Am I a jerk? (Read before voting)

Am I a huge jerk???

  • Yes

    Votes: 375 83.0%
  • No

    Votes: 77 17.0%

  • Total voters
    452

ridgefire

WKR
Joined
Feb 24, 2012
Messages
636
Location
western wa
If I'm hunting with my sons they will always get the first shot no matter how big the animal is. I also tell my son's to shoot whatever makes them happy as long as it's ethical and legal.
 
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
666
Didnt read all the comments so maybe this was addressed.

Not a total jerk.

I like rule one...this will teach him about management and conservation. You know your area better than anyone in this thread so no one should be commenting on rule #1. If you are concerned about the mulie population you need to protect as much as possible. But totally depends on the area and your neighbors and if they are on board etc.

Rule #2...well i really dont think that a newer hunter should be worrying about how a buck scores etc.

I would change rule #2: at the very least...whoever spots the deer first will have first opportunity to shoot the animal with the other person as backup. This will do two things...keep him engaged throughout the day and start forming a little competition between father and son. See who spots the most deer etc...keeps it fun and they wont get as bored etc. And if you see a good buck first...might be a good time to let the kid take the shot...only you will know at the time. I couldnt shoot a big buck if my kid has a tag in his pocket...but i also dont want them to shoot a giant buck as their first deer for some reason haha.

I think that it is a big deal you are taking your kid out. Teaching him to hunt and spending the time bonding is awesome father/son time. And setting some rules as well is fine. I like rules. Although i dont agree with rule #2...it is something. I see way too many people taking 7-10yr old kids out putting a rifle on a tripod and shooting deer. Most kids do not have the mental capacity to process what is going on. I feel like a LOT of those parents are doing it more for their own benefit than their child.

My kids 8yrs and under get 75-150 shots on a centerfire rifle a summer and can bang 2 MOA steel out to 400yds. Plenty good to harvest an animal. They get to shoot 2-3 times a week up to 5 shots a session. Thats it. Rules. I dont force them to shoot they ask but i limit their round count because i dont want to push them like the typical football/baseball dads. That just seems gross trying to live through your children.

Do i enjoy their abilities and do i secretly hope they will enjoy hunting and shooting as much as me? Hell yes! But i am not going to drag them around forcing it onto them...if they are cold we go home. If they are bored we get moving...or go home. If they are hungry we eat snacks...or go home. As they get older they stay out a bit longer...look a little more carefully...walk a little more quietly. Its super fun watching them grow into little hunters.

Ive got rules as well. They will not take a deer until they are at least 11yrs old and possibly 12 even though they can hunt legally right now. Am I a jerk because their buddies dads are letting them kill deer? Nope. Rules. They will learn to be a hunter before they learn to be a killer.

They ride in the pack until they can walk. They go scouting, hunting, tracking, processing etc. But taking the life of an animal is another story.

You spend 365 days a year with your kid. You know him better than anyone on the planet. Make your own rules and apply as you see fit. Most importantly you are spending quality time with your kid out in the woods/mountains sharing something you are passionate about. Hopefully your time together creates a special bond that will last a lifetime!

And maybe...just maybe...pretend like you didnt notice the buck first and let him take all the glory...
 

lif

WKR
Joined
Nov 7, 2012
Messages
731
I may or may not have let my son fill two of my tags for me in the last few years. 😉 . My number one goal is to be there when he kills his first big buck. My son is not spoiled, he is loved. And I’m very proud of him. If he acted like an entitled punk after killing a big buck I wouldn’t blame hunting for that, I’d blame whatever I did as a father at home for that.
 
OP
S
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
1,034
Didnt read all the comments so maybe this was addressed.

Not a total jerk.

I like rule one...this will teach him about management and conservation. You know your area better than anyone in this thread so no one should be commenting on rule #1. If you are concerned about the mulie population you need to protect as much as possible. But totally depends on the area and your neighbors and if they are on board etc.

Rule #2...well i really dont think that a newer hunter should be worrying about how a buck scores etc.

I would change rule #2: at the very least...whoever spots the deer first will have first opportunity to shoot the animal with the other person as backup. This will do two things...keep him engaged throughout the day and start forming a little competition between father and son. See who spots the most deer etc...keeps it fun and they wont get as bored etc. And if you see a good buck first...might be a good time to let the kid take the shot...only you will know at the time. I couldnt shoot a big buck if my kid has a tag in his pocket...but i also dont want them to shoot a giant buck as their first deer for some reason haha.

I think that it is a big deal you are taking your kid out. Teaching him to hunt and spending the time bonding is awesome father/son time. And setting some rules as well is fine. I like rules. Although i dont agree with rule #2...it is something. I see way too many people taking 7-10yr old kids out putting a rifle on a tripod and shooting deer. Most kids do not have the mental capacity to process what is going on. I feel like a LOT of those parents are doing it more for their own benefit than their child.

My kids 8yrs and under get 75-150 shots on a centerfire rifle a summer and can bang 2 MOA steel out to 400yds. Plenty good to harvest an animal. They get to shoot 2-3 times a week up to 5 shots a session. Thats it. Rules. I dont force them to shoot they ask but i limit their round count because i dont want to push them like the typical football/baseball dads. That just seems gross trying to live through your children.

Do i enjoy their abilities and do i secretly hope they will enjoy hunting and shooting as much as me? Hell yes! But i am not going to drag them around forcing it onto them...if they are cold we go home. If they are bored we get moving...or go home. If they are hungry we eat snacks...or go home. As they get older they stay out a bit longer...look a little more carefully...walk a little more quietly. Its super fun watching them grow into little hunters.

Ive got rules as well. They will not take a deer until they are at least 11yrs old and possibly 12 even though they can hunt legally right now. Am I a jerk because their buddies dads are letting them kill deer? Nope. Rules. They will learn to be a hunter before they learn to be a killer.

They ride in the pack until they can walk. They go scouting, hunting, tracking, processing etc. But taking the life of an animal is another story.

You spend 365 days a year with your kid. You know him better than anyone on the planet. Make your own rules and apply as you see fit. Most importantly you are spending quality time with your kid out in the woods/mountains sharing something you are passionate about. Hopefully your time together creates a special bond that will last a lifetime!

And maybe...just maybe...pretend like you didnt notice the buck first and let him take all the glory...
Love this comment and all the thought out into it, appreciate you taking the time
 
OP
S
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
1,034
When you have kids, nothing is about you anymore. Shooting a monster in front of your kid on 'their' hunt makes you a jerk.

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I understand your sentiment and am not bashing you at all but I guess what qualifies it as "their hunt". I very much view it as "our" hunt! It's not his first year out, we are a team and hunt together making it "our" hunt in my mind.

Appreciate your comment !
 
Joined
Sep 20, 2021
Messages
13
So here's the deal last year was my son's first year to be able to shoot a deer, this year is his second year and he's pumped.

However my mother and father think I am a monster. . . All because I have a couple of rules for him.

Rule #1 no small mulie bucks (our mulie population is low and Forky's are dumber than a box of rocks, let them grow)

#2 until your old enough to sit alone Dad (me) is shooting anything Bigger than what I already have at home!

That's it, those are the only rules. My son is perfectly ok with this because he knows most years I'm not shooting a deer and he's going to get to shoot two bucks and a few does. He also knows in a few more years he will sit by himself and shoot whatever he wants. Basically I don't want to spoil the poor kid if some monster walks out, and I've put in my time and all the work for these spots I deserve a little something right? So let me have it am I jerk if I shoot a trophy buck in front of my kid when he's holding a tag?

For reference his white tail range is doe to about 150 inch deer and his mulie range is mature buck up to 170inch class.
Great rules
Teaching management and patients
And rule 2 teaches him to be excited for other hunters success and in this case his Dad! Something some of us forget about.
As long as you can keep him entertained and excited you are winning.
No more millennials
 

gabenzeke

WKR
Joined
Oct 28, 2015
Messages
1,191
I understand your sentiment and am not bashing you at all but I guess what qualifies it as "their hunt". I very much view it as "our" hunt! It's not his first year out, we are a team and hunt together making it "our" hunt in my mind.

Appreciate your comment !
Fair enough. I live in Iowa where deer make people do the craziest things (like a lot of places). Whenever I hunt with kids I just see my role as mostly guide and mentor. Passing small mulies is probably a fair request. But I'd still let him whack one if he wants it. At some point, most people come to that conclusion on their own. Not me, but most people I think. :)

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TxxAgg

WKR
Joined
Dec 27, 2019
Messages
2,162
I just can’t imagine putting these ridiculous bounds on my child’s first deer. Let the laws and regulations do that. Think about it, if you shoot the “biggun” and look at it on the wall for the rest of your life, are you going to be happy? Or are you going to be reminded that “you know, that could have been my kid’s first deer but I WANTED IT.” Moreover, will your kid ever want to go hunting with you again? All they’ll think is “dad always gets to shoot the big ones. I have to work my way up to that.”

Instead of looking at it like a “I put the time in so it’s mine,” look at it as “Input the time in and WE got (kid’s name) a great deer!” Think of all the positive memories you’ll have from that, rather than shooting it for your own validation.

There, I’m done being a troll. Dude wanted my opinion and I gave it, he doesn’t have to like it or hear it.
If you read all the posts you'll see it isn't the kid's first deer
 
OP
S
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
1,034
I just can’t imagine putting these ridiculous bounds on my child’s first deer. Let the laws and regulations do that. Think about it, if you shoot the “biggun” and look at it on the wall for the rest of your life, are you going to be happy? Or are you going to be reminded that “you know, that could have been my kid’s first deer but I WANTED IT.” Moreover, will your kid ever want to go hunting with you again? All they’ll think is “dad always gets to shoot the big ones. I have to work my way up to that.”

Instead of looking at it like a “I put the time in so it’s mine,” look at it as “Input the time in and WE got (kid’s name) a great deer!” Think of all the positive memories you’ll have from that, rather than shooting it for your own validation.

There, I’m done being a troll. Dude wanted my opinion and I gave it, he doesn’t have to like it or hear it.

I appreciate this post and the context. No longer my son's first deer as I've posted before this but I catch your drift. Different strokes for different folks.

I'm not saying I'm right or that I won't change my mind, but I have enjoyed seeing some people's though process when they explain their thinking.

And I did ask for it!
 

Bear_Hunter

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Oct 10, 2017
Messages
153
Location
Willow, AK
My dad let me shoot what I wanted as long as it was legal. He got more pleasure out of seeing me harvest a deer than doing it himself and certainly didn't tell me any were off limits. I turned out just fine, and I'm glad that's how he approached it.

If I ever have a kiddo, I wouldn't care if I never pulled the trigger again if it meant they could.
 
Joined
Feb 20, 2016
Messages
412
Really don’t agree with either. Are you an asshole? Maybe. Limited examples.

1. Kids should shoot whatever they want that legal to get that experience.
2. WTF? Last year I let what would have been my #4 best buck walk even though my daughter was in a different stand so that she MIGHT have a chance at that buck. Wouldn’t do it differently.

I hunted Montana with her a couple weeks ago. My rifle never left the truck. You sacrifice for your kids the same way you dad sacrificed for you (wether you realize it or not).


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Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
1,796
Location
East Wenatchee, WA
I read all 8 pages before I commented or voted. My son is 26 now, so the years you're talking about are well behind me. When they were similar in age to your son, I didn't put much thought into what others thought about how I was raising them, least of all what others thought regarding hunting related habits.

I agree with you on #1, hunting isn't about killing, it's the experience, and the best experiences I've ever had hunting have been with my son. We didn't need the meat to survive, so I instilled in him from the beginning that we were looking for big mature bucks.

Now, onto #2. You're being a jerk. Those first 4 or 5 years (10 - 14 years old), I didn't even carry a rifle, I was totally focused on him because I wanted him to have fun and be my hunting partner for life. My son's first and second deer (both bucks) are pictured below. He was 11 and 13, and they're my greatest hunting memories and would only be topped by being there when my grandson or granddaughter kills there first deer.

11 years old
mUqJrBh.jpg


13 years old
IfmdWuQ.jpg
 
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crich

WKR
Joined
Jul 7, 2018
Messages
859
Location
AK
I appreciate this post and the context. No longer my son's first deer as I've posted before this but I catch your drift. Different strokes for different folks.

I'm not saying I'm right or that I won't change my mind, but I have enjoyed seeing some people's though process when they explain their thinking.

And I did ask for it!
Good on you for asking for criticism and receiving it objectively.

I will say that when hunting with my wifes family on their land in Missouri, the kids always end up shooting young bucks and are usually embarrased and seem disappointed after the fact. Its disheartening for me to see them be like that. They love to hunt and it should be so much more than antler size. Targeting mature animals is great if its taught as just that and not just killing big bucks. Besides that I have nothing to add that the other 160 posts didn't cover.
 
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Joined
Dec 7, 2019
Messages
918
Be honest with yourself. A year after the hunt when you look at that buck on the wall, would it put a bigger smile on your face if you shot it or if your son had shot it?


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Joined
Jul 27, 2021
Messages
1,595
Lets see, I started my son out hunting white tails many years back, sure I had a rifle it set in the corner of the blind, then along came a granddaughter same story, I have my share of deer under my belt and few nice ones hanging on the wall. for me it is the opportunity too mentor another hunter, Even now if hunting with them they are the the main focus of the hunt, be it a rag horn or a B/C buck. Like Bearwhisky said its all in the memories, some day when we are too old too stomp the high ground we will sit with those younger folks and talk of hunts and good times.
 
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