Funny Quotes From Hunting Trips

[Geewhiz]

When discussing routes with a hunting partner and I like my suggestion better than his. "six dozen one way, half dozen the other" usually goes right over his head.

 

[ianpadron]

2 years ago a good buddy from WA drove over to hunt with me and another friend in MT. He's that friend who is ALWAYS high on life, like I've never seen him even remotely close to not having a blast while outdoors. He drove 9 hours overnight to be at camp the next AM, no food, no sleep. We ask him if he wants to catch a few Z's before hunting...he's offended we even asked...

"my momma didn't raise no b!@$^!" - he softly exclaims while pounding a Monster

We go hunt, he on his own, me and the other buddy teamed up. We shot a couple deer and were packing out when we hear a suppressed shot in the direction that our solo buddy was, then the most ear splitting rebel yell type "YEEEEEE YEEEEEEE" I have ever, and will ever hear.

Got a text, "BUCK DOWN!". We eventually catch up with the wild man and he's on cloud 9, figuring he must have killed a good one....it was a spike and he was so amped about "STEEEEAAAAAKS" you'd have thought it was a 170.

A few of the many reasons we love hunting with our buddy DT, dude is insane.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

My buddy and I at the time were working at McDonnel Douglas in St. Louis. Him and I and my brothers went to MT to antelope/deer hunt. We had just arrived and I had tasked my buddy to put together my homemade small picnic table. He was floundering a bit and one of my brothers says "C'mon man, it ain't rocket science". Him and I look at each other and I say "Hey, you are a rocket scientist".

 

[ianpadron]

I was out turkey hunting with a buddy a few years ago and we had this Geo Metro come rolling up to us in the middle of the woods. I'm talking no road even close, he is literally driving through the woods.

This dude jumps out, he's wearing the shortest jorts West of the Mississippi, no shoes or shirt, but doesnt look like your typical crack monkey, he's got some class if you can imagine that, very 1960s/70s hippie vibe

Anyway, he yells out to us in the most hilarious French accent, "hey fe-LAHZ, deeww yeewww know of annyyyy of zeee mushrrewmzz?"...we both start laughing hysterically.

Told him about a patch of morels we had seen and off he went, bumping along like that scene from Ace Ventura in the land rover

We saw his camp on the way out, ol boy must have had 100 5 gallon buckets of morels stacked around his tent, it was insane.

Anyway, I now ask that question of anyone and everyone in the woods to this day, accent and all, and no one ever has any idea what I'm talking about but it takes me right back to one of the most hilarious encounters I've ever had with another human.

 

[CRJR45]

First deer camp in Michigan , day three of me seeing zero deer , and everyone else is talking about all the deer they're seeing . I said I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I have yet to see a deer . Silence while everyone turned to look at me , a 19 year old punk , and the old guy in the back says -
I think your feet stink and you don't love Jesus !
We all died laughing , I still use that phrase ...

 

[EastHumboldt]

Anyway, he yells out to us in the most hilarious French accent, "hey fe-LAHZ, deeww yeewww know of annyyyy of zeee mushrrewmzz?"...we both start laughing hysterically.

I was thinking another kind of “mushrewwmzz”….

 

[Vaultman]

My dad was the shooter and uncle spotting right next to him and they were in wispering distance. That elk steps out in the clear and "BAM" from my dad's rifle. My uncle looking through the binos says "He wobbly", and "BAM" dad fires again and the elk goes down. My dad looked at my uncle and said "I don't do wobbly!"
That was not even a decade ago but it was my last hunting trip with my uncle. Man I miss him, and that is one of the great stories/quotes dad I have from that trip.

Same uncle... he was born in Panama. We were hunting elk in central Washington in November, when we would wake up in a freezing cold trailer, he would say "Man, I was born in the TROPICS!".

 

[Loper]

I was on an antelope hunting trip with several hunting buddies. The fist guy to fill his tag shot a very small buck on the fist day and he was very proud that he had punched his tag before everyone else. However, as the week went on most guys filled their tags and the bucks they killed were all much bigger than the first guy’s. Everyone was giving the first guy a hard time for shooting a baby causing his proudness to change somewhat to embarrassment or insecurity.

On the last day one guy still had a tag to fill and was hunting with a couple other guys, including the first guy. The last guy with a tag decided he was going to just to fill his tag for the meat and wasn’t looking for a trophy. He was putting on a long stalk while the other guys were up on a ridge watching him.

The first guy was filming the stalk for a while and later that night told the guy who punched his tag that day he got it on camera and sends it to everyone. At one point in the video you can hear the guy that’s recording talking to himself in the background under his breath. If you listen closely you can hear him saying to himself “I really hope he shoots this buck….so that mine isn’t the smallest one”.

 

[Yoder]

We just moved to the area, and my son shot his first deer. I didn't know the area that well, so I just picked a straight line to the truck using the gps. What I didn't know was there was a ridiculous clear cut between us and the truck. We were about halfway through the clearcut from hell, in the dark, dragging this doe with one headlamp and my son looks at me and says "Can we just leave it here?"

 

[PaperHunter]

To the guy I've know for years, that asks the same basic question often (that I also know that he knows the answer to, if he'd just think about it)- "How long are you going to be new?"

 

[Mangata]

My buddy and I are walking from camp out to our moosin spot when I have this epiphany. I stop and in the usual out in the field whisper say “everybody??” He gives me reasonably questioning response of “huh”. Then I explain what utter chaos the world would be if EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting. We commenced to cracking up and posing scenarios of daily life that would be impossible if everybody was Kung Fu fighting shopping, work, traffic, restaurants, etc... Timing of the Kung Fu fighting before, during, or after any given public interactions . To this day we still can’t keep from laughing when one or the other gives the look and launches “Everybody???”…

 

[mt100gr.]

One of the best things about hunting camp is the comedy. Mostly unintentional. Words just don’t come out right when you’re exhausted from a pack out, or frustrated, or whatever. Little mishaps happen that make a guy borderline homicidal, but the rest of the guys end up dying laughing.

Here are a few that made me laugh the kind of laugh where you’re paralyzed and no sound is coming out of your mouth:

1: “I never thought we’d be sitting here with our meat poles.” - Marty on his first hunt where he killed his first deer, after we all tagged out and were sitting by the fire.

2: We have a camp mooch that we nicknamed “bum-a-chew”. He never brings his own chew and we all quit giving him any because he always picks his nose. A new guy in the camp has one can and offers a dip. As bum-a-chew gets a big fat dip, someone says, “you know he’s a compulsive nose picker, right?” The look on newbie’s face….

3: We have a regular guy who is an Asian immigrant. He can’t say “squirrel”. It sounds like “Squeelow”. It hits pretty hard when you’re tired.

Ok, its been a couple days...i live in the woods and I see them all the time....I think i have officially added "squeelow" to my vocabulary.

 

[CJohnson]

First time on an elk hunt in Colorado with my uncle who’s always been a little hard on me. The whole trip he’d been on me non-stop about putting a tight cinch knot on these raggedy horses we’d rented. I’m not a horse guy at all, but he was non-stop on me about that knot and getting it tight so it didn’t fall off.

We’d hunted hard for 4-5 days and gotten about 3ft of snow and decided to pack up and head out. As he’s getting on after we’d loaded the pack horses and everything - he steps into the saddle and the whole thing inverted under his horse and he disappears in the snow. I walked my horses over to where he was and calmly said, “Hey man, gotta keep that cinch tight.” And, then took a few years off my life laughing so hard.

 

[signing off]

Not exactly a hunt story but we quote from it still.
Wife and I are in Smokey mountains for vacation and hit up a mom and pop BBQ joint. I picked out something and told the girl my order. And we heard back "what two mates?"
Wife and I are looking at each other, and I replied with the combo plate. Again "what two mates?"
Well I guess they call side items mates????
Nope, I needed to tell her what two meats for the combo plate! Felt like a dumb tourist but that accent had us scratching our head. Something funny like that just sticks in the memory really well.

 

[MeatMissile]

Not exactly a hunt story but we quote from it still.
Wife and I are in Smokey mountains for vacation and hit up a mom and pop BBQ joint. I picked out something and told the girl my order. And we heard back "what two mates?"
Wife and I are looking at each other, and I replied with the combo plate. Again "what two mates?"
Well I guess they call side items mates????
Nope, I needed to tell her what two meats for the combo plate! Felt like a dumb tourist but that accent had us scratching our head. Something funny like that just sticks in the memory really well.

Reminds me of when Joe Dirt was talking to the Cajun guy.

 

[Femur]

Got a get better soon card from a buddy after an hunt. I wasn't sick, just missed a shot I should have made.

 

[Pescetism]

Got a get better soon card from a buddy after an hunt. I wasn't sick, just missed a shot I should have made.

Hope I don't have to use it but I'm stealing this!

 

[Nickofthewoods]

Once while sitting in the truck watching a herd of elk on private land my brother in law says if he kills one he is going to get a european mount. My cousin then asks him "Is that like when she's on top while you have tea and crumpets"?

 

[Yoder]

Ok, its been a couple days...i live in the woods and I see them all the time....I think i have officially added "squeelow" to my vocabulary.

My son spelled squirrel, squillar in a paper for school when he was little. From then on they were squillars, said with a fake southern draw. Black squillars were African American Squillars, since we are a progressive family.

 

[son45]

Hunting camp comedy is the best kind raw exhausted, zero filter gold that only makes sense in the moment. Those stories are perfect: the accidental innuendo with meat poles, the nose picking dip disaster, and Squeelow landing like a gut punch when everyone’s fried. Nothing bonds a crew like laughing so hard you can’t breathe over stuff that would bomb anywhere else. Keep collecting those gems. they’re worth more than any trophy. Classic camp vibes love it.