It’s funny when divorced people (even more funny when they have been divorced multiple times) give out relationship/marriage advice.
I mean seriously, you failed at it. Don’t act like you’re an expert.
So much inaccuracy to that statement.
Life experience is life experience. A guy with zero baggage and a girl with zero baggage get married young, they tend to work it out. My sister and brother in law have what I consider to be a codependent marriage based on BS, bailing wire and duct tape. They have been married since they were 19, they are 48. I do not look at their marriage with envy. I think they are both good people who put up with an enormous amount of BS from one another. They are not experts at marriage anymore than the person that has been married 8 times.
Understanding people is not an expertise that is learned in a long marriage. You might understand the other person, or they just might put up with you.
Both men and women make less than rational decisions when it comes to the opposite sex. There will be times when you bend or break what you are to fit their mold. They might do the same.
People who do not own themselves and their lives, make really irrational decisions based on love. Even then very grounded people who have been single for a while, often make irrational decisions because they are lonely. There is nothing wrong with that, but unless both of you are capable of dealing with one another it might or might not work out.
Young men date for body count, older men date to have someone to doink on the weekend. One of my coworkers is on wife number 3. He is 65. She is 55 and a Palestinian Christian from Palestine. They tolerate one another, I hope I never feel the way he does. Their cultural differences are huge, and cause a lot of problems for eachother even though they have been together for 15 years. He is a twice a widow before.
The idea of a failed marriage is wrong. People change over time, or they change back over time. There is no state or federal regulation saying that someone has to be unhappy forever. They didn't fail, it just didn't work. It is a financial contract, and like any financial contract sometimes it is not beneficial for everyone involved.
Someone married to their highschool sweetheart for a very long time, that hasn't had to deal with the complexities of life should not "judge" someone who had a different experience.
I spent 20 years in the military, combat deployments, overseas assignments, sea duty were all reasons folks I knew got divorced. Infidelity is often part of it, but there is more to it than that.
I think most people get married too young, and they treat one another in a way that makes them resent one another. Then they are oblivous when it falls apart.
