People are Crazy

[Customweld]

I thought you were going to say you were working with the dude that ended up trying to blow up the school.

Not this story, but I got more! This outfit I worked for was full of crazy.

 

[bozeman]

This one time, at hunting camp......

 

[EastHumboldt]

This one time at band camp…in a testosterone fueled haze of lust, I bought a girl a car. I wasn’t smart enough to steal it, I actually put money down and signed papers. I gotta say the cat was on fire.

Here’s a couple crazy people stories. Everybody in these stories are crazy ( the cops a little less so but still).

I used to be a tradesman for the city bldg maint. Division. We worked at the jail a lot, and somebody was always on call. One night at 3 am my phone rings, and it’s this Sgt who is a good man, likeable, but this night his tacks was not that sharp. He says you gotta get down here pronto with some blueprints of the building. I got an inmate in the air ducts. OK but 1/2 hour driving time plus 15 minutes to get the prints at the shop and get to the jail. In 45 minutes I’m sure your boy will probly be gone. I said why don’t you call patrol and ask them to post a deputy at diagonally opposed corners of the block? I think that’s a good plan til I get there. He says OK but hurry. He never called patrol cuz he was hoping to catch the guy and keep it on the downlow.

Anyway I get there, and they had locked a guy up for the night in an interview room just off the main jail corridor. It was on the wrong side of a secure masonry wall. In a properly built jail, all penetrations of the secure masonry envelope will have a locked jail rated door, be too small to crawl, or sealed with hardened, welded steel bars. The room had Sheetrock walls and flimsy sheet metal ventilation grilles. So the guy took a spoon or something, scraped away the Sheetrock around a return air vent, pulled the grill down, and wriggled into the ceiling. Then he crawled across the hard ceiling and fell through a grid ceiling onto the Sheriffs desk. He picked up the Sheriffs big old rolling office chair and threw it through his office window. Then he ran giggling into the night. ( I presume)

They caught him 3 hours later playing blackjack at a casino in Reno. Crooks are often dumb but this guy should get an award. The Undersheriff tried to give me a little grief the next day about the room not being secure. IIRC I dug up a memo from a previous remodel project pointing out to the SO that the room was not secure.

Accidentally posted during writing continued in a minute


By the time of this next story we had a brand new jail. I get a call first thing when we walk into the office. An inmate has done a little damage in an escape attempt. I go have look. The cells are equipped with bolted down stainless stools that have a 1.5” square tubular post. This guy had bent the stool to the floor and then worked it back and forth til he snapped off the bottom of the tube from the flange. Now he’s got a nice stainless digging bar ( not to mention a good club). Musta took at least 1/2 hour? But meth heads work on a tighter schedule so who knows.

So next he takes his digging bar to the six inch wide 1” thick slit window in his cell. Even if he managed to knock the glass out of this penal grade window, the opening is a 4” slit. So he decides he’s gonna dig the window out of the cinder block wall all around the window. And he digs about an 2” wide and 2” deep trench around the window. Anyway it comes out that the deputies had stashed a bunch of vcr tapes in the basement under the control room and they were watching movies instead of doing their rounds. Sposed to visually check each cell every Hour I think? Finally somebody catches him and puts a stop to it at shift change around 6 am.

But wait… it gets crazier. Turns out the aspiring escapee had been arrested the day before. He had been in the back yard putting a rattle can paint job on a little ATV he stole. A uniformed deputy arrived in a black and white to serve some unrelated civil papers on an unrelated person. Our Steve McQueen must a been hopped up on something cuz he made the genius decision that the law had come for him, and the onliest thing ta do wiz to commence ta shooting’. He opened fire on the deputy. Lucky for both him and the deputy he was proll high as kite, and or not too good with a pistol so nobody got hurt. The deputy returned fire, I think Steve ran and hid, and they called in some backup ( ICAT… Idiot containment and apprehension team). So now instead of doing a little time for copping somebody’s atv he’s looking at attempted murder, assault on a peace officer, attempted jail break, and property damage.

This did not happen in FLA. Carson City NV. You FLA. boys got NOTHING on us .

As I’ve said before “Nevada, come for the drinkin and partying, stay for the felony conviction”.

 

[Pacific_Fork]

This one time, at hunting camp......

You stuck a bugle tube up your corn hole…

 

[survivalistd]

You stuck a bugle tube up your corn hole…

But you should have seen the size of the elk that came in. Greatest invention of a bugle call ever.

 

[Sccritterkiller]

You stuck a bugle tube up your corn hole…

How one packs his bugle tube up the mountain is matter of personal preference.

 

[Pacific_Fork]

But you should have seen the size of the elk that came in. Greatest invention of a bugle call ever.

Dual purpose

 

[Jimmy]

I had an employee that was fired for screaming and swearing at customers, lied to me about it and then starting calling me names. When he was fired he called up the customers and was yelling at them. Also texted me for 2 days insulting and calling names and blaming me.

Guess who applied for a job this year? That guy.

 

[survivalistd]

Dual purpose

I can't find it on Amazon.

 

[Dos Perros]

I had an employee that was fired for screaming and swearing at customers, lied to me about it and then starting calling me names. When he was fired he called up the customers and was yelling at them. Also texted me for 2 days insulting and calling names and blaming me.

Guess who applied for a job this year? That guy.

Maybe he followed Penelope Cruz's character's advice in Vanilla Sky when she said "every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around."

 

[tony]

So a women’s prison:
Any hot chicks? Actually yes

Is it like orange is the new black? Sort of. We call it “gay for the stay.”
They become girlfriends while locked up and go right back to men when they get out.

We have about a 97% average with hepatitis C . Remember that the next sally at the end of the bar wants to hook up.

They have made “pleasure items” out just about any material you can imagine. From crochet to shoving plastic spoons in a rubber glove. Two lonely gals made a strap on with a shampoo bottle and a pair of prison drawers.

We have 2 full blown transgenders that have better beards than most the real dudes here.

Men are Fing stupid. These girls make a living charge guys to “talk”. One told me recently she made $250.00 for an hour of chat time.

Which brings me to, the inmates of the U.S. thank you taxpayers, as most inmates have iPads now.

They have dating sites. I invite you to check out
Caged ladies and prison belles just don’t use j pay. It’s PayPal for inmates.

They get stimulus checks like you and me.

If you take purell and put in a cup, take table salt and put it in with the purell. The alcohol separates and then you drink it!

We have a dog program in which they train service dogs. That is a highly coveted program as they live with the dogs in thier own building and are pretty much free to live how they want. Not surprisingly some screw that up.

My prisons youngest is 18 and the oldest is 84

Women are every bit as viscous as men. Never forget that !

 

[brca005]

Women are every bit as viscous as men. Never forget that !

I've spent time working in jails and I can confirm this! Also some have stupid flexible joints, which makes it difficult to gain control. Most men will just throw down, maybe use some weapons if nearby...not women, women nothing is off limits and they are completely ruthless!

One time I came back from dinner, there was what I thought was girl in a mans holding cell, nope it was a dude and he loved to show off the fake moon balloons and starfish off to the dudes in the quad while out for his hour.

It was always fun to see the reaction of the dudes waiting in holding cells when, what they thought was a chick come walking through, they'd essentially go face first into the glass to get a look, then you'd signal to them it was a dude and the look of disgust on some of their faces was priceless, always had a few in the bunch that didn't care, a hole was a hole.

 

[Pacific_Fork]

I can't find it on Amazon.

Just search keep hammerin bugle tube. But be careful, bulls will come in F’n hot!!

 

[survivalistd]

Just search keep hammerin bugle tube. But be careful, bulls will come in F’n hot!!

View attachment 1055970

Priceless

 

[Hnthrdr]

I work in a women's prison
Ask me anything

Been in them a bit for work, I can tell you I have never felt as sexy as I did walking out of a lady prison, what an ego boost!

 

[Jack321]

I work in education and deal with people, kids, parents, teachers and staff, all day some things are unreal.

Usually the teachers and staff are 90% good. Theres a handful of goofy and stupid ones. Just watch the news.

But parents and kids can be straight up terrible. And they blame the school, or the teacher or Admin. Kids dressed as animals and barking or meow-ing like cats. Litter boxes (not at my school but some around me.) Typical things are jack ass kids, divorced families, drug dealer parents, abusive parents, custody disputes, kids that straight up lie. Even with video evidence. Parents that are clueless their little snow flakes are terrors. Kids who have behavior disorders.

Its litterally dealing with human weakness.

You quickly learn, morals, ethics, cultural norms are basicslly out the window. And its your job to just do the best you can. All with low pay, bratty kids and clueless parents.

I have several staff who are 2nd career teachers, and after their first 3 months on the job, theyre like "Damn, now I know why we need days off: Christmas, Easter and Summer."

The BEST example I can explain it like this:

Ever have a birthday party for your 8-10 yr old kid at your house? Invite their friends over? You clean the house, go get party favors, decorations, food, cake, ice cream, plan fun games you have fun activites. You sing "Happy Birthday," open presents. Then as its winding down, and the last guest leaves after 4-5 hrs. You shut the door, turn around and see your house is a mess? You look at your wife and have to decide to clean it or leave it for tomorrow? Your exhausted and glad there is some peace and quiet?

Yeah, now do that for EIGHT HOURS A DAY, Monday - Friday.

Oh, and forget the fun games and cake and ice cream or presents, now toss in your have to TEACH them a new skill. All while there are 3-5 who are special needs kids, your evaluated on their performance, they dont wanna be there, or dont like you, nor care what your teaching. Some come from broken homes, didnt sleep, or have proper nutrition, some are just ass holes and you also got to deal with their whiny parents who dont like the fact that they got an F on their test, when you have basicslly made your class idiot proof that you GIVE THEM THE ANSWERS in tne review game and theyre too lazy to just write down they Qs or Answers.

THAT is what education is like today.

And yet we wonder why things like this thread exist?

Rarely is it the school thats the issue. Believe me, Ive seen stupid things districts and teachers and staff do. But those are usually outliers and dont reflecg the norm. Those are things just to grab headlines and sell newspapers. 95% of schools are majority of good people who do care about kids and want to do a good job. Yup, theres idiots, but its usually few and far between. I have 10x the problems with parents and kids than school personnel and staff.

 

[Customweld]

I work in education and deal with people, kids, parents, teachers and staff, all day some things are unreal.

Usually the teachers and staff are 90% good. Theres a handful of goofy and stupid ones. Just watch the news.

But parents and kids can be straight up terrible. And they blame the school, or the teacher or Admin. Kids dressed as animals and barking or meow-ing like cats. Litter boxes (not at my school but some around me.) Typical things are jack ass kids, divorced families, drug dealer parents, abusive parents, custody disputes, kids that straight up lie. Even with video evidence. Parents that are clueless their little snow flakes are terrors. Kids who have behavior disorders.

Its litterally dealing with human weakness.

You quickly learn, morals, ethics, cultural norms are basicslly out the window. And its your job to just do the best you can. All with low pay, bratty kids and clueless parents.

I have several staff who are 2nd career teachers, and after their first 3 months on the job, theyre like "Damn, now I know why we need days off: Christmas, Easter and Summer."

The BEST example I can explain it like this:

Ever have a birthday party for your 8-10 yr old kid at your house? Invite their friends over? You clean the house, go get party favors, decorations, food, cake, ice cream, plan fun games you have fun activites. You sing "Happy Birthday," open presents. Then as its winding down, and the last guest leaves after 4-5 hrs. You shut the door, turn around and see your house is a mess? You look at your wife and have to decide to clean it or leave it for tomorrow? Your exhausted and glad there is some peace and quiet?

Yeah, now do that for EIGHT HOURS A DAY, Monday - Friday.

Oh, and forget the fun games and cake and ice cream or presents, now toss in your have to TEACH them a new skill. All while there are 3-5 who are special needs kids, your evaluated on their performance, they dont wanna be there, or dont like you, nor care what your teaching. Some come from broken homes, didnt sleep, or have proper nutrition, some are just ass holes and you also got to deal with their whiny parents who dont like the fact that they got an F on their test, when you have basicslly made your class idiot proof that you GIVE THEM THE ANSWERS in tne review game and theyre too lazy to just write down they Qs or Answers.

THAT is what education is like today.

And yet we wonder why things like this thread exist?

Rarely is it the school thats the issue. Believe me, Ive seen stupid things districts and teachers and staff do. But those are usually outliers and dont reflecg the norm. Those are things just to grab headlines and sell newspapers. 95% of schools are majority of good people who do care about kids and want to do a good job. Yup, theres idiots, but its usually few and far between. I have 10x the problems with parents and kids than school personnel and staff.

My wife is a SPED teacher. Some of the stories she brings home are insane.

 

[Dos Perros]

I refuse to believe the littler box thing absent a first person reliable account.

 

[RS_Non-Res]

sister in-law's class room has one.
I hear about it eavesdropping on my wife's phone calls.

 

[Dos Perros]

sister in-law's class room has one.

As I said, not first person, not reliable.