2 parter! I am glad I am not single, and why does every single woman think they are a 10?

[bozeman]

My son will be 18 in August and there isnt a girl @ his school he cares to look at.........down the road, a couple other schools, Yep, but none around him every day. Drama, Drama, Drama.......blows my mind. I feel for whoever marries them and into about 98% of their families........

 

[Billy Goat]

It's hard being a trophy husband.

 

[307]

It's hard being a trophy husband.

Avery ain't the only one with a long tongue...

 

[Bluefish]

If you were born before 1991, yep, you are old. Sorry, I dont make the rules.

Wow, guess I am really old as I had graduated high school and was almost done with college by then. Btw found a good woman, not a 10, but good looking, can ride a motorcycle fast, shoot a gun. Been married 27 years and would do it again.

 

[Jaquomo]

I got lucky late. My wife died in 2017 when I was 63. Internet dated and met some beautiful women, but who wouldn't work with my mountain home and lifestyle.

Then one day I was hiking down the road doing pack training, when an SUV pulls up, beautiful younger woman rolls down the window and asks if I'm Lou. Says she lives right across the valley and we need to get together for a beer and talk about hunting. Right. This really happened.

We had the beer, or two, and talked about hunting and fishing and got married. Now living the dream together, hunting, fishing, camping and adventuring. Strangely enough, she's American....

 

[ozyclint]

Btw found a good woman, not a 10, but good looking, can ride a motorcycle fast, shoot a gun.

So you're telling us she's an 11?

 

[Blackcats06]

T

i dont think most do. I have though. Im 32, single for 7 years now. last one was horrible, anti hunter, made me ditch friends for her, couldnt do anything if it didnt include her, etc etc. finally got the balls to leave and vowed to never bother with a woman again. just aint worth it. not to mention, 9/10 of my closest buddies/acquaintenances all dislike or even hate their significant others, and that just gives me zero motivation to go find one for myself.

That Sucks man but don’t give up. I’m not saying go out looking for one but if one shows up don’t shut her down immediately

 

[BigNate]

I think there are a lot of factors in play here, some you will never control, but most you can use to your advantage once you recognize them.

We're taught when we're young and at home to be nice. But what our fathers should have added is, " but not too nice." It's ok to be nice, but it is counter productive to take it to far. You shouldn't be their ATM, puppy, or yes man. Women quickly lose interest in boring predictable simpleton types.

It took me a while to learn this lesson but it paid off in spades. Women will bitch about toxic masculinity, and then date the azz hole who treats them bad, or even cheat on their perfect gentleman nice guy with one. They want the masculine bad boy they can't control.
It's easy to set some boundaries, let them have an opinion but not control you. Don't be afraid to say no to her. She's been groomed to tell you no. Never give her complete control of your money. Don't put her on any of your financial matters until your relationship is well established and she's proven herself. Even then be selective.

Change your idea of your value to her. She's lucky you're interested in her. You have options and don't need her, you've decided you want her. Love her, but be cautious about being IN LOVE with her. If you slide off into that ditch it can be a deep one.

When you do find one with the qualities you want, that fits your life, you will share yourself with her. Don't lose yourself in her, she is attracted to you, and she'll despise the person she turns you into.

 

[aftriathlete]

Almost final on a divorce from my wife of 12 years. I’ve learned lots of lessons through this whole ordeal, too many to try to list here. But definitely one of the biggest lessons is that you can do most things “right” but a woman is gonna do what a woman’s gonna do, regardless of her generation. That said, it has never been a more negative time for marriage and committed relationships than right now. one of the defining features that separates the generations (boomer, X, M, Z) is their willingness to stick it out through tough times in their professional and personal lives, and it’s a sliding scale as you get to the younger generations being generally very unwilling to weather tough times. I could write a book on everything that transpired and how we got to here, and I believe God has a plan for us and that God is for marriage. But at the end of the day, everyone has free will, and it’s true that some people are just broken and not fit to be in a committed relationship. I own the ways I committed to issues in our marriage though, and I have a clear sense of what I’ll look for in the future when I get back to the dating game. But for now I’m just 100% focused on being a dad (50% custody), and if I ever do get married again it will most definitely be with a prenup.

 

[bojangles808]

Curious if those that are married for a long time have parents or inlaws that were married long time. Sure theres lots of layers to every relationship but subconsciously probably if you or your spouse's parents called it quits it makes a lot easier to throw in the towel.

 

[Bluefish]

My parents and my wife’s parents were both married for shorter times that we have been married. Although both my parents had second relationships that went a long time.

 

[aftriathlete]

Curious if those that are married for a long time have parents or inlaws that were married long time. Sure theres lots of layers to every relationship but subconsciously probably if you or your spouse's parents called it quits it makes a lot easier to throw in the towel.

It’s a factor. One of many, but I think not a minor one. My parents have been married 53 years, I stuck with my wife through hard times and always tried to work through it. My wife’s mom and her older sister, which is her only sibling, are “happily divorced” as they like to call it, and let’s just say my wife wasn’t willing to stay committed in any sense of the word, let alone work through anything.

 

[bojangles808]

It’s a factor. One of many, but I think not a minor one. My parents have been married 53 years, I stuck with my wife through hard times and always tried to work through it. My wife’s mom and her only sibling are “happily divorced” as they like to call it, and let’s just say my wife wasn’t willing to stay committed in any sense of the word, let alone work through anything.

Yea almost like the family's values are the opposite of each other. that's gotta be frustrating, wishing you the best

 

[bigbassin]

Well I can’t speak for everyone else, but I think I found one that may be perfect. Discussing possible wedding dates, she informed me November is not an option due to it being the whitetail rut.

I think she may be a keeper.

 

[def90]

Dating in my 50's right now and it's a shit show.

 

[CorbLand]

Curious if those that are married for a long time have parents or inlaws that were married long time. Sure theres lots of layers to every relationship but subconsciously probably if you or your spouse's parents called it quits it makes a lot easier to throw in the towel.

I wouldn’t say my wife and I have been married a long time at 5.5 years.

My dad passed away 28 years ago and my mom never remarried. They would have been married about 15 years when he died.

My in laws are still together, probably 30 or so years.

 

[GSPHUNTER]

My parents were together 55 years when my dad died, my mother lived another ten years. One of my sisters was married for 35 years when she died from cancer, one of my other sisters who just recently died was married 62 years when her husband died a couple of years back. My wife and I have been married coming up on 47 years in July.

 

[Mojave]

My parents have been married for about 60 years. They each others 2nd and 3rd spouse respectively.

My mother has dimensia, and my father isn't exactly a bastion of health. They are still together because they are committed and they need one another. Not that they enjoy one another. My father told me that it pissed him off that he was 10 years older than her and she lost her marbles. He has been on oxygen for 15 years, and she has mostly taken care of him until about 8 years ago.

I think he would have died a long time ago with out her.

She would be dead today without him.

Something to think about.

When I got to Germany there was a an old lady that ran the German Kantine on the base I used to work on. I went in and visited her and I wanted to see if the food was still the same. Food sucked now, but she was there and her husband that had dimensia and was on another planet when I was here last time had passed. I asked her how she felt about it, and told me of my parents dilema.

She said that it is a very unfair situation to be in. She spent 10 years caring for a man that had no idea where he was or who he was for over 80% of it. She still did it, because he needed her.

 

[JB.USMC]

Curious if those that are married for a long time have parents or inlaws that were married long time. Sure theres lots of layers to every relationship but subconsciously probably if you or your spouse's parents called it quits it makes a lot easier to throw in the towel.

Im 34. Got married at 21. My parents are divorced. Her father divorced and remarried another woman. Her mother remarried and then divorced again lol. Personally, we are doing better than we ever have been.

 

[BigNate]

I think it's definitely a factor, if nothing else it's either a good or bad example of how to BE married. If the only example you have of marriage is one of an unhealthy relationship, you'll be apt to judge it as "normal".

On the other hand, seeing a healthy relationship is almost like receiving instructions.

My wife and I have been together for 32 years, married for 31.

My wife's side have divorced and remarried twice (father), Mother never remarried. Her grandparents stayed together until death on both sides.

My parents stuck it out until death, as did both of my grandparents. I probably learned more about a healthy marriage by observing what was good and working in those marriages, as well as what was causing problems.

I do think common faith in God is helpful, but Christians still see higher divorce rates than they should. The Bible does address divorce, but also gives instruction on marriage. People are still fallible, and influenced by their environment. Non Christians have an incredibly high divorce rate which isn't shocking considering the moral decay demonstrated in society.