My first Bow - Stolen from Facebook, got a good chuckle from this

tdhanses

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Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of Pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. Pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.
Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck...OH SHIT! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can.
Oh Shit.
When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.
Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-bitch got up and ran off.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMNIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know – I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring Him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

~Author Unknown
 

nrh6.7

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That reminds me of when I was a kid and had one of those big packages of Black Cats that has one main fuse. I got the dumb idea to try and light it and see how quickly I could lick my fingers and put it out. Don't ever do that, especially indoors. I was hiding in the bathroom with dad in the living room watching tv when all hell broke loose. I lit the fuse and when it took off I panicked and dropped them on the floor. Sounded like a war zone for about 10-15 seconds and when dad threw open the door paper and smoke filled the entire bathroom and you could hardly see through the haze. Never heard the end of it even to this day. Had to have the carpet replaced too...
 

22lr

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Reminds me of the time I ND,d my 650fps pellet rifle into my bedroom dresser mirror (may have been 12 at the time). Thankfully nobody heard it, and I promptly covered it up with a paper 2x3ft US flag that I had saved from a Sept 11 magazine special (Patriotism FTW). Ill be darned if I got a note from my mom 15 years after the fact saying she found the bullet hole in my old mirror while trying to move it... :/
 
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I had a 185 Honda 3 wheeler, about broke my neck getting bucked off of that thing. This story sounds just like something we would do when I was a kid. I had buddies that would cut around a shotgun shell and shoot them as slugs. Lucky we are still alive!
 

5MilesBack

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Ya, that read pretty much like my own autobiography. I'm amazed I've survived this long, but any day could be my last because I haven't really stopped doing any of that stuff. I've always liked blowing stuff up. When I was 12 I had a full-on pipe bomb building station in the garage......unless my dad was home. Good read, and good memories.
 

jmez

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You'd be surprised what you can do with 1000 black cats, paper bag, duct tape and 10 foot of cannon fuse.

Those were the days. 12,11, 10 year old boys ride their bike to the gun store and buy 10 foot of cannon fuse off the shelf with no questions asked!!
 

Ucsdryder

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I had a 185 Honda 3 wheeler, about broke my neck getting bucked off of that thing. This story sounds just like something we would do when I was a kid. I had buddies that would cut around a shotgun shell and shoot them as slugs. Lucky we are still alive!

We had one too. Those things were death traps. They tipped over if they saw a hill!
 

Wapiti1

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Great read and story telling.

Its funny when you look back on those little episodes and think with actual seriousness, it would have worked if.........

Like it was a good idea at the time, and you just needed a little more knowledge.

Jeremy
 

NMframed

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LMAO!! I can directly relate to this. My dad always had gun powder around when I was growing up and I am very surprised me or my brother never ended up in the ER.

Best thing about being a dad is now I get to do all this stuff over again with my 12 year old son. At least I’m there to supervise him or maybe it’s the other way around lol..
Earlier this year we took one of my old Beman ICS arrows, completely filled it with Blackhorn 209 powder, removed the insert and stuck a 209A primer in it (which fit perfectly), and shot it at a cinder block! It sounded like a 12 gauge going off and my son thought it was AWESOME and so did I! His mom came out of the house wasn’t as impressed but I explained to her that we were spending quality father and son time together
 

5MilesBack

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Its funny when you look back on those little episodes and think with actual seriousness, it would have worked if.........

Are you saying that it didn't work? It sounded to me like it went off as it should have........except for Dad showing up at the wrong time.

Back when I was 8 I was out shooting my BB gun when I found an old .22 LR cartridge laying on the side of the dirt road in front of our house. So I stuck it between a piece of bark in a tree to hold it in place and stood back about 10 yards and shot it. It went off and I immediately felt pain in my right thigh. I thought I was shot, but there was no hole in my jeans. Pulled them down to find a blood blister with the exact dimensions of the casing. Lucky it wasn't an eye.
 
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Wapiti1

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Are you saying that it didn't work? It sounded to me like it went off as it should have........except for Dad showing up at the wrong time.

Back when I was 8 I was out shooting my BB gun when I found an old .22 LR cartridge laying on the side of the dirt road in front of our house. So I stuck it between a piece of bark in a tree to hold it in place and stood back about 10 yards and shot it. It went off and I immediately felt pain in my right thigh. I thought I was shot, but there was no hole in my jeans. Pulled them down to find a blood blister with the exact dimensions of the casing. Lucky it wasn't an eye.

Nope. More of a generic statement that there are always improvements to be made to a sketchy plan. Improvements, though, are subject to interpretation by the party or parties involved.

Jeremy
 

Wrench

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If you fill a 2219 with black powder and drill the insert threads out to the size of a rifle primer.....and sharpen the threaded end of a field point to strike the primer...with just a dab of silicone to keep the point from king you upon launch.....

It will break the kitchen window when you set it off on a rock 15 feet from the house.....


Or so I heard if that's illegal.
 

Wrench

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I also set up an oxygen cylinder to shoot the head off in order to launch them like the A-Team intro video showed.

I picked the valve off with my 270 expecting a rocket....

What I got was the Challenger accident. 30 yards away I saw the intense white flash and picked myself up from the ground wondering where all I might be leaking hydraulic pressure to my organs.

As luck would have it we had two cylinders and as my friends stacked dead jacks on the cylinder I ran.

I was 60 yards and counting when I heard the boom. I suppose I must have been near 100 when it started raining carcass parts.

Don't do it. It's not like the movie.
 
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