Funny Quotes From Hunting Trips

[MeatMissile]

One of the best things about hunting camp is the comedy. Mostly unintentional. Words just don’t come out right when you’re exhausted from a pack out, or frustrated, or whatever. Little mishaps happen that make a guy borderline homicidal, but the rest of the guys end up dying laughing.

Here are a few that made me laugh the kind of laugh where you’re paralyzed and no sound is coming out of your mouth:

1: “I never thought we’d be sitting here with our meat poles.” - Marty on his first hunt where he killed his first deer, after we all tagged out and were sitting by the fire.

2: We have a camp mooch that we nicknamed “bum-a-chew”. He never brings his own chew and we all quit giving him any because he always picks his nose. A new guy in the camp has one can and offers a dip. As bum-a-chew gets a big fat dip, someone says, “you know he’s a compulsive nose picker, right?” The look on newbie’s face….

3: We have a regular guy who is an Asian immigrant. He can’t say “squirrel”. It sounds like “Squeelow”. It hits pretty hard when you’re tired.

 

[Billy Goat]

"This is for your entertainment only."


Just before shooting at a small rodent in a huge rock pile, archery.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

On the way to our deer hunting land we passed an enormous 10 pointer running down the road, passing 2 feet from the truck. One of the old boys says "I'd give my left nut for him". My brother replies "I wouldn't".

 

[grfox92]

Elk hunting in southern Wyoming in an any elk unit. We hadent been seeing much for bulls. We are crossing a clearing when we hear a snap and look to our left. There is a cow standing there at 80 yards. My buddy asks if I want to shoot her and I said no. He throws up his old Model 70 300wm and KAPLOW!!! Drops her dead.

Ears still ringing and the shot still echoing, he looks at me with a huge smile and screams in a high pitched voice, "BULLSEYE!!!!".

We still say it whenever we kill shit or hit steel at long range.

Sent from my SM-S931U using Tapatalk

 

[GSPMich]

Years ago we watching 11pm local news the day or two before the gun deer opener and they did a small story about the upcoming season. They did the story on location at a hunting store and interviewed an old timer hunter, he said in his interview a buck grunt sounds like a eck and a doe sounds like an ick, and he makes the sound. It was comical, the guy in the interview made out the noises and each one sounded like someone throwing up basically, not close the actual deer vocalization.

From then on, on any hunting or fishing trip anytime things don’t go well it’s because the guy icked when he should’ve ecked. Miss a bird, I guess I icked when I should’ve ecked. Sit in the wrong stand, icked when I should’ve ecked, miss a fish, mess up a net job, all the same.

 

[RockAndSage]

When someone's complementing your optics too hard, damn near drooling over - a Lone Watie quote from Josey Wales: "It's not for eating - it's for looking through."

 

[Nickofthewoods]

One time about 6 of us had a camp set up next to a large reservoir. About day 3 one of my friends starts walking into the woods behind camp and a few of us asked him where he was going. He looks back and says he's going to take a dump. I asked him why he doesn't just walk back down the road and use the shitter. He apparently hadn't seen the pit toilet we passed on the way in. So he says "There's a shitter here? This whole time I've been dragging my ass through the snow like a dog!"

 

[Steve300xcw]

"I'M TELLIN YOU, THE TRUCK SHOULD BE RIGHT THERE"........

 

[Rich M]

Hunting ducks w my cuz and a swan is flying over, he yells snow goose and i about tackled him to keep him from shooting. We call all white birds snow geese now.

 

[MeatMissile]

Sometimes I wish I wore a bodycam while hunting. A buddy and I were sitting on a ridge, looking at a mule deer buck that was standing behind another buddy on a parallel ridge. We were trying to get his attention to get him to look behind him, but it all fell apart when the buck started bound down the hill, maybe 25 feet on the other side of our friend. If we could have filmed it and froze the image, it would have look like he got tea-bagged by that buck, mid bound.

 

[MeatMissile]

Hunting ducks w my cuz and a swan is flying over, he yells snow goosenand i about tackled him to keep him from shooting. We call all white birds snow geese now.

There is a few units in WA that allow youth hunters to shoot whitetail does. We drove up on a guy who was helping his son, who must have been about 11 or 12, gut their “whitetail doe”. It was a young cow elk. Still easily twice the size of any whitetail doe.

 

[Rich M]

There is a few units in WA that allow youth hunters to shoot whitetail does. We drove up on a guy who was helping his son, who must have been about 11 or 12, gut their “whitetail doe”. It was a young cow elk. Still easily twice the size of any whitetail doe.

Some of those make ya wonder. One of them had to know but old guy says shoot it, we’ll say it looked okay to us.

 

[DB29]

5 miles back with my dad and uncle on day 4 and they are discussing when to pack camp and go back to the truck. My uncle says, “well I’m out of dip and miss my family so I’m good to go now…. not in that order though”

 

[Marbles]

"At least we haven't called the troopers on each other."

Me and my buddy had left two old guys in a remote forest service cabin and we headed up the mountain to hunt for several days. While we were up there the two old guys started arguing over someones bad cooking and how to anchor the boat and the Troopers and Forest Service and Coast Guard all got involved and we got phone calls from the troopers asking us to come off the mountain and help deal with the drama (AKA babysit until the weather cleared).

We did have the troopers pick us and our deer up off the beach, which saved a few miles of rough hiking getting back to the cabin.

 

[bracer40]

O dark thirty and my buddy and I are groaning as we gear up our mid 60’s bodies for another day of chasing bugles in the steep brush of N Idaho. Buddy says to me, “This getting old business ain’t for sissies!”

 

[MallardSX2]

Anytime there is any doubt in anything my buddy looks at me and says “There’s no snakes in Canada….”

 

[mt terry d]

I'd brought some backstraps to a get together with some buddies.
One was a smartass (well, most of my buddies are) from CA and had never had venison
He was enjoying it and I said "Carl, you look pretty content with my meat in your mouth"
(mods, feel free to delete if this is over the line)

 

[Oregon]

3 of us hunted Wyoming a few years. Took my 74 year old buddy. Another friend drove in from another state. These 2 had never met or talked We rented a cabin, we arrived a couple hours ahead of other buddy.
He arrives, sticks out his hand and the first thing he says to the old timer is “ hope you don’t mind, but I have the hookers and blow showing up at 9pm”. The look on his face was priceless

 

[RS_Non-Res]

Driving down the mountain and I told my buddy to look into the small valley past the guardrail b/c sometimes there's elk down there. His genuine response was "No elk, but there's the biggest doe that I've ever seen."

 

[ClearCreek]

While at a mandatory deer check station a hunter stops to check in his "button buck" white-tailed deer,

When the guy working the check station told the hunter it was a fawn, the hunter got a funny look on his face and said, "Yeah but he is big for his size".


ClearCreek