I couldn’t find it in me to take her to the vet. She hasn’t liked the vet since they removed a total of 23 of her teeth. Today I took her for her last walk in the mountains. Her last meal was my last pack of elk backstrap (Monday evening). Today she wouldn’t even eat treats, and I knew what had to be done. I didn’t expect that I would feel as bad as I do, she was a damn good dog. I do know that she died relaxed and in peace, even though I was definitely not relaxed or in peace. Us men are so lucky to have dogs that give their lives to make us happy and be obedient. It’s really not fair to them, but we have to be obliged to do what we think is best for them at the end. I did that, even though it was extremely hard. I actually asked a couple of friends to go with me to get it done, but they knew her and couldn’t do it. I haven’t wept in as long as I can remember, but today I did. I also haven’t drank bourbon in the daytime for a long time, but today, I did that too.