Searching???

[mooretitan]

I know this is probably the wrong place for this but right now I am just searching for help and answers. My daughter who just became a teenager has really started struggling with eating. This is something that has intensified very quickly the last couple of weeks to the point that it has become an issue. She has always been very smart, successful and independent and now just getting her to eat a meal is a battle. Lots of tears and pain the last couple of days as we have talked more to her about this. We are taking this head on and will get her the help she needs but just searching how the wheels came off so quickly. She has been pretty open about how she is feeling and she knows this is not something that she wants to do but it is a battle.
Anyways if anyone has been on this journey and has insights please let me know. I am lost right now. We have always had such a close family so this is hitting my wife and I pretty hard right now


Thanks

 

[Huntindog45]

YOU CANNOT HANDLE THIS ALONE. It sounds like she and you both are very aware of the problem and not in total denial That is HUGE. Get good professional/medical/psychological help. This is a lifetime battle.

you will need the professional help for you and your wife as much as she will need it. Make sure you dont feel any part of this is something you can skimp on. My sister in law died from an eating disorder and they always poo-pooed it. nothing about this is to be taken lightly.

 

[wildwilderness]

Get Professional help ASAP. A lot easier to get help for minors so hopefully it will be addressed sooner than later. You need to educate yourself as well. Teenagers are Hard! Love and kindness goes a long way, but you still need to hold them accountable, with love as my wife says.

 

[Jkr61]

Has something traumatic happened recently to her? The sudden change is an indicator of possible trauma- mental, emotional even physical. Agree with above professional help is needed ASAP

 

[WesternBounty]

I am not a professional and I definitely do see the benefit in seeking out one, but also do not forget nature is medicine! Try going on a family hike once a month being outside and bonding is MEDICINE ALONE. There is actual scientific studies showing being outside is good for mental health and the hike also is exercise but its a great way to not push that aspect because its enjoyable!

 

[P Carter]

My two cents: Start now, with her, to embark on a journey to find a solution to the problematic behavior. Professional help needed. Try to keep you and she united against the behavior rather than making it you vs her. Best of luck to you both.

 

[fngTony]

You have my number in a pm. Non judgmental support was huge for us. Spare no expense, be open minded to options. I don’t want to share too much publicly but contrary to how you might feel now I will say that it’s not impossible to work through.

 

[mooretitan]

Thanks to everyone who has reached out. I am not sure what triggered this or if it was just a slow buildup that I finally noticed. The one thing in life that I also judged myself on was being a good dad and husband. I felt I check off most of the boxes but I feel like a failure to her. My job is to protect her and somehow I have failed in that.
All I can do is love her and get her better. Lots of research and developing a plain for the whole the family. She is very open and I can tell she is in pain and knows that she needs to eat. It was a battle today but she ate 3 meals and knows that we aren’t going to let this go away.
I am hoping with more things opening up that she can get into a more normal routine. Family trip next week hopefully will help.
Thanks

 

[kda082]

Man, hits home. Going through this right now with a 19 y/o. My daughter is in treatment and taking medications but I’ve never felt so helpless. I’ve been making her lunches, offering suggestions, supporting however I can. just be there for her. Prayers sent.

 

[Huntindog45]

Thanks to everyone who has reached out. I am not sure what triggered this or if it was just a slow buildup that I finally noticed. The one thing in life that I also judged myself on was being a good dad and husband. I felt I check off most of the boxes but I feel like a failure to her. My job is to protect her and somehow I have failed in that.
A
Thanks

I know it is impossible to do but try not to feel this way. you need to have the confidence that you caught this and you will all beat it together. your confidence will be infectious. i agree with message above...family time outdoors will be huge.

The world got real weird around us this year. Everyone is struggling. That may have been enough to trigger whatever it is she is dealing with. Depression among teen and adults alike has skyrocketed. Going for a hike will do wonders if you can with her.

 

[lyle_destroys]

Thanks to everyone who has reached out. I am not sure what triggered this or if it was just a slow buildup that I finally noticed. The one thing in life that I also judged myself on was being a good dad and husband. I felt I check off most of the boxes but I feel like a failure to her. My job is to protect her and somehow I have failed in that.
All I can do is love her and get her better. Lots of research and developing a plain for the whole the family. She is very open and I can tell she is in pain and knows that she needs to eat. It was a battle today but she ate 3 meals and knows that we aren’t going to let this go away.
I am hoping with more things opening up that she can get into a more normal routine. Family trip next week hopefully will help.
Thanks

You can't blame yourself for something like this, but you can't blame her either. Mental illness is something extremely hard for people to comprehend that haven't ever experienced it. The term "mental illness" seems to have an unnecessary stigma around it. It's incredibly common. There's nothing to be ashamed of, I would also suggest seeking professional help. The earlier these things are treated, the better off they are for everyone.

 

[mooretitan]

We will be getting her professional help for sure and soon. We have a doc appointment tomorrow and will go from there. But will be aggressive with treatment. Before we dropped her off to church we celebrated that she ate dinner and had her say that she will beat this and she will get better. I know deep down this will be a battle but it’s a battle that she will beat. Like I said I hope we caught it early enough that we can get her on a better path soon.
Thanks again

 

[dtrkyman]

Be wary of the meds!!! If a doc is quick to just put her on a med that would scare the chit out of me.

My wife was on anti anxiety meds years ago and they FD her up, still has lingering issues from them!

 

[wildwilderness]

This is a good book on what girls face growing up. Another thought is you need to really educate yourself on the massive negative effects social media and unlimited smartphones access has on kids. My kids will never have a smartphone until they are adults and do it themselves!

 

[brsnow]

I wouldn’t get advice on here, eating disorders can have tragic outcomes.

 

[Bubblehide]

As a School Psychologist I can tell you that this is not uncommon. There is a wide variety societal issues that often play into this. The thing to recognize is that (from the sounds of it) this is a deep seated issue. Your whole family will need assistance as how you all react will affect your daughter and each other. I strongly encourage you to contact her school and request they also provide support in conjunction with any other therapy. Open communication and monitoring between the school and any therapist. If you ever want to discuss the legal aspects of the schools obligations, please reach out anytime.

 

[Dunndm]

I know this is probably the wrong place for this but right now I am just searching for help and answers. My daughter who just became a teenager has really started struggling with eating. This is something that has intensified very quickly the last couple of weeks to the point that it has become an issue. She has always been very smart, successful and independent and now just getting her to eat a meal is a battle. Lots of tears and pain the last couple of days as we have talked more to her about this. We are taking this head on and will get her the help she needs but just searching how the wheels came off so quickly. She has been pretty open about how she is feeling and she knows this is not something that she wants to do but it is a battle.
Anyways if anyone has been on this journey and has insights please let me know. I am lost right now. We have always had such a close family so this is hitting my wife and I pretty hard right now


Thanks

Really sorry to hear about this... maybe my 2 cents will help because my little brother just graduated High school and knows a few girls that did this. They got to HS and want to start wearing make up, or get “thin” like all the “models” out there.

What she might need is someone that’s not you or your wife to take her out to get food. Maybe a friend, other family member etc. she will either 1. Eat or 2. Say “I’m not that hungry” and have the other person sorta nudge them a little bit. I know it’s not a great solution; but just what my little brother was asked to do with one of our family friends.

From personal experience, my best “girl-friend” in HS had an eating disorder, got to the point of her throwing up after every meal. It took the point of me forcing her to not, telling her family and eventually getting a therapist involved. It was super hard on her, and she was LIVID with me for a while. She later thanked me, because at the time she didn’t think it was a problem.

Again, I hope this helps in any way.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Jimmy]

My wife is a therapist and counselor that also works in schools with youth.

This is not uncommon, along with many other things kids are going through today. Parents are often surprised and at a loss of what exactly to do. Often it's not anything we ourselves have gone through. Professional help shouldn't be looked down on or make you feel bad at all.


Sounds like you're doing the right thing, all the best to your family.

 

[Scramblerdog]

My prayers are with you and your family. Get professional help ASAP, and always be skeptical of meds like others have said. Stay away from junk food/sugar/caffeine/nicotine etc.etc. causes mental issues too. Good luck.