Traditional vs Elope

[pacoalcracker]

With the divorce rate at 55%....why bother.

 

[Dos Perros]

Expensive is always a relative term and sometimes these weddings can be as much about local/regional power structures and networking as much as the couple, so that might vary greatly.

That's how it played out for us. Her dad set the date around his farming schedule and a good portion of the guests were his business relationships that were pretty much prescribed to us. It all worked out and I have no gripes.

 

[roosiebull]

Those that have gotten married, if you could do it all over again would you do a traditional wedding or Elope?

I would leave that up to the lady, and the vast majority would pick traditional wedding. I think that’s a pretty important compromise we should make for them, because it’s a big deal to them

I don’t plan on doing it a second time so it’s worth it to make that day special for them, it’s something women think about from a pretty young age, and I wouldn’t want to take that away from them.

We are too simple for our own good a lot of times, women are certainly wired differently, but I think a traditional marriage is very important to most women, even if they act like it’s not

 

[SloppyJ]

We eloped to Antigua, just the two of us. It was great. I have no regrets. So much less drama and didn't waste a ton of money on a damn wedding. If you have a logical bride that hasn't dreamed of a fairytale wedding her whole life, 100% do this. We started to invite only family and then I got weird on who we invite and who we don't invite so we didn't invite anyone.

I say this as my mom and grandma have passed away since I've been married. They're more practical people and even though I know they wanted to go, they respected our decision. Because of the lack of BS, I still 100% think it was the way to go.

 

[TN2shot07]

Has anyone considered that getting through a traditional wedding is meant to be a test of the couple's mettle? It's a pretty good way to find out how financially responsible someone is, how organized they are, how they react to stress, what's actually important to them, etc.

I don’t think anything you listed is something you shouldn’t be trying to sort out during the dating phase? If you’re surprised by someone being financially irresponsible after you married them that’s on you for not paying attention…

 

[CMP70306]

A 5 day road trip before getting married would be a great test of the couple's mettle.

We did that for the honeymoon, 6 days and 1,000 miles on the rental car starting in Bozeman and ending in Cody. With the exception of heading down the mountain out the east entrance of Yellowstone in a freezing rain there was zero stress on that trip and it was great.

 

[Jmort1754]

We've lived together 3 years
Dated 3 1:2
Have a 16 month old

I've been married before
I'm 8 years older

She's open to view points

 

[intunegp]

I don't think anybody can decide that but you and her.

If there is any hint, feeling, or implication that you are talking her out of her dream wedding to go elope instead, you need to suck it up and have the traditional wedding.

 

[307]

We've lived together 3 years
Dated 3 1:2
Have a 16 month old

I've been married before
I'm 8 years older

She's open to view points

I think you're functionally married at this point so I'd just get the paper and maybe throw a bit of a party. I think tradition left the chat a while ago. It's easier and simpler that way.

 

[EastHumboldt]

My brother says “Why make one woman miserable for a long time, when you can make so many of them happy for a a little while?”

I eloped. It was just the two of us and a preacher. We stayed married almost 20 years and I don’t think we’d have made it a year if we’d allowed either of our parents to stay involved. Anybody who gets butt hurt about your wedding needs to get their own life, and to be told kindly but firmly to stay out of yours.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had two great loves in my life that I’ve been with for 20 or more years each. (Still going strong with the second one). It’s just all that pressure that’s put on a big showy wedding that makes me shake my head. Take all that money and put it towards a house or a honeymoon or an investment.

My best friend is getting married next year. Thank god I am not invited.

 

[MNGrouser]

If I had it to do over again? I wouldn't have married her. The divorce was more expensive than the traditional wedding we had.

 

[Treeratslayer]

We kinda eloped. Think 10 people counting the photographer on my farm during Covid. Wouldn’t change a thing. Only thing I missed out on was all the free crap from people. We planned to throw a home warming to cash in on that but covid never ended and we never got around to it.


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[Huckelfin]

Elope! Make it about you, and not have to try to make your extended family (that you may or may not give a **** about) happy and spend $30k in one day!