The gene pool needs some chlorine...
Colorado Man Mauled After Attempting to “Join” Wyoming Wolf Pack
JACKSON, WY — A self-described “wolf furry” from Fort Collins is recovering in a Wyoming hospital after attempting to integrate himself into an actual pack of wild wolves near Togwotee Pass.
According to Wyoming Conservation Services, 28-year-old “Lupus Moonhowl” legally known as Brian Sanders was spotted crawling on all fours in full faux-fur attire, complete with a tail, plastic fangs, and a Bluetooth speaker playing recorded howls. Witnesses say Sanders approached the wolves while tossing raw hamburger meat in their direction “as a gesture of friendship.”
The wolves reportedly responded by chasing Sanders nearly 300 yards before “testing his durability” with a series of bites and swipes. A game warden on the scene described the encounter as “the fastest I’ve ever seen someone regret a lifestyle choice.”
Sanders suffered multiple puncture wounds, torn synthetic fur, and “severe emotional disillusionment.” When asked by reporters if he’d attempt to rejoin the pack after recovery, he replied, “Probably not… they didn’t seem very into the roleplay.”
Wyoming officials are reminding the public that, while wolves are fascinating animals, they do not accept cosplay applications.
Colorado Man Mauled After Attempting to “Join” Wyoming Wolf Pack
JACKSON, WY — A self-described “wolf furry” from Fort Collins is recovering in a Wyoming hospital after attempting to integrate himself into an actual pack of wild wolves near Togwotee Pass.
According to Wyoming Conservation Services, 28-year-old “Lupus Moonhowl” legally known as Brian Sanders was spotted crawling on all fours in full faux-fur attire, complete with a tail, plastic fangs, and a Bluetooth speaker playing recorded howls. Witnesses say Sanders approached the wolves while tossing raw hamburger meat in their direction “as a gesture of friendship.”
The wolves reportedly responded by chasing Sanders nearly 300 yards before “testing his durability” with a series of bites and swipes. A game warden on the scene described the encounter as “the fastest I’ve ever seen someone regret a lifestyle choice.”
Sanders suffered multiple puncture wounds, torn synthetic fur, and “severe emotional disillusionment.” When asked by reporters if he’d attempt to rejoin the pack after recovery, he replied, “Probably not… they didn’t seem very into the roleplay.”
Wyoming officials are reminding the public that, while wolves are fascinating animals, they do not accept cosplay applications.
