Am I a jerk? (Read before voting)

[ODB]

Some interesting posts…

I will say that some guys seem to become “little league dads” around their kids killing deer. The line between them being pleased with their kid and them showing off to others that their kid is a deer slayer seems to be blurred at times.

feel free to pillory, as I am sure will happen, but I’ve seen this scenario play out many times. I’ve also seen it from the kid’s side, and there’s not many more unappealing things in the hunting world than a kid who has been handed success act as though it’s his own. The ones who have indeed earned it deserve it, but many don’t.

and finally, I disagree with the notion that getting a deer early is super important to keeping a hunter engaged. It’s like “get them a kill so they will keep at it.” In other realms we would likely agree that work before positive result is the right order, for some reason In hunting we want to reverse that.

 

[MightyWhitey]

I’ll give my thoughts since I was a kid with a “restriction” put on his hunting. I’m 38 now, but my dad split when I was about 10, and my 5th grade football coach knew the situation and asked me at practice if I wanted to go deer hunting with him. I said “Yes! But I’ve never been and don’t have a gun?” His response, “Gun? Anybody can shoot one with a gun. We’re bow hunters.”
So I borrowed a bow that was set up for a 6ft man and had 3 arrows that I carried in my hand. My coach walked me to my stand, made sure I got up in it, said shoot whatever you want, I’ll be back after dark. I didn’t even try to shoot the spike 10yds underneath me because I was waiting for a 8pt that never made his way close enough. He took me one more time (didn’t see anything) but that’s all I needed to start a fire that has grown every year since then.
A couple years later a friends dad let me go with them to their “deer camp”. I was about to head to a stand they’d gave me directions to close to camp when one of the guys stopped me and said, “it’s gun season don’t take that bow, you can take my gun.” I told him no it’s ok I want to use my bow. “No no you need to just get your first one with a gun” I was a kid, he was a grown up, so I walked away with his gun, sat in the stand watching deer and being all pissed off because he’d wasted my hunt forcing this gun on me that sure as hell wasn’t going to use. All the while he’s back at camp feeling like he did a good deed helping this kid get his first deer.
It took me 6 seasons to kill my first deer with a bow. I’ve never fired a single shot at a big game animal. And to this day I send my coach pictures and telling him how thankful I am for making me a bow hunter.

I’m so thankful I didn’t just get taken to a tower blind with a gun and get told to just shoot whatever comes out. Sure, it would’ve been fun at the time and I wouldn’t have know different and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the reward, satisfaction and achievement I felt after I finally got that first one with my bow all on my own is indescribable and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I earned it. It wasn’t just handed to me or made easy so “the kid can have fun”.
So, I’m extremely grateful for my “restriction or Rule”.
You’re in his life, taking him hunting regularly and being involved. I never had that. A couple restrictions until he can set by himself doesn’t seem out of line to me. He just might thank you for it when he earns it himself.

But, I don’t have kids and have been accused of being a selfish asshole, so take that for what its worth!

 

[RS_Non-Res]

Pretty sure that there isn't a forum topic anywhere that has so much consensus.
@String&stick ... You're taking it well...gentlemanly responses.

 

[String&stick]

Some interesting posts…

I will say that some guys seem to become “little league dads” around their kids killing deer. The line between them being pleased with their kid and them showing off to others that their kid is a deer slayer seems to be blurred at times.

feel free to pillory, as I am sure will happen, but I’ve seen this scenario play out many times. I’ve also seen it from the kid’s side, and there’s not many more unappealing things in the hunting world than a kid who has been handed success act as though it’s his own. The ones who have indeed earned it deserve it, but many don’t.

and finally, I disagree with the notion that getting a deer early is super important to keeping a hunter engaged. It’s like “get them a kill so they will keep at it.” In other realms we would likely agree that work before positive result is the right order, for some reason In hunting we want to reverse that.

I appreciate your though out response and comments.

I do believe if I had worded things a bit better some would have looked at it more this way, but alas it's the internet and I was in a hurry. Still a fun and engaging poll and I enjoy people's perspectives.

Thanks again

 

[txhunter581]

I am happier when my kid gets a deer than when I shoot one, so no way I get to shoot the monster if my son is with me. But that is just me.

That said, I have killed a BUNCH of deer. So that might cloud my judgement. If you change it to elk hunting and said: "if a 350 plus bull walks out" that might have given me pause.

 

[Studd muffin]

Jerk. Definitely.

 

[Randle]

Aren't ALL white tails pretty much gimme's??? I mean you sit in a tree playing on your phone until a deer walks by.

Thats eastern whiteys, try it on the ground in North Idaho .
I have had 3 bucks chasing does all around me at 50 yards , no blind just slipping thru the timber. It can be a rush

 

[william schmaltz]

I was on a fishing charter this summer and the captain had a rule that if a kid landed a halibut/salmon and it was legal, that fish was being kept. No questions asked. He had simply seen too many times where the Dad made the kid throw the fish overboard because it was too small or the wrong species of salmon and it kills the kid to the point where they are completely disengaged the rest of the trip. Who knows how long after the trip that lasted, maybe forever. My point is, the kid doesn't care if it's a fork or a 200" deer. It's his first and he's excited. Killing isn't everything, but try explaining that to a kid that has had opportunity time after time. Be careful, eventually the kid may get to "what's the point, I'm not allowed to shoot one anyways."

As far as a kid or anyone shooting a bigger animal than me, I've put myself in that situation and the answer is always the same. If the world record moose walked into camp, I would be happier to see my kid in the records books than myself. My goal for my family is to raise kids that outperform me in every aspect of life.

 

[String&stick]

Pretty sure that there isn't a forum topic anywhere that has so much consensus.
@String&stick ... You're taking it well...gentlemanly responses.

I figured there would be a certain % of responses that weren't overly productive. . . And I get it, it's easy to throw mud on the internet. But I really appreciate the longer thought out posts, both positive and negative.

I know of 3 guys locally that don't hunt deer anymore, and all 3 have the same answer why . . . It's a trophy buck they shot as a young kids, got bored after that without seeing a bigger one and went on to other things. Now there is probably a myriad of actual reasons why they stopped, but it stuck with me.

I want my son to love hunting for hunting sake, and I'm trying to teach him that and not have him burn out or quit because he won't do better.

I truly appreciate the responses and I'll grow from it and maybe change! For those who think I have a tiny ego, or am an ass hole, eh that's their opinion and it's a free country!

 

[WyoKid]

A good discussion. I will add my rules for my kid when we are out:

1) Don't forget gun safety - it is always loaded, control your barrel, keep you finger off the trigger, make sure of your target and what's behind it.

2) You carry your own gun unless you are packing meat or are injured.

3) Make a clear shot and a clean kill - don't pull the trigger if the animal will suffer.

4) Don't forget gun safety....

Lastly, have fun and enjoy the experience

 

[Still Hunter]

I agree on harvesting game with being mindful of the population and health of the herd, however, all my kids hunted growing up and nothing made me happier than to have them kill all the "trophies" while I took the culls.
When you get older I believe your mind will change and it will become more about them and just having them along with you rather than you harvesting anything at all.

 

[Still Hunter]

and it's a free country!

not much longer....

 

[CorbLand]

I’ll give my thoughts since I was a kid with a “restriction” put on his hunting. I’m 38 now, but my dad split when I was about 10, and my 5th grade football coach knew the situation and asked me at practice if I wanted to go deer hunting with him. I said “Yes! But I’ve never been and don’t have a gun?” His response, “Gun? Anybody can shoot one with a gun. We’re bow hunters.”
So I borrowed a bow that was set up for a 6ft man and had 3 arrows that I carried in my hand. My coach walked me to my stand, made sure I got up in it, said shoot whatever you want, I’ll be back after dark. I didn’t even try to shoot the spike 10yds underneath me because I was waiting for a 8pt that never made his way close enough. He took me one more time (didn’t see anything) but that’s all I needed to start a fire that has grown every year since then.
A couple years later a friends dad let me go with them to their “deer camp”. I was about to head to a stand they’d gave me directions to close to camp when one of the guys stopped me and said, “it’s gun season don’t take that bow, you can take my gun.” I told him no it’s ok I want to use my bow. “No no you need to just get your first one with a gun” I was a kid, he was a grown up, so I walked away with his gun, sat in the stand watching deer and being all pissed off because he’d wasted my hunt forcing this gun on me that sure as hell wasn’t going to use. All the while he’s back at camp feeling like he did a good deed helping this kid get his first deer.
It took me 6 seasons to kill my first deer with a bow. I’ve never fired a single shot at a big game animal. And to this day I send my coach pictures and telling him how thankful I am for making me a bow hunter.

I’m so thankful I didn’t just get taken to a tower blind with a gun and get told to just shoot whatever comes out. Sure, it would’ve been fun at the time and I wouldn’t have know different and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the reward, satisfaction and achievement I felt after I finally got that first one with my bow all on my own is indescribable and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I earned it. It wasn’t just handed to me or made easy so “the kid can have fun”.
So, I’m extremely grateful for my “restriction or Rule”.
You’re in his life, taking him hunting regularly and being involved. I never had that. A couple restrictions until he can set by himself doesn’t seem out of line to me. He just might thank you for it when he earns it himself.

But, I don’t have kids and have been accused of being a selfish asshole, so take that for what its worth!

I would say the major difference is that you had nothing forced upon you. You made those decisions for yourself. You made the decision to hold out for a bigger deer and you made the decision to want to do it with a bow. Self imposed limits are very different than forcing them upon people.

 

[JFK]

Rule #1 I think is fine. You likely know more about the area and deer populations than he does. Teaching him to pass on smaller bucks isn’t a horrible thing. If the hunting was really tough I’d consider being flexible on this rule but it sounds like he’s been successful.

Rule #2 is selfish and you are looking at it wrong. His success is your success, and should bring an equal, maybe even greater, sense of accomplishment than if you shot it.

 

[roadrunner]

It sound like a buch of guys here want their kids getting "Participation Points" so to speak. What we actually have here is a dad that wants his kid to earn any trophy buck he takes, rather then lead him to one and let him shoot it, setting unrealistic expectations for future hunts. Those trophy's are simply hard to come by, let alone harvest. The bottom line is that dad has put the work in and earned it, the son has yet to earn one.


What I see dad doing here, I view as very responsible, in many aspects. But hey, to all you "participation Point" parents, you are entitled to your opinion, as am I.

Earn?

There are plenty of other things in life you earn, a big deer ain't one of them that even matters. By your logic, the boy is an indentured servant the rest of his life...

 

[MightyWhitey]

I would say the major difference is that you had nothing forced upon you. You made those decisions for yourself. You made the decision to hold out for a bigger deer and you made the decision to want to do it with a bow. Self imposed limits are very different than forcing them upon people.

He wouldn’t let me use a gun. Bow only, his rule. And that’s true, holding out and sticking with the bow was my decision. But if it weren’t for him making me use a bow from the start, I probably wouldn’t have. But I do get your point.

 

[Bubblehide]

Earn?

There are plenty of other things in life you earn, a big deer ain't one of them that even matters. By your logic, the boy is an indentured servant the rest of his life...

Yeah and 1 plus one equals 7, right?

 

[Eyeman]

Probably, it will make them laugh and feel good!

I hear Ya. Them grandparents don't remember things [conveniently] from when they were making descisions!

 

[Clark33]

I see it this way, my dad did everything in his power when I was younger to get me on mature deer. Now that I’m older I try to return the favor and work my butt off when I’m hunting with him to find a good one.

If he imposed those rules on me when I was starting (10yrs old) I think the moment I was old enough I’d branch out on my own and not look back. Because we enjoy helping each other out we have made a lot of positive memories together.

It’s as if you’re already in a pissing match with the kid before it’s even begun.

 

[roadrunner]

Yeah and 1 plus one equals 7, right?

Makes zero sense, but yes, only 28.571% of it...

Shall we try spelling next?