Hahahhaaaaaaa! I see guys using these at work (office workers) and I want to smash their umbrellas. Or waddling (attempted running) 23 steps to 'get out of the rain' and I am like, "Really?"
Whew! I'm glad you were joking. I saw this thread when you first started it and I was about to respond but thought wait what if he's serious? I didn't want to seem like a d$&@head so I didn't post. Lol.
The wife is knocked up and someone has to drink her wine. I was trying to come up with something funny but felt I had to defend myself before I made the wrong impression.