Military service late in life

[Shō[t]gun]

Looks like a lot of nails have been pretty well-hammered at this point. Recovery and free time are a young man's game, just as much as dealing with monotonous dumb tasks. Holy crap I'd be hating life doing the stupid shit now that I dealt with at 19 in the military. The first third to half of an enlisted career is constantly being the FNG and go-fer regardless of MOS. As a new officer you'd be competing against young hungry LT's with nothing but time and motivation, or prior-enlisted who already have half a career of experience and gained respect. It's a lot easier to fit in when your peers are in your own generation, just the way it is.

 

[mi650]

I enlisted at 18, and am glad I did. At 37? Nope.

There was a 37 year old guy in my platoon in AIT. He got a waiver as prior service, still was having a tough time of it.

 

[Mojave]

Thevonly way you would find succss is in medical or the chaplain corps. Lotsvof old doctors and chaplains as new recruits officers.

 

[Mojave]

You would also have to get approved from the recruiter commander for your district. Since you would count badly against them if you got booted from basic training or AIT or OCS they aren’t likely to approve you.

 

[TheGrayRider]

I served 8 years active/reserve in US Army in ‘90s before receiving my honorable discharge. I went back to law school and was then recruited by Air Force JAG. I thought long and hard but stuck with civilian life. Still satisfied with that choice. Happily married.

Good luck to all who have served, are serving, or will serve. God bless America. No simple answers. Happy hunting, TheGrayRider.

 

[scattergun]

Yep, trust me the 19.5 years was a tax fraud on the American people.

For sure — and it it goes back way farther than that, too.

 

[jimh406]

There are a lot of ways to serve without being in the military. Maybe you should retrain to a different type of job like teaching, etc. Many states have incentives for people who want to transition to teaching. Frankly, it’s hard to find that many jobs that pay less than the military post Covid.

Starting a military career in the current political environment might be hard to live with at 37. Also, you may think you are in great shape, but recovery time from injury/workouts is much less at younger ages.

 

[amassi]

You would also have to get approved from the recruiter commander for your district. Since you would count badly against them if you got booted from basic training or AIT or OCS they aren’t likely to approve you.

They are hurting so bad for recruits you could get a waiver for about anything at any level.


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[HighUintas]

Here's an update.

After a lot of discussions with my wife, I decided that the only way I'd go in was the NG even though she was even supportive of me pursuing enlisted active duty and ended up saying she'd move with me most places.

I confirmed with a MEPS location that I'd have to get a waiver for my eye condition.

Considering where I am in life, my family's needs, etc, I decided it's far better to pursue service or giving back in some other way.

I really appreciate all the experiences and insight given. It gave me a lot to think about, both good and bad.

 

[sconnieVLP]

Here's an update.

After a lot of discussions with my wife, I decided that the only way I'd go in was the NG even though she was even supportive of me pursuing enlisted active duty and ended up saying she'd move with me most places.

I confirmed with a MEPS location that I'd have to get a waiver for my eye condition.

Considering where I am in life, my family's needs, etc, I decided it's far better to pursue service or giving back in some other way.

I really appreciate all the experiences and insight given. It gave me a lot to think about, both good and bad.

I think you’re making a wise decision. Lots of ways to serve that don’t involve making those kind of family sacrifices.

I’ll tell you from experience that it’s one thing for your wife to say that now, it’s another thing to live it. I have a pretty screwed up personal life to show for being in this line of work.

 

[Q child]

I thought about joining the military briefly when I graduated from college at 28. At that time I was exhausted from school and didn't really know what to do, and wasn't really ready to start a career in my field. I talked to the army and the air force. The recruiters were just like "hey man, we appreciate your interest, but you should just go live life as a civilian. You'd be valuable to us, but I don't think that this is the right path for you." So, I took their advice and never joined. Sometimes I think about that, but I don't have a lot of regrets about not pushing it further. It wasn't meant to be for me and am happy enough with how my life turned out.
I do appreciate the people who did served. Thanks vets!

 

[JMasson]

Have any of you decided with a strong conviction very late in life (late being relative to service age limits) that you should have served in the military when you were younger and absolutely would at your current age if your family situation was different?

I'm at 37, have a 2 year old daughter, two teenage step sons, and wife. My wife can't move anywhere out of town until the 15 year old is out of high school due to their divorce decree. Regardless of the divorce decree, it is extremely likely that my wife would not move with me to wherever I would be stationed... Unless it happened to be one of a few select states. And, she would not be ok with moving to a different station every couple of years with having a young daughter.

I have always felt the need and desire to serve in the military to do my part and gain invaluable experience and training. I've always been interested in the Army Rangers and SF. Being young, dumb, and unsure of life for a long time prevented me from pursuing that.

I have a degree, a very good professional career, I'm a great team leader, handle stress well, I'm in great shape and would have no issues with training, and I'm absolutely certain I would make it through selection and training with no issues, barring a serious injury.

Having the discussion with my wife, she said she fully supports me pursuing whatever I want to do in a career if it will make me happy and is something I really want to do. However, she wouldn't be moving to most of the places those groups are stationed. I'd very likely be living alone for a long time, missing a lot of my daughter growing up.

Well, I don't think I could miss that much of my girls' lives, and I don't think I could do that to either of them. It is much better for my family to not pursue that.

However, the Utah Army National Guard is still an option with a waiver, so long as I'd be able to stay in my current location, but haven't looked deeply into that yet. There is also the option of going in as a CO with a needed MOS, but I'm not sure on the specifics of age waivers for that or if I'd be likely to be stationed in some random place without choice.

I'm not necessarily looking for answers, just a discussion. Have any of you found yourselves in this type of scenario?

I’ve been active duty for 13.5 years. I’m an 11B and I’ve been airborne and light the whole time I’ve been in (with the exception of two years as a Drill Sergeant). Thankfully, I’m at the point in my career that no one expects me to be the fastest anymore but I still have to be able to perform at a high level and “lead from the front”, as we say. That’s good because I have a knee that will likely need surgery before I retire and three herniated disks. I joined when I was 24 and I’m glad I didn’t wait any longer. It’s not necessarily a young man’s game but it certainly helps because a young man recovers much faster than the old guys. I can still run a lot of the guys in my platoon into the ground, I did it this morning as a matter of fact. I’m still pretty strong but the little tweaks take a bit more time to recover from than they did a decade ago. You just have to take care of yourself and know your limits. I met my wife when I was training for SFAS, we dated for a bit and went through a break up. We got back together and I decided I loved her more than I wanted a green beret so I gave up that desire in order to have a family. I have missed more anniversaries, birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmas’s than I care to admit. I fully acknowledge that my service brings a lot of hardship on my family. It’s very possible that you could be stationed in some random place, without any say in the matter.

Edited to add: after seeing your update, I’d say that’s a wise decision. There’s lots of ways to serve and giving back to those that serve in the military is just as appreciated as any other form of service.

 

[Rifleman86]

I’m also 37, and I’ve also got a wife and a 3 your old.

I’ve also got 12 years in the service, four of that as a Marine Tank Officer, another six as an Army Aviation Officer and UH-60 pilot in the NG and I just “reverted” to Army Warrant Officer to stay in the cockpit and avoid staff work.

First off, I wouldn’t do it. The time to do it was in your early 20s, and unfortunately, you aren’t anymore. Even with all the stuff I have done, I still have regrets of not doing certain things… We all do, it’s called life. You’ve gotta learn to live with the choices you made. Even if you made the choices you wish you would’ve now, you would still have regrets. That’s what you have to remind yourself of. Looking back with “coulda woulda shoulda” will eat you up. It did me for a while too, nobody is immune from it.

It is really hard on a family. I deployed in 2020 right after my son was born. I spent a year in the desert dealing with bullshit, with no mission and ultimately for nothing. I’m still proud of my service, and I don’t regret it. But the noble thoughts I had as a young man joining are long gone. I’m still around A) because I like the guys I serve with B) I like flying and it’s a good way to get paid to fly part time and C) 8 more years until a retirement pension.

Bottom line, financially it makes sense to stick around at this point, despite the near term sacrifice my family has to take because of it.

I’ve had some great times during my service. Met awesome people and done things I never thought I would be able to do. But knowing what I know now, there is no way I would do it at this age and at this point in my life.

Go join a local volunteer fire department. Get the bug to do cool shit out of your system and cure the mid life blues for a bit. I’ve done that too, and my full time career is the fire service. I still enjoy that too, but similarly that’s become a job and a means to an end as well. It’s a good career, I love the guys I work with, but if I’m honest with myself truly helping people and saving lives is few and far between.

You are getting a lot of good advice in this thread… I’d listen.

 

[Hnthrdr]

I’m also 37, and I’ve also got a wife and a 3 your old.

I’ve also got 12 years in the service, four of that as a Marine Tank Officer, another six as an Army Aviation Officer and UH-60 pilot in the NG and I just “reverted” to Army Warrant Officer to stay in the cockpit and avoid staff work.

First off, I wouldn’t do it. The time to do it was in your early 20s, and unfortunately, you aren’t anymore. Even with all the stuff I have done, I still have regrets of not doing certain things… We all do, it’s called life. You’ve gotta learn to live with the choices you made. Even if you made the choices you wish you would’ve now, you would still have regrets. That’s what you have to remind yourself of. Looking back with “coulda woulda shoulda” will eat you up. It did me for a while too, nobody is immune from it.

It is really hard on a family. I deployed in 2020 right after my son was born. I spent a year in the desert dealing with bullshit, with no mission and ultimately for nothing. I’m still proud of my service, and I don’t regret it. But the noble thoughts I had as a young man joining are long gone. I’m still around A) because I like the guys I serve with B) I like flying and it’s a good way to get paid to fly part time and C) 8 more years until a retirement pension.

Bottom line, financially it makes sense to stick around at this point, despite the near term sacrifice my family has to take because of it.

I’ve had some great times during my service. Met awesome people and done things I never thought I would be able to do. But knowing what I know now, there is no way I would do it at this age and at this point in my life.

Go join a local volunteer fire department. Get the bug to do cool shit out of your system and cure the mid life blues for a bit. I’ve done that too, and my full time career is the fire service. I still enjoy that too, but similarly that’s become a job and a means to an end as well. It’s a good career, I love the guys I work with, but if I’m honest with myself truly helping people and saving lives is few and far between.

You are getting a lot of good advice in this thread… I’d listen.

He did,
Ps. I’m pretty jealous of how smart you were to become an aviator and then become a warrant. I had some buddies do the exact same thing so genius!

 

[Nards444]

Don’t do it. Was an officer back in the day and had guys come in late. Tended to be good soldiers but it’s a long road to nowhere. National guard that one weekend comes up once a month as a new private tour talkjnf a few hundred bucks for a whole weekend

 

[Dooms]

Here's an update.

After a lot of discussions with my wife, I decided that the only way I'd go in was the NG even though she was even supportive of me pursuing enlisted active duty and ended up saying she'd move with me most places.

I confirmed with a MEPS location that I'd have to get a waiver for my eye condition.

Considering where I am in life, my family's needs, etc, I decided it's far better to pursue service or giving back in some other way.

I really appreciate all the experiences and insight given. It gave me a lot to think about, both good and bad.

Apologies in advance, I'm going to use some big words and open up a little.

Service, is a layered and multivariate thing. Many of things I have done, in many years of service, are not as consequential as being a good Little League Coach, or a greeter at your Church, or teaching your children to hunt. Yes, I have done launch control for Inter-Continental Ballistic Missiles. If you screw that up, the first order effects make many things moot, and the second, third, etc. order effects really ruin just about everybody's century. That is a very odd job in the military, noted. Most jobs in the military, especially as you get more senior, you are a cog in a wheel and in the grand scheme of things, you are interchangeable and replaceable. Outside of being at the beginning and end of the kill chain of nations (ICBM's and NORAD), and helping standing up a combatant command, nearly everything I have done has minimal long term effect, and could easily have been done by another. The second, third, etc. order effects are limited, and surprisingly narrow in scope. The greatest impacts I have had are as a mentor to others, beyond the listed jobs.

On the other hand - Fathers are irreplaceable and unique. Your family deeply benefits from an involved, present father. The impact of being there for your family has generational effects. Being active in your community, building relationships, mowing people's lawns, raising a family, has great meaning. That Service, while not glamorous, or recognized, or easy, is profound and creates the ties that bind when things are hard. It has depth and value overlooked in our society. It isn't flashy, instead in has the meaning and authenticity that defines, Service.

- Dooms

 

[eddiewiggles]

I joined at 18 and am out now and 24 years old. It was easy for me to say that I hated it most days but I knew I loved it and knew that I would miss it. And I miss it like hell every day. But I wanted a family and too many of my peers missed their kids being born, birthdays, holidays, etc. I spent half of my contract in the Middle East and I didn’t imagine that I would be okay with that continuing with kids at home. In about 3 weeks (or sooner, who knows) I’ll have my own little one. I wasn’t interested in Reserves or NG.

Some people would do anything for a family and I reckon other people just wanna knock down doors and stack bodies.


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[DuckDogDr]

I too have kind of toyed with the idea of joining later in life. I was all gung-ho when I was younger and should have done ROTC in college. Had 2 room mates who were.
Vet school they offered us a pretty good deal as sophomores I should have capitalized on but didn’t… I had life figured out… when really i was still wet behind the ears

Fast forward 10 years my current career path is not even close to what I had envisioned… and I debated on the reserves for retirement/ health insurance etc… but I took a good hard look at what I have and chalked it up to a midlife crisis (early).

. I wouldn’t do well telling someone to F*** off when I had enough of their skit and a couple of weeks away from home made me miss what mattered … and I quit my dead end job and went into business for myself (sorta)… much better decision for me

 

[2531usmc]

I too have kind of toyed with the idea of joining later in life. I was all gung-ho when I was younger and should have done ROTC in college. Had 2 room mates who were.
Vet school they offered us a pretty good deal as sophomores I should have capitalized on but didn’t… I had life figured out… when really i was still wet behind the ears

Fast forward 10 years my current career path is not even close to what I had envisioned… and I debated on the reserves for retirement/ health insurance etc… but I took a good hard look at what I have and chalked it up to a midlife crisis (early).

. I wouldn’t do well telling someone to F*** off when I had enough of their skit and a couple of weeks away from home made me miss what mattered … and I quit my dead end job and went into business for myself (sorta)… much better decision for me

It’s a young man’s game. Mentally and physicaly. Great to have done it at 18 and even greater to get out at 21 and get on with life.

 

[Kleos]

Here's an update.

After a lot of discussions with my wife, I decided that the only way I'd go in was the NG even though she was even supportive of me pursuing enlisted active duty and ended up saying she'd move with me most places.

I confirmed with a MEPS location that I'd have to get a waiver for my eye condition.

Considering where I am in life, my family's needs, etc, I decided it's far better to pursue service or giving back in some other way.

I really appreciate all the experiences and insight given. It gave me a lot to think about, both good and bad.

I am very happy to read this. Family is so important and easily forgotten until it's too late...

You could always look into other jobs too like law enforcement where you could get into SWAT or SAR. There are even some departments that have full-time SWAT teams. Just keep in mind you would put in a couple of years or more to get on. You could be a smoke jumper or fish and game. FBI has an HRT team which I have heard is on the same level as DEVGRU but I think they only take prior SF/Special Forces dudes.

There are a lot of cool jobs out there that you should be able to do while maintaining a family life.