Funny Quotes From Hunting Trips

[Q_Sertorius]

Standing over a dead buck with a fist-sized exit wound in his chest, my buddy looks at me and says, “up there in the woods, some doe is saying ‘why don’t he write?’”

 

[EastHumboldt]

Mule deer Hunting with both of my brothers. The younger brother it’s his first tag ever. (He’s 60 years old… late onset). 4th or 5th day we get him lined up on a decent shooter buck at about 225 yards. Solid rock for a rest. He kills the buck. He's pretty excited, and when we get back to camp he can’t stop talkin about how he can’t believe he got him with just one shot. Older brother doesn’t say anything for a long time, and about the tenth time he mentions “one shot” older brother chimes in. “Well I guess we’re gonna have to start calling you “One Shot Dick” from now on”!!

His name is not Dick.

 

[Pharmseller]

I have two.

Years ago, hunting elk with my dad and brother, 2 feet of snow everywhere, wilderness area in Oregon, miles from a road. Dad is the navigator, being the mapman. No gps, just map and compass and an old memory of a trail, now obscured by snow. I’m sure all of you know how this story goes, but my brother and I sure didn’t. My dad said something about knowing where the trail is, then he said, and I quote, “In fact…”
Of course we got lost and didn’t find a road until well after dark. So now, any crazy idea or getting lost is called an “In fact” hike.

Second:
Hunting deer outside of Lakeview, Oregon, a thousand years ago. We’re on the way to a unit and 2 bucks run across the road. I saw horns but Stan didn’t. I pile out of the truck and load my Remington 7400, moving far enough off the logging road to be legal. Stan says, “Now, don’t go doing anything stupid,” meaning don’t shoot a doe. So now, if we want to make sure everyone is calm, we say don’t go doing anything stupid.

 

[jmez]

Bird hunting this fall. Had a pointed rooster, one of my kids shoots it right out of the grass. Pretty well destroyed it. I said maybe let them go a little so you don't drink all the meat. My buddy looks over and says, "you want meat go to Hy-Vee, were out here to kill birds."

Sent from my moto g power - 2025 using Tapatalk

 

[Elkbelch]

While packing up elk camp I was getting frustrated trying to get the ratchet strap properly routed while my dad held the other end. I was tugging on it to get just a little bit more when he suddenly jerked it out of my hands. I looked up at him in disgust and with a grin he said "I thought I had a bite". We had a good laugh

 

[CorbLand]

Bouncing down a “road” in a 70s Bronco on the desert in Idaho.

Guy driving - there use to be a road here.
Guys daughter from the back - yea, and the last time it was used was in a wagon.

 

[dr.mooseknuckles]

This past 3rd rifle elk season, walking out of a canyon uphill, my BiL said "I'm not coming back till I've lost 50 lbs". I laughed, as I could breath just fine, and said "you're correct"

 

[MNGrouser]

Two buddies and I were walleye fishing the Rainy River. Guy in the stern hooks a decent fish and guy in the middle tries to net it. Hit it right on top of the head with the net and the fish is gone. Now whenever anyone hooks into a decent fish the netman asks some version of the question, " So you want me to put the net UNDER the fish?"

 

[Jimmy]

A guy told me whenever he and his hunting buddies camps in the backcountry and has someone else that looks like they want to camp in the area he says "you're welcome to stay right here, we got plenty of lube for everyone!"

Gets people moving pretty good.

 

[displacedtexan]

Me and my buddy both shot nice antelope on public in a very limited public access area opening morning. We were having lunch whiskeys back at camp and a guy pulled up, asked where we shot them.

"I shot him right here" while pointing to the side of his ribs. That gets a lot of mileage.

 

[displacedtexan]

A guy told me whenever he and his hunting buddies camps in the backcountry and has someone else that looks like they want to camp in the area he says "you're welcome to stay right here, we got plenty of lube for everyone!"

Gets people moving pretty good.

I've got a buddy who asks people getting comfortable too close for his liking if they're "here for the gang bang"

It tends to get them moving too.

 

[street]

My best friend was on his first deer hunt, probably around age 11 or 12, and his uncle was grilling burgers for the crew one night. Burgers were almost cooked when he put a couple buns on the grill to toast em up a bit. Turns to his nephew as he places another bun on the grill and says "this'll put hair on your nuts"

 

[haywoodhunter]

My dad and I are pretty close but when we’re on trips together sometimes we kinda butt heads eventually. One day, when my dad was making decisions I didn’t agree with, I got kinda irritated at him. He was snacking on some corn nuts which are obnoxious. So as I was staring out the window trying not to snap, he turns to me, holds out the bag and says “corn nut?” It was pretty funny so now anytime someone is getting to the end of their fuse, we just say “corn nut?” In the most genuine voice possible

Another time, I was hunting with my buddy and we were cracking jokes. One of us mentioned a “substantial tool”. The other immediately responded “you ARE a substantial tool” So that phrase has really gotten some mileage

 

[ethanbillingsley]

Growing up whenever my dad wanted my older brother and I to do something dumb or fun with him he would always say, "Don't be a weenie for Jesus". My dad turns 62 in a couple of days and I turn 33 in march and to this day we still say "Don't be a weenie for Jesus." One of the more infamous times was when on a boring public land hunt we found a hornet's nest in a tree large enough to have its own zip code. Needless to say we began launching sticks at it while said hornets became angrier and angrier. With one last throw my dad separated the nest from the tree. Before it touched the ground I was at least 10 feet ahead of where he was. Neither of us were weenies that day, but one of us sure was faster haha

 

[Tilzbow]

I was on a Stone Sheep hunt in 2014, 25 miles from, base camp and 100+ miles from the nearest hospital. I tried to mount the extra large mountain horse while standing on the downhill side with a backpack on and a bow on a sling on my right side. I couldn’t really swing my leg over the horse because of the bow so I tried to launch myself up on top of the saddle in one graceful motion. Instead I launched myself right over the top of horse, landed on my head in a pile drive, heard my neck crack and the world went dark for a moment. I got to my knees, wobbled a bit and looked at my guide who asked if I was okay. I held up a finger letting him know I needed a minute. When I regained my senses and told him I thought I was okay he said, “I’ll give you a 9.8 with a triple solchow.” Apparently I received a 2/10 deduction because of the bad landing but nailed the rest of the move!

 

[Hunter26]

"I'M TELLIN YOU, THE TRUCK SHOULD BE RIGHT THERE"........

Not sure why this one is so funny but I chuckled out loud.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

My dad and I have been hunting together in some way shape or form for 50+ years now. He has a tendency to mix up his idioms. I heard him say one time "I may have fallen off the turnip truck, but it wasn't yesterday".

 

[MDR]

"This looks like a good shortcut".

It never is.

 

[RockAndSage]

My dad and I have been hunting together in some way shape or form for 50+ years now. He has a tendency to mix up his idioms. I heard him say one time "I may have fallen off the turnip truck, but it wasn't yesterday".

Reminds me of one a friend used to say: "It ain't rocket surgery, Eisentein."

 

[Geewhiz]

When discussing routes with a hunting partner and I like my suggestion better than his. "six dozen one way, half dozen the other" usually goes right over his head.