Fight a bear?

[taskswap]

Lewis and Clark have some great quotes on their bear encounters on their journey. My two favs:

...the Indians give a very formidable account of the strength and ferocity of this anamal, which they never dare to attack but in parties of six, eight or ten persons; and are even then frequently defeated with the loss of one or more of their party. the savages attack this anamal with their bows and arrows and the indifferent guns with which the traders furnish them, with these they shoot with such uncertainty and at so short a distance . . . that they frequently mis their aim & fall a sacrefice to the bear. . . . this anamall is said more frequently to attack a man on meeting with him, than to flee from him. When the Indians are about to go in quest of the white bear, previous to their departure, they paint themselves and perform all those supersticious rights commonly observed when they are about to make war uppon a neighbouring nation.

and

Capt. Clark & Drewyer killed the largest brown bear this evening which we have yet seen. it was a most tremendious looking anamal, and extreemly hard to kill notwithstanding he had five balls through his lungs and five others in various parts he swam more than half the distance across the river to a sandbar & it was at least twenty minutes before he died; he did not attempt to attact, but fled and made the most tremendous roaring from the moment he was shot.

I guessed the original poll was for "unarmed" combat. I think most folks are delusional if they think they could even take a small buck unarmed, let alone a bear.

 

[spike camp]

She’s pretty small, but I’d imagine feisty….
I think I could take her.

 

[EastHumboldt]

Is this even a logical question???

Like so many of the questions… it is not logical. But it is fun which is the point of this forum.

When he was about 18 my nephew was really doing well in Spartan Races, to the point where he was becoming kind of known around those circles. He was pretty good on HS track team, fast, strong, and tough. We were sitting on the back deck having a few and cougars came up. He said he was pretty sure he could outrun one. Generalized laughter and mocking ensued.

I had to capture a 3 lb feral kitten from a woodpile once. I was wearing a welding gauntlet, and that little fxxxer bit my thumb so hard with his sharp ltitle teeth, it felt like a pair of pliers with a couple thumbtacks attached. I would have let him go but he had a death grip on my thumb. I finally managed to shake him off my hand into the crate.

Another time I had an encounter with two rats in my basement. We were renting an old farmhouse. Wife was taking a bath and heard a noise under tthe tub. Instructed me to find out what it was and get it stopped pronto. Standing on the basement stairs, I tapped on the floor with a sawed off broomstick. They came out from under the bathroom tub and ran along the top of the drain pipe. I swatted at the first one with the broomstick and missed. He ran away. The second one, I shit you not, weighed 8 lbs and was 18-20” long. He stopped turned his head and hissed as I drew back my flimsy little broomstick to strike. I reconsidered. The hair on the back of my neck was standing up straight, and I had that adrenaline gutsick feeling. He scared the living shit out of me.

I set out rat traps and caught the small one. The big one set off the traps and took the bait. Left me a note saying “Thanks for the snack, but stay out of my basement”. I devised a plan. I took a rat trap and bolted it to a 2 ft length of dog chain tied to a 12” diameter round of Doug fir firewood. I took a peek the next morning and the log was dragged all the way across the basement, with the taut chain disappearing into the firewood pile. I had a bad feeling about it. I went back upstairs and put on a pair of overalls, over that two hoodies. Over that a jeans jacket, and a pair of welding gauntlets. I put on a pair of lab goggles and cinched up the hoods around my face so pretty much the only bare skin I had showing was my forehead and chin. I picked up a hatchet and headed downstairs, ready for battle. My wife laughed at my makeshift armor, but stopped laughing when I offered her the hatchet. I didn’t need it. He had choked to death after crawling into the pile of firewood.

but I’ll fight a bear. Gonna need awhile to get dressed first tho.

 

[Wrench]

I watched this bear dig this hole in about 3 minutes to find a gopher. You're gonna want to pack a lunch.

 

[EastHumboldt]

I always make a point to take my younger brother on hunting trips. He is slower than me.

 

[7mm-08]

Animals' strength, speed and durability is difficult to comprehend for even experienced outdoorsmen.

Here' a story to demonstrate that capacity. A friend and I were in a small boat fishing one afternoon on a lake when we spotted a tiny doe (like 65 pounds) swimming across the lake. Against my repeated requests that he leave it alone, my friend was hellbent on my taking photos of him with it. My friend was a formidable high school athlete who was 6'02" and 210 with excellent speed and strength to weight ratio. He stripped down to his skivies and eased out of the boat putting his arm around this little deer's neck and letting it swim to shore. The deer was calm as could be as it towed my friend to shore. When that that deer's feet hit solid ground, he exploded like a grenade. My friend tried to hold the deer's neck in a headlock and that deer flopped him back and forth body slamming him like a rag doll. Once free, that deer pounded my friend with its front hooves for about a minute as my friend was scrambling to escape with no success. To finish the fight, this little deer, which now appeared to be a possessed monster, jumped straight up into the air (8 feet or so above the surface of the water), coming down on my friend repeatedly with all four hooves before repeating this impressive move 15 or so times. Finally, the deer departed the area after she had taken her anger out on my now bloodied friend. When the assault finally concluded, my friend said he wished he had listened to my advice. Arriving at my friend's parent's house, his father asked my friend if he had been in a car accident.

Long way of saying a yearling cub of any subspecies of bear could smash John Jones, one of the greatest UFC fighters of all time, in less than a minute. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't be fighting for my life to win, but at the end of the day, I would likely end up bear scat.

 

[Wetwork]

Stand back folks I got this...-WW

 

[EastHumboldt]

Where is the meme-hole-gang? This seems perfect for them. Is there a way to summon them? ( Aside from mentioning BOAL or AVB )

 

[CJF]

Anything is possible

 

[elkguide]

Hold on a minute while I check.......

NOPE! Not on my list of things to do or even on my honey do list!

 

[Macintosh]

I answered the only appropriate answer. I may be wrong, but everyone else is just a quitter.


Also, its about time someone posts the old youtube videos of the guy testing his bear-attack-proof armored suit.

 

[Dos Perros]

The thing with fighting a bear is, I know I'll lose, but the bear doesn't know that. And THAT is his weak spot.

 

[smithjd]

Timely. A friend just sent me this because a co-worker thinks he can take an ostrich….

 

[Roofer1]

Be a hell of a way to go out. "how'd he die?" "well... the goofy S.O.B. squared up with a grizz." On that thought, I'd take 3 second of fighting a bear versus 3 months of wasting away in a hospital bed

 

[RSather528]

@Drenalin @MuleyFever @Billy Goat

Where is the meme-hole-gang? This seems perfect for them. Is there a way to summon them? ( Aside from mentioning BOAL or AVB )

Maybe this will help.

 

[bigv]

Depends on the species. Grizzly-try to play dead. Polar or black...you better fight back or they'll start to eat you while alive. I would fight back for sure knowing I have 0 chance of winning.

 

[Drenalin]

I'm pretty sure this is a real photo. If that communist can do it, I can probably manage too.

In case there are any bears reading this, I'm kidding. I want no part of you.

 

[MuleyFever]

 

[go_deep]

 

[Billy Goat]

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@Drenalin @MuleyFever @Billy Goat

Maybe this will help.

I got in a fight with a dog last week, and while I came out the winner, I sure didn't feel it.

Been low on energy, need to recover a bit before I can focus energy on memes.


Suffice it to say, I'm pretty certain I wouldn't win against a wolf, let along something bigger with real claws.