Am I out of line?

[BFR]

Maybe I have a warped sense of things but I see marriage as a team and having a baby IS a team effort. My wife and I had to wait 7 yrs and go thru a miscarriage to have our first. When my daughter was born NOTHING was more important to me than my family. That being said, wait until your baby is born then decide what to do. Congrats on the new baby and future hunting partner.

 

[LongWayAround]

Go hunting

 

[Newtosavage]

You could always find a new wife

I hear that's an expensive solution though.

 

[Mighty Mouse]

I don't think you're out of line, but I'd recommend dropping the issue until a couple weeks after the baby arrives and y'all have started to settle in. Unless your turkey hunt requires more advanced planning/scheduling, then you may need to have the conversation before the baby arrives.

My wife and I had our first child August 4 last year, and I went on an out-of-state elk hunt 10 weeks later. It was a drop camp hunt that required scheduling an outfitter months ahead, so my wife and I had discussed it long in advance. I made clear that I would cancel the hunt if she changed her mind after the baby had arrived. We have no family close, so I arranged to drive my wife and the baby back to our hometown to stay with her parents for the week. Leaving her home alone for a week was a non-starter. My wife is an uncommonly strong woman, physically and emotionally, and I'm certain that she could have handled a week alone, but there's no way I would've voluntarily put her in that situation. Even tiny tasks like feeding the dog, feeding yourself, taking out the trash, etc. can be very difficult to accomplish when you're alone with a newborn, especially a newborn like ours that wanted to be held every waking moment.

There's no way to be fully prepared for the changes required by fatherhood, just take things as they come and you'll figure it out.

 

[CJohnson]

Good grief. I have two kids. They vary. Don't expect a 1 month old to sleep. My second spent the first month of his life in the NICU and didn't sleep more than 2 hours for the first 18 months of his life.

You also left a lot of important details about your life out. Does your wife work (aka will she have to keep up with things even though technically she's on FMLA or whatnot)? Do you have family close by that can help? What if she has a C-section and can't get up and about for a few weeks? Have you considered that your kid might not pop out perfectly healthy?

I grew up hunting and I love it. I look forward to hunts for months in advance. But, I also grew up without a dad. So, for me personally, being there for my wife and kids will always be much higher on the totem pole than chasing an animal around in the woods.

Spend time with your wife and help out where you can. Sure there's some stuff you can't do and the mother has to bond, but there's a lot you CAN do that helps out. Regardless of all that, arguing with your pregnant wife about something that's 6 months away is a huge waste of time.

 

[2rocky]

Some good advice in here and some not so good. We aren't there to see your dynamic so it is hard to say.

Drop it for now. You will know if it is the right thing to do when the time comes.

 

[SonnyDay]

You may end up getting to go... but assume you will not. You may also not even want to once your new little one is here.

On a related note: Enjoy those early days... and be sure to learn the daddy ropes: hold the baby lots, learn to soothe, change diapers, do middle-of-the-night bottle feedings, etc. Too many dads allow their wives to take command and take over all the hard/dirty work. As a dad you are already at a huge bonding disadvantage because you won't be breastfeeding the little one. Work hard to build that bond in all the other ways. From day 1. It's about the most important work you will ever do in your life.

And congrats!

 

[LostArra]

You aren't out of line, just inexperienced.

 

[ElkArcher918]

My wife is due with our fist child in March. I said something about turkey season and she looked at me and said there's no way I was turkey hunting this year. She couldn't believe the fact that I was wanted to take one day and turkey hunt and leave her to take care of our one month old.
Am I out of line? Maybe ill feel different after the baby is here?

Hey, remember. Happy wife happy life. Pass on the hunting and take care of the wife and baby. There will be plenty of future ops to go turkey hunting. I have a hunch that if you play your cards right that she'll say "Okay, get out of the house and go kill that stupid bird".

 

[NevadaZielmeister]

Unfortunately you are a bit out of line. That first month will be a learning experience for the both of you. Your feelings and her feelings will shift and you both will see a whole new reality spring up in the form of a helpless child who will need 24/7 attention.

Also, is it worth upsetting the spouse and possibly turn her against your hunting? I would suggest you work together with her and assure her that your hunting will not interrupt the family life that much. But that is just my suggestion as so many guys ask me how my wife is into pistol competitions. I provide them some suggestions to share things that are uncommon to create a balance for mutual enjoyment of other activities. I LOVE real housewives guys.. love that show.

Good luck and just forget Turkey hunting this one time.

 

[satchamo]

My wife is due with our fist child in March. I said something about turkey season and she looked at me and said there's no way I was turkey hunting this year. She couldn't believe the fact that I was wanted to take one day and turkey hunt and leave her to take care of our one month old.
Am I out of line? Maybe ill feel different after the baby is here?

You can absolutely still hunt with a baby around. Any one in healthy relationships would tell you the same. You just have to be willing to return the favor when the time comes. I make sure I’m extra flexible and available thru the week so weekends are easier to slip away.

One child is easy to take care of alone. Two is where it gets hairy. I can speak from experience.

 

[P Carter]

Agree with the wait-and-see advice above. There’s just no way to know what your collective lives will look like after the baby comes. Any conflict with your wife now will be over a hypothetical with unknown facts. So many factors in play—baby’s health, mom’s health, postpartum depression, how you are hanging in there, etc.

I’d suggest keeping your mouth shut for now, wait and see, hope for a healthy baby and healthy mom, when the time comes you will have a better feel for how it should shake out.

I have three and have managed to get out each year, but sometimes only for a day or two and often with the kids in tow.

 

[w8n4rutnmt]

Depends on the wife and your previous hunting habits I guess. I spent a long weekend archery antelope hunting less than two weeks after my first son was born

 

[CorbLand]

Its a tough one honestly. I personally see it different than most but I dont have kids.

I have a buddy that loves to duck hunt. Thats all the kid lives and breaths for. His wife was pretty cool about it until they had a kid. Then the, "you cant go out all day," "be back by 10," etc started. He played the game that most are telling you about just miss this year and dont put your foot down, it will get better. It never did and ended in a very nasty divorce.

I think it depends on your wife and how she is. If you think it will get better I would give it time but if its going to continue, put your foot down. Its not the same for everyone.

A lot of people think I am an asshole for not having my wedding in September like my wife wanted. I put my foot down on that one and didnt move an inch but I was not going to fight about it every year for the rest of my life. Sometimes putting your foot down is needed, sometimes its not. Marriage is give and take, just make sure your not always giving.

 

[Huntindog45]

yah, you are out of line. perhaps out of line is too harsh but you do need to shift your priorities for awhile. the most important moments of your life are approaching. deal with that first. in a few years she will be begging you to take off and take your baby with you and enjoy the outdoors for the day and then the weekend and then longer. those first few months are amazing. be there with your family.

BTW, I have managed to have amazing hunting experiences throughout my time raising kids. my boys have gone with me from a very early age. earlier than many are comfortable with. This will come later on in fatherhood but for me one of the things i hate hearing most is people saying "i will take them when they are old enough.." when in reality they are already old enough. Many hunters are just too selfish and they dont want their kids bogging them down. your hunting will change for awhile. you wont stay out as long, you wont go as far and you wont be as "successful" if you measure success by the amount of critters you kill. If you measure it by the time spent in the woods with your family it will be amazing, everything you do get will just be that much more amazing. my son is now 19 and he can go out and hunt with the best of us. that is because of that time when he was three and I was carting him around the woods in a jogger stroller. anyway... sacrifice some time now, love that family. and start working them into your hunting life as soon as possible.

 

[MThuntr]

I'm single AF and even my wife just yelled at me for you. Joking aside I think you can skip turkey hunting for 1 season

 

[KHNC]

I went deer hunting the morning after my son was born. Wife was sleeping late. Killed two deer that day and made it back by lunch to the hospital. Went hunting for a week two months later in another state. Then i kept my same hunting schedule in the spring and fall the next two years after my daughter was born in july a year later. Got divorced a year after that. Im sure hunting had nothing at all to do with it.

 

[Backyard]

Poor planning on your part. Neither of my 2 kids b-days interfere with any hunting ,fishing, or riding events.
Good luck with the argument.


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[MattDavis]

I don't think you are out of line but there are a lot of missing details.

A lot to me depends on the ground work you have already laid. Does your wife truly understand how important and what hunting means to you? I have a great wife who has never told me no to a hunt because she understands me but on my end there have been times I didn't ask because it was appropriate. My wife would be ok with me going because she knows Im not choosing hunting over the family and that I will give her the same freedoms. I say play the long game and wait it out. Once your kid gets here you may not want to go at that time so dont waste a fight right now.

 

[Nickziegler]

Our first is due Dec 4. 2 weeks before gun season. I have pulled my vacation for gun season just in case. Our cabin is 3 hrs north and my brother and I like to have a few beers so I figured Id rather give up 1 year and be safe. As a plus I have the entire month of October off to hunt grouse and deer up there as well as pheasants back home

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