2 parter! I am glad I am not single, and why does every single woman think they are a 10?

[GSPHUNTER]

This one has already been study in this report!!!

If looking for a woman, always remember this.

 

[Tjdeerslayer37]

Do most guys just give up?

i dont think most do. I have though. Im 32, single for 7 years now. last one was horrible, anti hunter, made me ditch friends for her, couldnt do anything if it didnt include her, etc etc. finally got the balls to leave and vowed to never bother with a woman again. just aint worth it. not to mention, 9/10 of my closest buddies/acquaintenances all dislike or even hate their significant others, and that just gives me zero motivation to go find one for myself.

 

[miket]

I think it is a multipronged issue, as usual. There are a lot of guys that play women and give them a false sense of attractiveness. During slow times most guys will "date" a woman below his league just to keep getting some on the regular. Of course, as soon as something better comes along, he is gone. But she is left feeling like she can get another thats actually out of her league since she did it before. She has no clue that she was just a stand-in. She doesnt understand that "dating" is entirely different than having a real relationship.

On the other hand, if that happens to a guy it is usually beneficial. It makes him more confident and women love that. So he is more likely to continue dating above his league. When an attractive woman sees a guy that isnt all that attractive dating another attractive woman, his value increases in her eyes.

 

[miket]

I am divorced twice and will never marry again. After this last one I did a lot of soul searching to figure out what is going on. Initially it was easy enough to just blame it on crappy women ( was cheated on both times despite having no issues in the BR ), but there was a common denominator haha.

Dont misunderstand, a high percentage of women are meeesssseedd uppppp! Dating apps only proved that fact! But there are good ones out there, but you are going to have to be a good partner yourself, or you are screwed. I have learned I am not a good partner for a woman. I have always been loyal, solid, hard working, good provider etc. I thought that was enough, but women need more, and I just dont have that in me.

Thankfully after this last one I truly enjoyed being single and only casually looked for a gf.
Found a good one, but heed the warnings above, late 40s is tough for a woman and anyone she is with....

 

[Lil-Rokslider]

This thread is ridiculous

I'm jumping over to the "weed whackers" thread for some quality reading, and to try and redeem the time I spent here.

 

[doc holiday13]

....................., 9/10 of my closest buddies/acquaintenances all dislike or even hate their significant others, and that just gives me zero motivation to go find one for myself.

Ummm WTF...... well I'm gonna call it now.. 9/10 of your friends are due for divorce.

You should share https://www.gottman.com/ with your 9/10.

Most people fail to even know why they are getting married and then they fail to even ask basic questions or air a grievance with their partner when stuff isn't going the way they wanted. Instead they act like children and bitch to their friends.

Marriage starts with affection but its built on effective communication and the humility the admit you were wrong or you never properly communicated what you wanted

 

[Tjdeerslayer37]

Ummm WTF...... well I'm gonna call it now.. 9/10 of your friends are due for divorce.

You should share https://www.gottman.com/ with your 9/10.

Most people fail to even know why they are getting married and then they fail to even ask basic questions or air a grievance with their partner when stuff isn't going the way they wanted. Instead they act like children and bitch to their friends.

Marriage starts with affection but its built on effective communication and the humility the admit you were wrong or you never properly communicated what you wanted

Oh i agree most have no business still being together. i know very, very few couples that are actually happy and enjoy being in their relationship whether its just a casual thing or theyre married with kids.

 

[GSPHUNTER]

My friend who is now single, twice married. I Never knew the first one. the second one was way high on the crazy side of the hot crazy matrix chart, meds crazy. it didn't last long. His problem is he falls in love on the first date, so he thinks. I will say of the single guys I know, they tend to be in poorer health than my married friends. My first marriage lasted 3.5 years, my current marriage is going on 47 years come this July, through the good and bad times we have managed to tough it out. she is lucky to have me.

 

[ODB]

i dont think most do. I have though. Im 32, single for 7 years now. last one was horrible, anti hunter, made me ditch friends for her, couldnt do anything if it didnt include her, etc etc. finally got the balls to leave and vowed to never bother with a woman again. just aint worth it. not to mention, 9/10 of my closest buddies/acquaintenances all dislike or even hate their significant others, and that just gives me zero motivation to go find one for myself.

I think you realize why it went south. You stopped being you and resented her for it. She didn’t change.

There was a paper written a really long time ago called “The Feminization of Love” and it was about how guys, in an attempt to woo girls, basically shape-shift into whatever the girl wants, and when one day, the guy shifts back to who he is, the girl is completely flummoxed because the whole time she knew the guy he was the “other” version of himself. So when he changes back, the girl thinks they guy is changing for the FIRST time, not reverting to a former state. This causes HUGE relationship issues.

They’re a couple lessons, one is don’t change yourself to get a chick. Another is to really try to know who you are; make sure you aren’t subtly changing to go with the flow.

Lastly, it shows you that at the end of the day, like most animals, it’s the female who decides who they mate with. When girls complains about the way guys are, they need to answer why they keep mating with that type of guy and propagating the behaviour. And the same goes to guys to an extent…why do girls think they can change men? Because men so readily change to get them.

 

[philos]

OK. Here, for your reading pleasure, we have another “Dear God is it hunting season yet” type of post.

Enjoy

 

[Darryle]

FTR, psychos are fun, I have had several. My wife was 23yrs younger than me when she passed away, she was out of my ball park, hell, she was MLB and I was playing little league.

Just remember, as you look across the room at your significant other, at some point she's contemplated the odds of her getting away with your murder and you drove her there.

 

[robtattoo]

Up to 25, I was attracted to shiny objects - much like a fish. After that I looked for pleasant looking but common interests and compatable beliefs. By 26 I had exhausted my curiosity and rarely even dated. I learned early that the really attractive ones were nice to look at - ( no closer than 100ft). But in general needed to be avoided at nearly all costs and certainly should not be trusted. Kind of like a sports car. Pretty to look at but not useful.

Yep, if she can't carry a pig under each arm while toting a load of firewood, I ain't interested.

That's what The Wife tells me, anyway. And yeah, I also married waaaay out of my weight class (figuratively speaking)

 

[TaperPin]

I don’t miss being single at all.

Internet hook ups have really cooled the desire for long term relationships, especially with women. Even a wall flower gal who is shy, nice and maybe a 4/5 can sleep with an 8 every night of the week if she wants. Half of all women seem to enjoy being cougars - putting guys in their 20’s into overtime schedules.

The funniest thing is everyone on harmony looking for mr or mrs right are also on hookup sights for mr/mrs right now.

 

[thinhorn_AK]

It’s funny when divorced people (even more funny when they have been divorced multiple times) give out relationship/marriage advice.

I mean seriously, you failed at it. Don’t act like you’re an expert.

 

[thinhorn_AK]

Internet hook ups have really cooled the desire for long term relationships, especially with women. Even a wall flower gal who is shy, nice and maybe a 4/5 can sleep with an 8 every night of the week if she wants. Half of all women seem to enjoy being cougars - putting guys in their 20’s into overtime schedules.

The funniest thing is everyone on harmony looking for mr or mrs right are also on hookup sights for mr/mrs right now.

Internet hook ups are awesome.

 

[ewade07]

I think you realize why it went south. You stopped being you and resented her for it. She didn’t change.

There was a paper written a really long time ago called “The Feminization of Love” and it was about how guys, in an attempt to woo girls, basically shape-shift into whatever the girl wants, and when one day, the guy shifts back to who he is, the girl is completely flummoxed because the whole time she knew the guy he was the “other” version of himself. So when he changes back, the girl thinks they guy is changing for the FIRST time, not reverting to a former state. This causes HUGE relationship issues.

They’re a couple lessons, one is don’t change yourself to get a chick. Another is to really try to know who you are; make sure you aren’t subtly changing to go with the flow.

Lastly, it shows you that at the end of the day, like most animals, it’s the female who decides who they mate with. When girls complains about the way guys are, they need to answer why they keep mating with that type of guy and propagating the behaviour. And the same goes to guys to an extent…why do girls think they can change men? Because men so readily change to get them.

I was a shape shifter from about age 18-25. I look back on those days and think WTF were you doing. I wasted time that i will never get back. But, its all part of the process. There was a common denominator as to why all my relationships sucked, and it was me. When i finally (and literally) looked in the mirror and realized i was the problem, i just stopped dating seriously and focused on finding out who i was and what i wanted in life. Turns out once you figure out who you are as a person shit just kinda falls into place. I met my wife about 6 years (dated for 5 and just got married august 2023) when i wasnt really looking. Turns out she was the best thing to have happened to me. Weve had out struggles but the difference is that ive actually wanted to work through them. Im thankful everyday that God has blessed me with that woman.

 

[ODB]

I was a shape shifter from about age 18-25. I look back on those days and think WTF were you doing. I wasted time that i will never get back. But, its all part of the process. There was a common denominator as to why all my relationships sucked, and it was me. When i finally (and literally) looked in the mirror and realized i was the problem, i just stopped dating seriously and focused on finding out who i was and what i wanted in life. Turns out once you figure out who you are as a person shit just kinda falls into place. I met my wife about 6 years (dated for 5 and just got married august 2023) when i wasnt really looking. Turns out she was the best thing to have happened to me. Weve had out struggles but the difference is that ive actually wanted to work through them. Im thankful everyday that God has blessed me with that woman.

Awesome stuff man! You hit on a major thing at the end - that you have work to keep a relationship going through the inevitable tough times. Love is great, but it’s commitment that keeps a relationship going. Because there WILL be times that test you - especially external events. Sickness, job loss, etc., that have nothing to do with how one feels about the other.

 

[307]

It’s funny when divorced people (even more funny when they have been divorced multiple times) give out relationship/marriage advice.

I mean seriously, you failed at it. Don’t act like you’re an expert.

It's been said that we learn more through failure than success.

Realistically, the vast majority of marriages are unhappy, so "staying married" is a pretty poor quality goal that certainly doesn't make anyone an expert either.

Being happily married is pretty rare, though people will try to convince everyone (including themselves) that it's so...

 

[CorbLand]

It’s funny when divorced people (even more funny when they have been divorced multiple times) give out relationship/marriage advice.

I mean seriously, you failed at it. Don’t act like you’re an expert.

Depends on the advice they are giving. If they are saying this is why it failed and here is how to not repeat what I did, then its the best person to give the advice. If they are giving advice as if they did nothing wrong (it is rarely one sided) then I would agree.

I would rather get advice from the self made millionaire than the one that inherited it.

 

[CorbLand]

I was a shape shifter from about age 18-25. I look back on those days and think WTF were you doing. I wasted time that i will never get back. But, its all part of the process. There was a common denominator as to why all my relationships sucked, and it was me. When i finally (and literally) looked in the mirror and realized i was the problem, i just stopped dating seriously and focused on finding out who i was and what i wanted in life. Turns out once you figure out who you are as a person shit just kinda falls into place. I met my wife about 6 years (dated for 5 and just got married august 2023) when i wasnt really looking. Turns out she was the best thing to have happened to me. Weve had out struggles but the difference is that ive actually wanted to work through them. Im thankful everyday that God has blessed me with that woman.

You were figuring out who you where going to be in the world. That what you were doing.

Like you, I found my wife when I wasnt really looking. I hadnt really dated or been on a date for a couple years before my wife. I thought she was cute and hadnt really talked to her much (we worked together) and one day asked her out as a way to get back in the saddle. Didnt think it would go anywhere at all. Took her on one date, then another, then another and the next thing I knew, I was looking at rings. Weird how it happens.