Elderly Drivers - when to call it quits?

[mt terry d]

I made it home safely. What's the problem?

https://twitter.com/x/status/1997044556777320892

 

[LostArra]

To those that have elderly parents, when have you decided to ‘take the keys away’?

I realize that those parents ‘think’ they can drive, but you know know better.

What do or what did you do?

Golden rule.
How do you want to be treated when the time comes?

 

[BadDogPSD]

My dad's driving started getting bad in his late 70's. He agreed to stop driving in his early 80's without much of a fight.

 

[LostArra]

My granddad was perfect. He backed out of his garage, clipped the mailbox, pulled back in the garage.
He called my mom and told her to sell his car. "It could have been a neighbor kid" and he told her she's going to have to get his groceries."

 

[Johnson27]

I had to be the bad guy that took the keys away from our dad.
He had been battling parkinson for several years and it was getting worse. We had a small snow storm and he tried to get to the store. He buried his mini-van just trying to get out of the driveway. Instead of calling for help, he burned up the transmission and busted a half shaft trying to get it unstuck.
After I got it towed to the repair shop and finding out how much damage he'd done, I called a family meeting and informed mom and my sisters that he was done driving. Dad was not happy to say the least, but everyone else thanked me for having the courage to say enough.

 

[Nickofthewoods]

All I know is that when I'm old I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like grandma. Not awake and screaming like everyone else that was in her car.

 

[7mm-08]

This is one tough subject. After my Mom passed away in her mid-70's, my Dad was still sharp as a tack and capable of driving into his late 80's, more than a dozen years later. The kids knew that pulling his keys would have isolated him socially and killed him. Fortunately (if you can even use that word in this situation), his ignoring the triple digit PSA numbers and refusing to further define his situation led to his worsening health and eventual instability a month before he died. He had no desire to drive the last few months before his death, which made it easy for us, the kids. Lots of factors influence this decision for sure.

 

[sambo3006]

Thankfully, both of my parents voluntarily quit driving. I would not have hesitated to lovingly but firmly if necessary tell them that it was time to quit. The ONLY consideration is safety. Not just for your loved one, but for the mother and her young children who is also on the road, or anyone else for that matter. I think too many people get caught up in worrying about offending their elderly loved one. We have a great responsibility to ensure the safety of all.

 

[87TT]

When my Dad was 85 or 86 he started having memory issues and my Mom took over most of the driving and he pretty much quit. He still insisted that he could and the state sent him a new license. We finally moved my parents up to my sister's and he wasn't happy. I remembered when I was a kid and he had to take my grandmothers car from her. So, I reminded him. Even though he was diminished, I think he kind of remembered that and it was done. I already told my kids that it would be their call for me. My Mom is 91 and still drives.

 

[bradmacmt]

My father is two months shy of 97. He's still a better driver than 50% of the people I see on the road lol.

 

[Yoder]

My Grandfather was 80 when he got lost in a small city about an hour away and drove into another car going the wrong way on a one way street. Luckily nobody was hurt, but that was his last time driving.

Daylight savings got him. He drove to the diner, where he went every morning for breakfast and they were still closed. That's when he went searching for another place to eat and everything went sideways.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

My 93 YO dad is so damned stubborn, if I took his keys away he'd just go buy a new car.

 

[eddielasvegas]

My granddad was perfect. He backed out of his garage, clipped the mailbox, pulled back in the garage.
He called my mom and told her to sell his car. "It could have been a neighbor kid" and he told her she's going to have to get his groceries."

That is next level unselfish behavior. Good on your grandad.

If only all old farts were this self aware and unselfish.


Eddie

 

[rookieforever33]

Most people give it up later than they should. Not saying ut is necessary death and destruction, but some easily avoided close calls that probably went unnoticed. If they give it up themselves or easily when called to do it, they probably know something you do not.

 

[Grassymike]

I was in a serious accident when I was 34. An older man pulled out right in front of me on a highway without looking. Unfortunately he died instantly when I T boned his car. He was 96, and no he should not have been still driving. I had worked with one of his sons so it hit me hard. The whole family had tried to get his license pulled but he had a Doctor/friend who kept reccomending he was good to go until he was'nt. My FIL passed just over a year ago. We had to take his keys away and he was very upset. Ended up being a menace on the Streets of his small town driving his electric scooter all over for Mcdonalds etc. Just thankful for all the people who braked as he crossed streets without looking etc.

 

[eddielasvegas]

I was in a serious accident when I was 34. An older man pulled out right in front of me on a highway without looking. Unfortunately he died instantly when I T boned his car. He was 96, and no he should not have been still driving. I had worked with one of his sons so it hit me hard. The whole family had tried to get his license pulled but he had a Doctor/friend who kept reccomending he was good to go until he was'nt. My FIL passed just over a year ago. We had to take his keys away and he was very upset. Ended up being a menace on the Streets of his small town driving his electric scooter all over for Mcdonalds etc. Just thankful for all the people who braked as he crossed streets without looking etc.

This is exactly why anybody over 90 should NOT be driving and anybody over 80 should have to take a road test. OTOH, I ain't volunteering to be the tester.

Mental and physical faculties dimmish so much at 80+ that a road should be required at the federal level, but there is zero chance that'll happen as AARP et al is too powerful a lobby.


Eddie

 

[Bluefish]

Getting there with both wife and I’s parents. Step dad is probably there, but no one will stand up and he keeps fooling the doctors. I expect it will take an accident to get him to finally stop. Mil won’t ride with him anymore and drives when they go anywhere.

Had a friend who’s dad went due to dementia and he simply forgot to renew and then could not pass the test. Took care of itself.

 

[Colorado Cowboy]

I just turned 84. I drive between 15,000 and 20,000 miles a year. Havn't had an accident in 50 years and the last ticket I got was in 1975 (which I beat in court). I have perfect vision and am very active hunting, fishing (with my own boat), rv'ing (pulling a 28' bumper pull travel trailer) with a F350 4x4 super cab diesel truck. I also have a street rod and a 2024 Bronco. I live very rural and hate city driving. I plan on driving until I can't pass a driving test and get insurance. My son owns his own trucking business and I will listen to him too. NOBODY takes my keys away from me until I am willing to give them up!

 

[Colorado Cowboy]

This is exactly why anybody over 90 should NOT be driving and anybody over 80 should have to take a road test. OTOH, I ain't volunteering to be the tester.

Mental and physical faculties dimmish so much at 80+ that a road should be required at the federal level, but there is zero chance that'll happen as AARP et al is too powerful a lobby.


Eddie

Like I said in my post, I am 84 and you can't make a statement like your last sentence because not everyone is the same. People like you who make blanket statements that you want to apply to everyone without any evidence to back it up' should just keep their opinions to themselves.