your children until they start Kindergarten, do all you can to make it happen. Can’t put a price tag on it. Too many people putting $$ over parenting and you can see it in society. I’d not change a thing with this and our two kiddos. I hear it all the time about kids putting aging parents in nursing homes for others to care for when their parents did the same to them as babies in a daycare. (Off soapbox)

Family rearing and opportunities would weigh heavy on my decision on where to live.

Am fortunate enough to make this work and I feel like it's been the single most important thing I have given my son so far.

 

[CMF]

I personally would never want to be in a situation where my wife wasn’t working and leaving 100k +/year on the table just so she can play with babies while I worked.

I'm the opposite.
My wife worked for several years including the baby years, but decided to stay home and homeschool our dyslexic youngest when he was around 7. Since she quit, I have no regrets. I only regret her not staying home sooner.

The Gulf Coast is nice if you're already considering a southeast state. More jobs than areas away from the coast except in bigger cities. The cost of living isn't bad. You have saltwater fishing. The downside is hurricanes.

 

[el_jefe_pescado]

Measure twice and cut once. Everywhere is expensive right now. A place may be quantifiably more "affordable" but determining whether that same place will be a cultural/community fit is much more difficult to do. In my experience, a lack of community will trigger a move faster than anything else.