Macho men with daughters

[survivalistd]

 

[cday34]

3 daughters here as well. Like most, had always thought about having boys but now can't imagine it. Girls are the best.

 

[justin davis]

It’s awesome. I’ve always loved babies my whole life. But it’s really neat having one of your own. It has been amazing and a lot of fun having a daughter. My daughter is now 11. I call her the warrior princess. It’s funny she is a girly girl. She has these fake nails on etc but I’ll take her out shooting guns and she out shoots most guys I know. She enjoys hunting and is a killer! She has killed Javalena, coyotes and a New Mexico oryx. The only thing is it makes me sad her growing up. Wish she would stay little girl forever thou

 

[mahonsr]

It's awesome, until they turn into a teenager, and these things called boyfriends start calling and coming around, and then you contemplate things like, "how much trouble can i really get into if i beat up a minor", u know fun stuff like that!

That’s why God made pump action shotguns

 

[mahonsr]

Lots of great advice - here’s some advice for when they’re a baby that my dad gave me - because it’s a different kind of connection between a dad and new born/infant - advice is - anything you can do AND hold the baby - than hold the baby. Watching football - hold the baby, working outside - baby, on the computer scrolling Rokslide - hold the baby. It really helped me connect with my 3 - I wasn’t a baby guy either. Couldn’t believe the hospital sent us home without an instruction book or anything !

 

[TopherDave]

All really great advice. Thanks guys.

This sitting around and waiting for the labor to start is worse than any Christmas Day, opening day, or channel fever I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’m excited to meet her. Also scared, wondering what I’m going to get (mainly personality wise). I’m not much of a praying man, but I find myself doing a lot of that these past month just hoping everything is normal and works out ok. I assume this is all a normal part of it and I keep telling myself it’s going to be okay, and we’ll face whatever adversity life throws at us.

 

[Dirtydan]

If you think it'd be cool to teach your son to shoot, wait until you teach your daughter to be a badass. This was a LONG time ago. She's 24 now and will soon be a Dr. She likes to hunt, fish, hike, pretty much anything outdoors. Anything a boy can do, she can do better. They are awesome!

 

[RockAndSage]

Congrats on the impending birth!

Some great points shared by everyone above. What I can offer:

- Girls are very different from boys. The more you want your girls to be able to have a healthy, long-term stable relationship with a man, the more you need to ensure she respects her own femininity and what healthy masculine energy is, and to respect those very wonderful differences.

- Every interaction you have with her, and between you and her mom, is conditioning her in what to expect from a future husband.

- Every interaction you have with her is also teaching her what "masculine energy" is...and whether she'll be comfortable with it, or averse to it as she gets older. If you want her to marry a douche, who cusses at her and disregards her, just do that around her. She'll find a guy who does that, because that's what "normal" is, and that's how she experienced her father's "love" growing up. If you want her to marry a healthy, masculine man who will use that energy to protect and provide in a safe, loving way, be that around her. You model what manhood is, every moment of every day, and she will filter all her interactions with future men from that model.

- Males and females are genetically wired to communicate differently, and simply do not interpret what is received in the same way. Literally, just because we speak English, does not mean we speak the same language. What a boy would experience as a clear, unambiguous correction/boundary/expectation, a girl easily interprets as harsh. Men communicate directly, women communicate more circularly. Almost every conversation a man has comes down to solving a problem. Almost every conversation a woman has is about information flow and using that to convey mutually belonging to the circle. Males do well with the verbal equivalent of the two-pat man hug, and do well with hearing a correction or instruction in a crisp, efficient, clear and direct manner. Doing that to a little girl as part of a correction - especially harshly - doesn't communicate "boundary" as much as it makes her feel pushed out of the circle and out of the tribe. Keep the energy inclusive. This doesn't mean communicate like a woman, as that would only screw up her understanding of masculinity. But it does mean learn to speak cross-culturally. And it works in both directions - teach her the value of communicating to men more directly.

- Always end a conversation - especially a difficult one - with clear and unambiguous inclusion and belonging. Be softer with your girls, while never offering soft boundaries.

- Parenting obviously includes mentoring, values development, skill instruction, socialization, and a bunch of other things, for sure. But especially between girls and dads, one of the least appreciated requirements in raising a healthy daughter is the active and conscious development of a relationship. That's what will make her want to call you when she's 26 on a random Sunday, or not. A critical part of cultivating any relationship is to demonstrate some degree of sincere interest in her interests, as they develop and change over time, and to connect with her at a deeper level than instruction, mentoring, "parenting", and even normal together-time. While also modeling for her how to learn to be interested in the things others are interested in, as part of learning how to build relationships. All while never lowering the relationship by trying to be her buddy or friend. You're her dad. Adventures also help immensely in building that relationship bond - going through something together. Just try to mix those adventures up with things of mutual interest, or things she's more interested in, while also enjoying ones of your interest.

Good luck with everything, especially with all the overwhelm of this next year. The overwhelm is normal if you're doing it right, and it'll get easier, especially after the first year, and even moreso after about the third year.

 

[TopherDave]

It's awesome, until they turn into a teenager, and these things called boyfriends start calling and coming around, and then you contemplate things like, "how much trouble can i really get into if i beat up a minor", u know fun stuff like that!

This made me think of one of the funniest teenage dad stories I’ve ever heard. My captain has 2 daughters. He lives outside of Seattle and has a reputation of being the “crazy crabber” dad. That’s how he got into fishing as a late teenager and did it for a really long time. He now owns his own boat on the coast in WA, side gig for himself.
His youngest daughter, then 15 went out with a classmate boy who was 16. They’re car “broke down” about 10 mins from her house. So she calls dad. And dad goes out there to help.
The car was parked on some side road in the middle of no where. The boy starts freaking out, “No, everything is okay! My dad is coming.” The boy’s dad shows up shortly after, he too was kind of weirded out by the whole situation and was like “nope, everything is fine, I’ll get it take’n care of!” Meanwhile my captain was like, this is weird but I’m here let’s get the car started and get the kids home. After jumping the battery they were on their way.
A day or two goes by and the boy shows up at the house. My captain was working in his garage, and informs the kid that his daughter was in the house with her mother. The boy said that he actually came over to apologize to him. He was using all the proper language like “sir” this and “sir” that. He ensured him that nothing funny was happening and they were just listening to music and talking. Then the kid goes, “I don’t want you to take me to Alaska and put me in a crab pot!” My captain paused for a moment and straight faced told him, “What makes you think I’d have to take you all the way to Alaska to put you in a crab pot?”
The kid never came back.

 

[MallardSX2]

At 14, she’s a bit sarcastic and mouthy (not sure how that happened....lol )

I'll be sad the day I lose her to college and boys. Its coming quickly and I'm in denial about it.

Don't blink. And more importantly, don’t let your guard down.

 

[taskswap]

"My daughter is delicate, not like a flower, more like a hand grenade."

Love her, treat her with respect, cherish her, listen to her, and support her. You'll do fine.

(And have fun with the split-personality of simultaneously hoping she marries somebody just like you see yourself, while praying she never dates anybody like you actually were when you were younger.)

 

[sierracharlie338]

I’ll echo what most others have said. Spend the time when she is little as much as you can even if that means changing jobs/positions. Girls in today’s society need their fathers more than ever in my opinion.

Mine is 12 and loves to hunt and fish but even if she didn’t I would find other ways to spend time with her. My life is about her and will be until the day they put me in the ground. There is nothing like a father daughter connection.

 

[griebel303]

I found myself with similar thoughts 8 years ago when I found out I was having twin girls. The best thing I can tell you is share your passions with them and they will become theirs as well. My girls are very girly gymnastic girls but they love to go 4 wheeling with me, they love to go scout and hike around looking for sheds, and this year they are both dead set on coming with me on my rifle elk hunt. It's fun to hear them talk to other kids about hunting and how they have grown to love the outdoors. Include them from the start and you will have a hunting/scouting buddy for life.

 

[TopherDave]

"My daughter is delicate, not like a flower, more like a hand grenade."

Love her, treat her with respect, cherish her, listen to her, and support her. You'll do fine.

(And have fun with the split-personality of simultaneously hoping she marries somebody just like you see yourself, while praying she never dates anybody like you actually were when you were younger.)

Dang, you know me too well! I was turd in my younger years…I have great regret for that and the way I treat some other men’d daughters. Also something I’ve been struggling with lately. Hits harder now, more then ever.

 

[Chris in TN]

Daughters are awesome. Maybe I'm biased though.

 

[hikenhunt]

Lots of great advice - here’s some advice for when they’re a baby that my dad gave me - because it’s a different kind of connection between a dad and new born/infant - advice is - anything you can do AND hold the baby - than hold the baby. Watching football - hold the baby, working outside - baby, on the computer scrolling Rokslide - hold the baby. It really helped me connect with my 3 - I wasn’t a baby guy either. Couldn’t believe the hospital sent us home without an instruction book or anything !

I have 3 daughters and a son. For the most immediate advice, this is it!

 

[PVHunter]

Enthusiastic support for "anything you can do holding the baby do it." My kids lived in the chest carrier and then migrated to the backpack. I couldln't sit still for nap time but I figured out that kids are pretty excited to conk out on your chest while you're walking the dogs or really don't anything else. Multi-tasking / bonding / being active is the best.

2/3 of my kids are girls - wouldn't trade them for anything. I'd also say that I never put any wish ahead of "ten fingers, ten toes and good health" - a pass through any NICU will remind how you precious - and fragile - each little life is. Enjoy yourself! As others have said, you'll blink and they'll be in middle school. Long days, short years as the saying goes.

 

[molliesmaster]

I have 3 daughters, ages 6, 4, and 2. They are great.

I may have missed it in the earlier posts but I came in here to say don't freak out when you feel like you don't have a clue what you're doing. No one does, really. There will be days when you think you have it all figured out and then there will be days where you feel like you suck at everything. Love her, love her momma and just do your best. And pray a lot.

 

[kwackkillncrew]

It's great! Start them out young and they will probably more into doing outdoors stuff then you are!

Sent from my SM-S921U using Tapatalk

 

[E.Shell]

View attachment 927546
If you think it'd be cool to teach your son to shoot, wait until you teach your daughter to be a badass. This was a LONG time ago. She's 24 now and will soon be a Dr. She likes to hunt, fish, hike, pretty much anything outdoors. Anything a boy can do, she can do better. They are awesome!

Great job, I could never get mine to hold a target for me!

I adopted a 14 yo girl child, my new wife's daughter. Told her that she would have to be the son I never had. It was great for both of us, she needed a dad and I needed a family. Taught her to shoot long range and she held her own against the Marines at the F-Class matches at Quantico and at the Allegheny Sniper Challenge matches. We took 4th place at the team match (16 teams from all over the country). Would have come in third, but I helped a friend and his boy with mechanical problems and they ended up beating us by a point or two. She was really irritated with me, LOL.

Never could get her interested in hunting, but she did accidentally dust a sparrow when it landed on the top edge of a steel plate just as her bullet arrived.

Now, she's 40 and to hear her talking about menopause was worse than losing my hair. I still think of her as a puppy. I got a beautiful granddaughter out of the deal too.