Sports Psychology/Mental toughness for kids?

[Gutshot007]

Not sure if this helps , but I have a nephew who pitches for a D1 college. The kid is an excellent all around athlete. His personality is fairly quiet. He got into a pitching "funk" for awhile and he tried to work things through with his coaches to no avail. Their family with him ,on their own decided to see a sports psychologist. They are not typically the kind of folks to do this kind of stuff. He said it probably was of the most helpful things he has ever done. I have kids that have played sports and have seen the ups and downs. Sometimes tough to watch some of the things they go through . They have had "good" coaches and "bad" coaches. As a parent it's hard to decide a 'line" where you to step in . As long as something wasn't horrible I personally tried to stay out of the way. There are huge life lessons learned through sports and having a coach whether a good one or bad. Make sure your daughter knows you love her regardless of her sports performance(sounds like you do) and your there to back her up if needed. Sports ,like life are high pressure nowadays even at lower levels. (We've all had good and bad bosses) . The character building part isn't easy. Just my 2 cents. Good luck

 

[HuntingJudge]

Personally speaking, I have a 17-year-old Daughter who is a varsity athlete in Basketball, Volleyball, and Track. She will more than likely be signing with a college for track in the next few months. I also have a son 15, who is a freshman and was the varsity quarterback, as well as varsity basketball and track, he also plays Legion baseball. I have coached hockey, baseball, and football. My wife coached cheerleading for our high school. Saying that I am just putting it out there I am not talking out of my butt.

ODB I know exactly where you are at when it comes to the daughter. In my opinion teenage Girls/ like my daughter expect to be perfect, they put a lot of stress on doing things right and when someone raises their voice (coach) they take it as they are doing something wrong not as the coach is trying to get your attention from across the court. This happened in basketball this season, to my daughter. I tried to let her handle it by talking to the coach, but I honestly don’t feel as kids these days can have a decent conversation with out internalizing everything. This is a technology problem that we are going to see in all areas of this next generation no one can talk. The coach actually reached out to me and asked for a meeting to help with some of the issues they were having (she is crazy athletic but is scared to use it or do something wrong). After talking to the coach things ended well. It is a different coaching mentality when it comes to boys and girls, I have coached them. Yes, there are some girls that handle the gruff coaching style and actually do well with it, and there are some boys who don’t.

Things that helped my daughter: not talking about the game till the next day, having a conversation with her coach. I always reinforce with them both when they get uptight. What is the worst thing that is going to happen? You make a mistake, what is more than likely going to happen you have fun hanging out with your friends. Work on what you need to work on to get better at practice and play the games to have fun. You will get benched, you will make mistakes, you will strike out, but its how you come back from them. You can only worry about the things you can control, attitude, and effort. The best thing we ever did for our daughter was get her into track, yes, it’s a team thing but its also individual and with a person that needs to be perfect like my daughter does its awesome. She can work on herself, and her events and not so much the team side of it, or getting benched for a mistake.

On the other side of it my son can jump in the truck after a 50-20 loss, and say that loss was on me I need to get better. He will go home after a football game and re watch the game marking down where he made mistakes and then work on then the next week. Two different athletes in my house. As a dad/coach I always ask my kids after a game if they want a dad or a coach to talk to them. If it’s the coach I tell them about mistakes and what they need to improve, tell them what they did well, and always make a comment about a great play they made. If it’s a dad I say I just love watching you play, thank you for being an awesome daughter/son.

 

[ODB]

@HuntingJudge holy hell man, thanks for that - really good stuff. You’ve got some great tips and perspective there. That the girls want perfection is absolutely true in our case. She makes a mistake and it’s the end of the world. The fact is, she makes far fewer mistakes than other girls who never think about being benched/yelled at. But when she hits out or whatever - it’s like you can see the balloon pop and she deflates.

I was talking to her last night and I said ( we watch F1 racing religiously), “What do you think max Verstappen thinks about when he makes a mistake on one corner?” She said “what not to do the next time.” I said, “no, he’s thinking about the NEXT corner coming at him at 200 MPH. He doesn’t have time enough to overanalyze what he just did, just keeps the pedal down and his focus forward.”

She is so often in her mind she forgets that “the show must go on.” She’s a complicated kid for sure.

It’s very reassuring to me that so many guys here have been (or are) in the same position. The comments are sincerely appreciated.