pbroski
Lil-Rokslider
The thing about horses is that once you start something, you have to finish it, or like you say they will purposely be balky in order to avoid doing things they don't want to do. It is correct that when the horse refused to cross the river, you tried to do what you could to make him. It was unfortunate that you eventually give up however and lead him across.
You probably already know this, but with a horse you have to make the right thing easy, and the wrong thing hard. Getting off, and leading him across made the wrong thing easy for him. Once you started to ride him across, the right thing would have been to not stop until you got across by riding. However, pushing him too hard at one time could potentially cause him to get so pissed off that he would buck you off without warning, so definitely be cautious of that.
The river crossing situation would have been a good time to lunge him. Make him go around and around, change direction, stop, start, around and around, etc. Make refusing to cross the river the hard thing to do, and show him that you're the boss. After lunging for a while get back on and try crossing, if he refuses, lunge him again. If there enough room drive him into the water, stop him, get on in the water and get him across. Do it enough times, and you will get him across.
Another and maybe easier solution might be to use your riding horse for packing, and your pack horse for riding. It seems like the older horse is more eager to do what you want. That way also, the horse you're riding will be the slower of the two, so the pack horse would have no problem keeping up, so you wouldn't have to be dragging it along. Keep at it, I think you'll get it eventually.
You probably already know this, but with a horse you have to make the right thing easy, and the wrong thing hard. Getting off, and leading him across made the wrong thing easy for him. Once you started to ride him across, the right thing would have been to not stop until you got across by riding. However, pushing him too hard at one time could potentially cause him to get so pissed off that he would buck you off without warning, so definitely be cautious of that.
The river crossing situation would have been a good time to lunge him. Make him go around and around, change direction, stop, start, around and around, etc. Make refusing to cross the river the hard thing to do, and show him that you're the boss. After lunging for a while get back on and try crossing, if he refuses, lunge him again. If there enough room drive him into the water, stop him, get on in the water and get him across. Do it enough times, and you will get him across.
Another and maybe easier solution might be to use your riding horse for packing, and your pack horse for riding. It seems like the older horse is more eager to do what you want. That way also, the horse you're riding will be the slower of the two, so the pack horse would have no problem keeping up, so you wouldn't have to be dragging it along. Keep at it, I think you'll get it eventually.