RockAndSage
WKR
This will be a bit long, and a bit outside the norms of conversation here, but you sound sincere, and sincerely interested in what other people might know that could help. So, here you are:
Almost every veteran of any type of high-camaraderie, high-risk work environment has their biggest transition challenge in one critical thing: sense of identity.
It's your story of yourself, who you are, what you stand for, and what your standards are.
Nothing will limit you more than maintaining your current sense of identity. That locks you into expectations and ideas about yourself that may no longer be serving you, either partially or at all.
What few truly ever realize is that "identity" is not just flexible, but it is also very much something you can choose, and actively craft for yourself. It must always serve you - not the other way around.
It takes time, a lot of inner-work, and a crap ton of willpower. But if you really want to grow, and not get sucked into anything tangential to security - and genuinely want to prioritize your family life and quality of worklife - you must be willing to actively consider and work at shedding that old identity, in part or in whole. And it may very well feel threatening or like a sense of betrayal at first. Including with the loss of prestige, status, and sense of belonging you may currently feel about law enforcement - and what others may think of you if you bail.
But your identity is absolutely not concrete, or permanent. People's most difficult transitions in life generally come with breaks in identity that are forced on them - injury, retirement, and old age often being the hardest for warriors. Those who transition most successfully do so by adopting that new identity - either by shedding the old entirely or partially, or in adding entirely new onion layers to it, superseding the old and its behavioral hold on them.
The answers of what kind of work you might want to do will start appearing once you really dial in on what your core - and I mean, really core - priorities are. That also illuminates what your current values are, and helps dial in on what ones truly serve you. Some "priorities" may reveal themselves as emotional urges related to this old identity, while the ones that genuinely do matter the most (ie, family) can get clarified and enhanced. That inventory generally points to what values you should reconsider, shed, modify, and even adopt new for a new identity and how you view yourself. The key thing to remember is that this selection of values is a deliberate, conscious act - and that you need to optimize that suite of values and standards for the new identity. Choose wisely. And, it will take time.
From there, start searching for what income opportunities could also provide a sense of meaning. Be careful with this one, however - most high-meaning jobs are identity jobs, that often pay poorly and treat their people as optional cogs in a machine, leveraging their identity and idealism against them. But you can find extreme meaning just in doing something that pays well and allows you to focus on your family. You do not need to base your identity on your job.
That said...LE tends to attract those who get a sense of meaning out of protecting. You can do great deal of protecting and taking care of your family and even community by going out and picking up a trade with a couple of years of study or apprenticeship - and it pays extremely well. Machining, plumbing, electrical, carpentry, welding - those are high-value skills that pay well, and will always be needed in any situation your family and community may find themselves in.
When you go through this process, remember that it takes time, and try to be kind to yourself. Some of the revelations and experiences will be difficult to process, and can bring a range of negative emotions too. That's okay. It's part of the process. Just be deliberate about your priorities and the values you decide to hold, and keep moving forward.
Almost every veteran of any type of high-camaraderie, high-risk work environment has their biggest transition challenge in one critical thing: sense of identity.
It's your story of yourself, who you are, what you stand for, and what your standards are.
Nothing will limit you more than maintaining your current sense of identity. That locks you into expectations and ideas about yourself that may no longer be serving you, either partially or at all.
What few truly ever realize is that "identity" is not just flexible, but it is also very much something you can choose, and actively craft for yourself. It must always serve you - not the other way around.
It takes time, a lot of inner-work, and a crap ton of willpower. But if you really want to grow, and not get sucked into anything tangential to security - and genuinely want to prioritize your family life and quality of worklife - you must be willing to actively consider and work at shedding that old identity, in part or in whole. And it may very well feel threatening or like a sense of betrayal at first. Including with the loss of prestige, status, and sense of belonging you may currently feel about law enforcement - and what others may think of you if you bail.
But your identity is absolutely not concrete, or permanent. People's most difficult transitions in life generally come with breaks in identity that are forced on them - injury, retirement, and old age often being the hardest for warriors. Those who transition most successfully do so by adopting that new identity - either by shedding the old entirely or partially, or in adding entirely new onion layers to it, superseding the old and its behavioral hold on them.
The answers of what kind of work you might want to do will start appearing once you really dial in on what your core - and I mean, really core - priorities are. That also illuminates what your current values are, and helps dial in on what ones truly serve you. Some "priorities" may reveal themselves as emotional urges related to this old identity, while the ones that genuinely do matter the most (ie, family) can get clarified and enhanced. That inventory generally points to what values you should reconsider, shed, modify, and even adopt new for a new identity and how you view yourself. The key thing to remember is that this selection of values is a deliberate, conscious act - and that you need to optimize that suite of values and standards for the new identity. Choose wisely. And, it will take time.
From there, start searching for what income opportunities could also provide a sense of meaning. Be careful with this one, however - most high-meaning jobs are identity jobs, that often pay poorly and treat their people as optional cogs in a machine, leveraging their identity and idealism against them. But you can find extreme meaning just in doing something that pays well and allows you to focus on your family. You do not need to base your identity on your job.
That said...LE tends to attract those who get a sense of meaning out of protecting. You can do great deal of protecting and taking care of your family and even community by going out and picking up a trade with a couple of years of study or apprenticeship - and it pays extremely well. Machining, plumbing, electrical, carpentry, welding - those are high-value skills that pay well, and will always be needed in any situation your family and community may find themselves in.
When you go through this process, remember that it takes time, and try to be kind to yourself. Some of the revelations and experiences will be difficult to process, and can bring a range of negative emotions too. That's okay. It's part of the process. Just be deliberate about your priorities and the values you decide to hold, and keep moving forward.
