What Grain Arrow?

Your buddy is misinformed. No bow shot arrow is fast enough to negate a deers reaction to sound. If nothing else a heavier arrow will quite the bow down. Furthermore there is almost always a performance benefit of a heavier arrow in regards to penetration.

I am shooting moderate weight arrows out of my two bows this year, 525 grain and 455 grain finished weight.

I’d 2nd that, and add that the OPs buddy needs to quit shooting at deer that have already pegged him. They don’t tend to jump the string if they don’t know they’re about to get shot at.
 
My last arrow set up was 478 grains, used it for all big game. Currently building a new arrow which should come in about the same weight.

Shooting 61lbs at 28.5 inch draw, works quite well for me, shot a 200 plus dressed whitetail through the scapula a couple years ago and punched both lungs!
 
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