I've only been using a quilt for the last couple of years and my time in the field took another hit this year because of complications. Perhaps guys that have been using quilts for longer will add their thoughts.
Before you bail out on the quilt, try using a lightweight silk liner with it. I use one to try to keep skin oils and sweat off the quilt to reduce the need for washing. I also tend to wear my cleanest, dry base layers at night. I am concerned that repeated washing will reduce the effectiveness of the treated down. The liner and base layer will add a few degrees to the quilt rating as well.
As a cold sleeper, if you aren't already wearing a balaclava to sleep in cooler weather, put one on. If you're already using a balaclava, maybe try one of the down hoods.
Check to see that your quilt is wide enough too. Especially if you're a side sleeper or an active sleeper, you may need to go a little wider. I tend to sleep like I'm having a seizure and have three kids that like to benefit from dad's warmth when it's cooler and we're camping, so I went wider. It's a couple of ounces, but feels comfortable in MT Archery and luxurious in WY rifle when my Nalgene bottle freezes next to my head.
If you're running a tarp, maybe try a slightly larger tarp that you can pitch to reduce wind blowing in or rotate to put your feet to the open side?
That's all I've got. I'm not the consummate quilt guru. Someone else may have some additional thoughts. I hope it works out for you.